


Ex-Boyfriends

by hero_hero



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hwang Hyunjin & Kim Seungmin are Best Friends, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, but it's kinda long and angsty, oh well I regret nothing, this was supposed to be short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 04:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 52,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21229769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hero_hero/pseuds/hero_hero
Summary: Jisung introduces his new girlfriend to his ex, Hyunjin, who still has feelings for him and now has to move on. Turns out there’s someone else who has been in this situation before.Or, basically, Hyunjin and Minho decide to fake-date to get back at Jisung.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> au where neither Hyunjin nor Jisung are the self-confident boys we know and love 
> 
> Basically my initial thought process for this was, "what if Jisung's actually straight...?"  
Which means no Minsung or Hyunsung  
(Well technically he's bi in this bc no bi-erasure in this establishment)  
and then this happened
> 
> This was seriously supposed to be way shorter, but I have no self-control.
> 
> Also this is un-beta'd so please forgive any typos! Hope you enjoy~
> 
> Edit: due to recent events, I've edited out Woojin's character. He was a side character in this so there wasn't that much of a change to the story, but in case I've missed his name somewhere, please let me know! Thank you! ^^

Hyunjin, in all seriousness, thought he was okay.

But, oh, how life liked to play jokes on him time after time. This one seemed like its best one yet.

He thought going to Chan’s birthday party would be fine. It would be fun, even! Imagine that—_parties_ being _fun._ At one point for Hyunjin, they were. He used to be the life of the party—the fun, crazy, somewhat overly dramatic one whom everyone wanted to talk to (but Hyunjin only occasionally wanted to talk to them, because he liked to stick with Seungmin and Changbin—and Jeongin when he was there). So that was part of the reason that he went to this party (besides the fact that he was going for Chan).

He did enjoy himself for a few minutes. Changbin got the three of them drinks before going off to find Chan, and Hyunjin and Seungmin found a place up against the wall where they could judge people in peace. Eventually, Felix and Jeongin joined them, and they were having a particularly amusing conversation about Felix’s stressful job when Hyunjin glanced away for a moment and saw _him._

And _her_, specifically.

“What?” Seungmin asked, noticing how Hyunjin’s laugh cut off sharply and how his entire face fell. Seungmin, Felix, and Jeongin all turned to look at what Hyunjin was looking at, but they didn’t need to.

Because a moment later, a bright voice said, “Hey, guys!”

And there he was, grinning at them with that heart-shaped smile of his, holding on tightly to some girl’s hand.

Hyunjin couldn’t believe it.

Jisung—_Han Jisung_—had a girlfriend.

And he had the guts to show up at Chan’s birthday party with her.

“Jisung!” Felix grinned at him when the others stared at him in silence for a beat too long, to the point where it was starting to get awkward.

“And…Female Jisung?” Jeongin blinked at the girl next to him.

Both Jisung and the girl laughed.

“Guys, I want you to meet Choa!” Jisung said, his grin somehow widening even further. “Choa, this is Seungmin, Felix, Jeongin, and Hyunjin. They’re my best friends!”

Felix and Jeongin smiled or gave a little wave when Jisung introduced them, while Seungmin gave a small, reserved smile. Hyunjin just lowered his head and hoped Choa wouldn’t pay too much attention to him.

“Oh, _you’re_ Hyunjin?” Choa immediately looked at Hyunjin and smiled. “Jisung has told me so much about you!”

“Has he?” Hyunjin said, giving a forced smile as he refused to look at Jisung. “Should I be flattered or scared?”

“He just talks about all the stupid things you guys used to do,” Choa said. “Well, all of you, I guess.” She looked at the others and laughed. Felix was friendly enough to laugh along, while Jeongin smiled.

“Like that time Felix dared me to jump into a snowdrift without any clothes on,” Jisung said, giving Felix a look.

Felix laughed at that, his eyes turning into crescents. “Oh, that was the best!”

“Not for me—I was shivering for hours after that!”

“Not my fault you actually _did_ it!”

“I got twenty bucks out of it.” Jisung smiled proudly at the memory.

“Good times,” Felix said.

Jisung nodded, and Choa squeezed his hand. Hyunjin didn’t miss the smiles they exchanged—those little smiles that were only reserved for each other, like no one else in the room existed.

Those smiles used to belong to Hyunjin.

“Well, we should go track down Chan,” Jisung said with a grin to the rest of them. “I need to punch him twenty-two times in the arm.”

“Last we saw, he was in the kitchen,” Felix said.

“Good to know. Thanks!”

“Nice meeting you all!” Choa said, giving them all a smile and a wave before Jisung tugged her along.

The four of them watched as the two walked away, smiling and giggling to one another and never letting go of each other’s hands for a moment.

“Wow,” Felix said when they were gone, his smile fading.

“I can’t believe he just did that,” Jeongin said, wide-eyed.

“What a _dick_,” Seungmin scoffed with enough heat to suggest that he had been holding that in for awhile.

Felix looked at Hyunjin, his eyes softening and full of concern. “Are you okay, Hyunjin?”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin said, though his voice broke. He quickly cleared his throat and put on a smile. “Why wouldn’t I be? He has the right to date other people just like I do. He’s his own person.” He shrugged it off and started chugging what was left of his drink. Which was half a cup.

Felix, Seungmin, and Jeongin stared at him with various degrees of concern.

“I’m fine,” Hyunjin said.

“If you want me to go punch him, I can totally do that,” Seungmin said.

“No, no, I don’t want to make a scene,” Hyunjin said, shaking his head. “I’ll just avoid him.”

“It’s not that big of an apartment,” Jeongin mumbled, glancing around them.

“No, but there are lots of people here, so it’s easy to hide in plain sight,” Hyunjin said, even though his heart sank at the reality of Jeongin’s words. He knew he couldn’t avoid Jisung forever. He had to face him—and his new girlfriend—sooner or later. Hyunjin just didn’t think it would be so soon.

Granted, it had been over a month since the two of them had broken up (specifically, since Jisung had dumped him), and it had been just as long since Hyunjin had seen him or spoken to him.

He honestly thought he was okay. But seeing Jisung again—looking completely unaffected by the fact that he had been the cause of someone’s broken heart—sent Hyunjin spiraling down again into a hole he thought he had finally climbed out of.

The night went downhill from there. Hyunjin was tempted to help himself to more drinks, but he knew for a fact that he was one of the worst drunks to deal with and didn’t think it was fair to put that on Seungmin again. Not that Seungmin wasn’t capable of dealing with a drunk, depressed, clingy Hyunjin. But he had been dealing with Hyunjin’s shit for a month now, and Hyunjin felt terrible knowing how much he owed Seungmin. And yet, Seungmin being Seungmin, never complained and was always there to help Hyunjin whenever he had done something particularly stupid. Which was more often than Hyunjin would like to admit.

It wasn’t all _that_ bad. Hyunjin was able to avoid Jisung successfully for the most part the remainder of the night. But no matter how great the food or the music or the conversations were, he couldn’t lift his spirits whatsoever. It was nice seeing Chan again, but Hyunjin didn’t see enough of him. The downside to Chan being Chan—he knew everyone, so of course everyone wanted to talk to him at his birthday party.

Seungmin kept shooting Hyunjin curious glances, silently asking him if he wanted to leave. And every time, Hyunjin shook his head. He wasn’t going to be a killjoy just because he had a run-in with his ex. Besides, he couldn’t just run away and curl up into a little cocoon of blankets whenever life took a baseball bat to his heart. He needed to learn how to hold himself together and get through things.

But, like Jeongin had said, it was a small apartment.

“Hey, Seungmin!” Jisung intercepted Seungmin and Hyunjin on their way to the kitchen to get more food. As always, he was tugging Choa along with him. “You’re still into photography, right?”

“Yeah,” Seungmin said, glancing at Choa.

“That’s awesome, because Choa works for the newspaper at JYP University and needs a photographer.” Jisung gave Choa one of those special smiles again, and Choa returned it before turning to Seungmin.

“Really?” Seungmin asked, looking intrigued for once. There were only a few direct ways to Seungmin’s soft side—and photography was one of them.

Choa nodded. “Yep! It’s a paid position, too, but the hours are flexible and you can choose which stories you want to work on! It’s a great way to get your work out there.”

“What kind of stories are you working on right now?”

“Well, I’ve been focusing on the different kinds of injustice within our own campus, and each week I come out with a different story about a different type that affects different people, but I think a photo element would really add its impact. I just need something more than just _photos_, though, you know? I need something that’ll really pack a punch.”

Seungmin was nodding along, and as the two of them sank deeper and deeper into the conversation, Jisung snorted and glanced at Hyunjin.

“She talks my ear off about this all the time,” Jisung said.

“I bet,” Hyunjin said, forcing a smile.

Jisung smiled in reply, but it looked a bit unsure, which wasn’t like him. “So…are you still at that one modeling agency?”

“Yeah.”

“How is it?”

Hyunjin shrugged. “Fine.”

“Are you doing any fun, new shoots?”

“A few, yeah.”

“Any ones being released soon?”

“What are you doing?”

Jisung blinked, then frowned. “What?”

“I mean, why are you acting like you care?” Hyunjin tilted his head to one side.

“Because you’re still one of my best friends, and friends know things about each other’s lives.” Jisung was still frowning, like he didn’t understand why Hyunjin was asking him this.

Hyunjin couldn’t help snorting and looking away at that. “Yeah, well, I don’t consider us friends anymore, Jisung. If you wanted to stay updated on everything in my life, then you shouldn’t have stopped talking to me a month ago.”

Jisung grimaced at that, the only indication that he felt anything for what he had done to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin just shook his head and said, “If you’ll excuse me.” Then he walked away before Jisung could say anything. He felt bad about ditching Seungmin and could only hope that Seungmin would understand. He would find him after he got some fresh air.

However, the moment he stepped out onto the balcony, an awful burning smell assaulted him. He couldn’t help wrinkling his nose at it, but then Changbin’s voice called out, “Oi, Hyunjin!”

Changbin was crashed in one of the cushioned patio chairs off in the corner, a lazy grin stretching across his face. Next to him, on the cushioned patio bench, his legs stretched out so they were propped up on the glass patio table, was the one person Hyunjin liked less than Jisung—Lee Minho.

Changbin patted the empty cushion of the bench, which happened to be in between him and Minho. “Come sit,” he told Hyunjin.

With nothing better to do, Hyunjin sighed and sat down on the bench next to Minho and figured out where that awful smell was coming from when Changbin held out the joint to him.

“I’m good,” Hyunjin said, shaking his head.

Changbin shrugged. “Your loss.” Then he hit the joint before reaching across Hyunjin and handing it off to Minho.

Hyunjin decided to take Changbin’s beer instead. Changbin just smirked at him when he gulped down half of what was left.

“Don’t tell Chan,” Changbin told him when Minho held out the joint again, and once again Changbin reached across Hyunjin for it.

“Why would I?” Hyunjin asked.

“He’d be pissed if he found out we were smoking weed on his balcony at his party.” Regardless, Changbin grinned.

“He’d only be pissed if you offered it to Jeongin,” Minho said, pushing his hair out of his face.

“True.” Changbin shrugged, then grinned again. To Hyunjin, he said, “You sure you don’t wanna take a hit?”

“I don’t want to put that on Seungmin,” Hyunjin said as he stared straight ahead.

“Yeah, we’ve seen you drunk, and I’m pretty sure seeing you crossfaded isn’t any better.” Changbin giggled at the thought.

Minho rolled his eyes. “One hit isn’t gonna get him crossfaded. He’s not even drunk.”

“I kind of want to be,” Hyunjin murmured.

“Did you meet the new girlfriend?” Changbin smirked.

Hyunjin cringed. “Yes.”

“She’s nice.”

Minho snorted and rolled his eyes, making Hyunjin look at him. “He has a type, clearly. I mean—” He gestured to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean he goes for the dumb, overly dramatic ones.” Minho looked right back at him, his expression as cold and as indifferent as Hyunjin remembered it to be.

He hadn’t crossed paths with Minho much, but in the few times he had, the encounters hadn’t been exactly pleasant, specifically because of Minho’s bluntness and indifference to other people’s feelings.

Or, indifference to everyone except for Jisung.

“You’d think after taking a few hits he’d be nicer,” Changbin said to Hyunjin with a grin.

Minho shrugged. “Unlike you, I’m not completely gone after a few hits. I know my limit and I’m nowhere near it.”

Changbin snorted at that.

When Hyunjin just sat there, staring straight ahead, feeling his heart sink lower and lower with every passing moment, Minho sighed and said, “Give it a month. He’ll dump her.”

“I don’t really care,” Hyunjin said.

“Yeah, you do,” Changbin said.

“Don’t be the rebound,” Minho said, making a face. “Don’t let him come crawling back.”

“But what if I do want him back?” Hyunjin looked at him. “What if this really is just a blip and that we’ll end up working out after all?”

“Then you really are as dumb as everyone says you are.”

“Whoa, hey,” Changbin said when the hurt flashed across Hyunjin’s face. “Try to be a little less blunt, Min. Hyunjin’s going through some shit.”

“I wished someone was this blunt with me when Jisung dumped me,” Minho said, arching an eyebrow. “Would have saved me a lot of trouble.”

Right. Hyunjin knew only a handful of things about Lee Minho. Like how he was one hell of a dancer. Or that he supposedly had a reputation for breaking hearts due to the fact that he could get anyone he wanted but usually discarded them after a night or two.

Or that all of those facts fell under one title when Changbin and the others were talking about him, the unfortunate title of “Jisung’s ex-boyfriend.” Nothing else about him seemed to matter when he was always “Jisung’s ex-boyfriend.”

Though, Hyunjin supposed Minho was finally free of that title now that Hyunjin had inherited it.

“I thought I was doing okay,” Hyunjin said, staring at a stain on the glass table in front of him. “Then I saw him with _her_ and it’s like I made no progress at all.”

“It be like that,” Minho said.

“Here’s what you need to do,” Changbin said, sitting forward. “You just need to forget about him and move on. Maybe get someone else to mess around with for the time being.”

“Gee, thanks,” Hyunjin scoffed. “Haven’t heard that one.”

“Nah, the only thing that works is time,” Minho said. When Hyunjin looked at him with a bit of hope in his eyes, Minho added, “And a lot of people to screw around with. At least three times a week.”

Changbin snorted at that, while Hyunjin just sighed, the hope inevitably distinguishing.

“Do you ever keep it in your pants?” Changbin grinned at Minho.

“Nope.” Minho grinned back before taking another hit of the joint.

“You know you’re probably gonna die from some STD or something if you keep up with that lifestyle, right?” Hyunjin said. “Not to mention liver failure or lung cancer from drinking and smoking.”

Minho shrugged. “Here for a good time, not for a long time. I’ve already been alive longer than I thought I’d be, so…” He sighed and gave Changbin a long-suffering look. “I need someone to take me out.”

“Like on a date?” Changbin frowned.

“Murder.”

“I don’t really want to go to jail, so, sorry, but no.”

“You won’t go to jail if you won’t get caught.” Minho jabbed his thumb in Hyunjin’s direction. “Frame him.”

“Please don’t,” Hyunjin said.

“If I had to frame anyone, it’d be Jisung, because he’d already be suspicious for being the ex,” Changbin said.

“But now Hyunjin’s the ex, so…” Minho grinned, while Hyunjin once again felt his heart deflate. He honestly wondered how it was still beating after being shot down so many times in one evening.

“Nice job, asshole, you made him sad again,” Changbin scoffed.

“I’m not good at cheering people up,” Minho said. “I’m only good at being mean.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

Minho shot him a charming grin. “Aw, Binnie…”

“Cheer him up,” Changbin said, pointing at Hyunjin.

Minho arched an eyebrow at Hyunjin, who forced himself to meet his gaze and tried not to look like some kicked puppy, as Seungmin once called him. Minho rolled his eyes, sighed, and said quietly, without his usual detachment, “I hope the pain ends soon.”

Hyunjin blinked at that, especially when Minho paired it with a soft, gentle smile that Hyunjin honestly didn’t think he was capable of. He blamed it on the weed. Or the alcohol.

Before Hyunjin could respond, though, the door to the balcony opened and Seungmin poked his head out. He immediately made a face at the smell of the weed, but then he said, “Hey, Hyunjin, wanna head out?”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin said, standing. To Changbin and Minho, he said, “Uh, see you later, I guess.”

“See ya,” Minho said, already back to looking indifferent.

Changbin offered him a high-five as Hyunjin passed, which Hyunjin accepted.

“I’m telling Chan that you two are getting high out here,” Seungmin said.

“Aw, come on,” Changbin protested. Minho just flipped Seungmin off.

“Kidding,” Seungmin said with a smirk, letting Hyunjin walk past him. He shut the door behind them, sealing them inside the bass-boosted, alcohol-induced party once again. The two of them tracked down Chan to say goodbye, received a crushing bear hug from Chan in the process, and then slipped out into the night.

And yet, even when Hyunjin curled up in his bed that night, he still thought of Jisung and how easily the other had moved on.

* * *

Hyunjin should have known that he and Jisung wouldn’t work out even before they started dating. For starters, they hated each other for the longest time. Hyunjin didn’t even remember when he stopped hating Jisung, exactly, but it might have been when Jisung, completely out of the blue, asked him out on a date. Hyunjin had been confused as hell, but, for some reason that completely eluded him, he accepted. And then when he ended up having one of the best times of his life with Jisung that day, he felt more confused than ever.

Eventually that confusion faded away, and so did the hatred. Hyunjin had no idea how much he had hated Jisung until he came to realize how much he loved him.

A few months later, Jisung broke his heart.

They just didn’t work well as a couple, Jisung said. They were better as friends, he said. He wanted to explore some more before having any serious attachments, he said.

And, the classic—it’s not you, it’s me, he said.

Hyunjin didn’t get out of bed for a week. It took some serious interventions from both Seungmin and Changbin (and, at one point, even Jeongin) to get Hyunjin up and out of the apartment and back to school and work. Then it took a few more weeks and several late-night rants that involved Seungmin nodding along apologetically while trying to pry a tub of ice cream out of Hyunjin’s hands.

Definitely not Hyunjin’s proudest moments.

But eventually, Hyunjin stopped crying so much (a miracle all in itself, Changbin had said) and had gone on with his life. He brought his grades back up, did well at work, and even got another job offer while he was at it. Things were getting back to normal, or as normal as they could be.

Then the party happened, and the following morning, Seungmin caught Hyunjin stalking Choa on all the different social media platforms.

“Okay, really?” Seungmin gave Hyunjin a look. “This is a new low, even for you.”

“I’m just curious, okay!” Hyunjin hugged a couch pillow to his chest defensively.

Seungmin just arched an eyebrow at him, unconvinced.

Hyunjin gave a loud sigh and said, “Okay, fine, I’m jealous. Because—look! She’s won like a bunch of awards for high school and college journalism! And she’s cute and she’s stylish and she’s _smart_ and she’s cultured and she’s fighting for social justice and basically she’s some perfect human being that I can’t even _try_ to compete with.” He tossed his phone on the couch and pouted.

“Don’t you have class?” Seungmin asked.

“It got cancelled,” Hyunjin said.

“Sure.”

“It _did_!”

Seungmin snorted before heading for the front door of their tiny apartment. “Okay, well, I’m going to the library to meet some idiots for another group project. Try not to accidentally like any of her instagram posts from two years ago, would you?”

Hyunjin mumbled something about how he would never be so careless (when in fact he had done that exact thing when he was stalking Jisung on instagram a few months ago). Seungmin smirked, then left the apartment.

Hyunjin really didn’t have his usual art history class that day because they were supposed to be taking this time to do an online test at home, which Hyunjin was eventually going to do, but definitely not now. Instead, he went to the freezer and searched for any kind of ice cream to brighten his mood, despite the fact that it wasn’t even past ten-thirty in the morning.

He discovered that there were only remnants of his favorite ice cream left, which meant if he really wanted to boost his mood and therefore his productivity for the rest of the day, he needed to go buy more.

Seungmin would be proud of the fact that Hyunjin was actually leaving the apartment during one of his depressive episodes, only to be immediately disappointed a moment later when he discovered that Hyunjin was only going out to buy more ice cream.

Seungmin really shouldn’t be surprised at this point.

The closest convenience store was two blocks away. Hyunjin ignored everyone else in the store and went right for the freezers in the back, where he stocked up on three tubs of ice cream (one was for Seungmin, okay). He grabbed a couple bags of chips and a chocolate bar on the way, not even caring what people thought.

Like Lee Minho had said last night—here for a good time, not for a long time.

Yep, this was definitely a new low for Hyunjin. He was quoting _Lee Minho_ of all people.

Hyunjin almost rolled his eyes at himself, thinking it was a good thing that he probably wasn’t going to see Minho for a couple of months.

“You know you’re probably gonna die from, like, diabetes or something if you keep eating that stuff, right?”

Wow, Life was really pulling out all the stops for this joke, wasn’t it?

Hyunjin turned around to see Lee Minho of all people standing there, looking somewhat amused.

“Or, at the very least, you’re gonna get fat,” Minho added.

“I’d rather be fat and happy than skinny and depressed,” Hyunjin scoffed, his arms tightening around his ice cream protectively.

“For some reason, I don’t think you would.” Minho gave Hyunjin a look before pushing past him to the front counter.

“I’m not gonna get diabetes or get _fat_ from eating ice cream,” Hyunjin said, only following him because he needed to check out as well.

“Depends on how often you eat it.”

_Every night?_ Hyunjin thought to himself. Yeah, he was definitely going to gain a few pounds at that rate.

“Why are you even here?” Hyunjin asked instead.

“I live around here,” Minho retorted.

“What? Since when? I’ve never seen you around here _ever_.”

“That’s because I see you first and immediately take a different route to avoid you. Actually,” Minho held up a hand, “correction—I _hear_ you first and then immediately turn and go in the opposite direction.”

Hyunjin knew he was probably pouting right now, but he didn’t know what other expression to make at this point. He was never really good at hiding his feelings. “Then why didn’t you do that this time?”

Minho shrugged as he paid for a packet of gum, a bag of chips, and a soda. “I guess you’ll never know.”

Hyunjin’s pout turned into a scowl, but then Minho smirked at him and walked out without another word.

Hyunjin would never give Minho the satisfaction of getting to him, but he didn’t end up eating his ice cream that day.

* * *

The next time Hyunjin ran into Minho, it was a few days later. It was pouring and Hyunjin still had to walk a few blocks from the bus stop to the apartment, and he had forgotten his umbrella. Within a few feet, he was soaked, and it wasn’t doing much to help his mood. He usually loved the rain, but he liked watching it through a window, when he was dry and cozy inside. Not when he was walking in it. (Unless it was during the summer and he was dramatically running through the downpour to passionately kiss his lover—)

Besides, he couldn’t help thinking that the world was just enjoying itself in kicking him around.

He stopped at a corner, waiting for the light to change so he could cross the street. It had been raining for awhile, creating large puddles everywhere. There just so happened to be one right in front of Hyunjin, something he failed to realize until a car came roaring past (at twice the speed limit, probably) and completely doused him with a wave of water.

Hyunjin couldn’t help letting out a gasp in shock, even though he was already wet.

This was just…great.

_Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry_—

Though, _technically_, now would be the best time to cry because he was already wet, so no one would really be able to tell.

Hyunjin still swallowed back his tears as he used the sleeve of his sweatshirt to wipe the muddy water from his face. He saw someone approaching out of the corner of his eye but didn’t pay attention to them. Everyone on the street probably just saw him get a wave of water to the face; he wasn’t brave enough to meet anyone’s eyes.

That is, until a familiar voice said, “Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin looked to see Minho standing there, completely dry under his own umbrella, arching an eyebrow at him, looking somewhat less indifferent than usual.

“Oh,” Hyunjin said, wiping more water from his face and turning away. “Hi.”

“You look awful,” Minho said.

Hyunjin sighed. “Thanks.”

“Where are you headed?”

“Home.”

“Which direction, dumbass?”

Hyunjin gestured straight ahead. Minho didn’t say anything as he turned away, and Hyunjin couldn’t help closing his eyes tightly for a few moments to gather some composure. He supposed this could be worse—it could have been Jisung or Choa seeing him like this.

Then Minho held out something to him, moving closer so Hyunjin was partially under the umbrella. Hyunjin blinked and looked at what he was holding out, which was a dry, rolled up hand-towel.

“It’s clean,” Minho said.

“Oh.” Hyunjin took the towel from him. “Thank you.”

Minho nodded, shouldered his duffel bag, and faced forward. The light changed, signaling the crosswalk, and Minho said, “Come on.”

Hyunjin walked along the crosswalk with him, careful to avoid the massive puddle. Minho didn’t say anything else as they walked down the street. When Hyunjin slowed, so did Minho in order to keep them both under the umbrella.

“This is me,” Hyunjin said, pointing to the apartment building.

Minho nodded. Hyunjin glanced down at the towel, which was now wet and dirty from Hyunjin using it to wipe his face off. It didn’t feel right giving it back to Minho like this.

“I’ll wash this and give it to you the next time I see you?” Hyunjin said.

“It’s fine,” Minho said. “Just keep it.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“And watch out for puddles.” Then, with that, Minho smirked at him again and walked off, back in the direction they had come.

Hyunjin blinked as he watched him walk down the street. Even though it really had been a rotten day, just that small act of kindness from the least expected place warmed his heart, and he couldn’t help smiling to himself as he headed upstairs to his apartment.

* * *

The third time Hyunjin saw Minho, it was about two weeks after Chan’s birthday party, at another get-together, AKA a drinking party Chan and Changbin planned in about twenty minutes after a particularly stressful week. The usual suspects were called in, which happened to be eight of them in total, Hyunjin and Seungmin included.

To Hyunjin’s relief, Choa wasn’t there. Jisung was, but other than giving Hyunjin a polite smile (which Hyunjin ignored), Jisung didn’t speak to or even look at him. Instead, he spent most of his time shouting at Felix and Jeongin as they played some video game. Hyunjin crashed on the couch with Changbin and Chan while Seungmin went off to play video games with the others.

“Scale of one to ten, how bad was your week?” Chan asked Hyunjin when he sat down.

“Eight,” Hyunjin said.

Chan immediately poured him a shot of vodka and handed it to him. Hyunjin couldn’t help smirking as Chan poured some other shots as well before helping himself to one.

“We’re taking a shot for every bad thing that happened this week,” Chan said, holding up his glass.

“Just give me the bottle, then,” Changbin said, making Chan laugh. The three of them clinked their glasses together before downing the alcohol all at once. Hyunjin couldn’t help making a face at the burn, wondering how much he should really drink tonight. He could always just crash on Chan’s couch if he didn’t feel like putting the responsibility of caring for his drunk ass on Seungmin tonight. But in that case, he would have to get blackout drunk.

That didn’t sound like such a bad idea to him.

As Chan poured them all another round and Changbin focused on creating the perfect playlist for their night, the front door opened. Hyunjin peeked over the couch as Minho walked in, looking deeply annoyed.

“Minho!” Chan called out with a grin, unfazed by Minho’s bad mood.

“We’re getting wasted tonight, yeah?” Minho said, walking around the couch and collapsing onto the empty cushion next to Hyunjin.

“Bad week?” Chan said, already pouring Minho a shot.

“The worst,” Minho said with a scowl.

“You and me both, bro,” Changbin said, still scrolling through his music app.

“Scale of one to ten,” Chan said, handing the glass to Minho.

“Twelve,” Minho scoffed. He tossed back the shot without even waiting for the rest of them and immediately held out the glass for Chan to refill.

“Oof, care to share?” Chan refilled it.

Minho didn’t say anything as he stuck his leg straight up in the air and pulled down the sweatpants to reveal a wrap around his ankle.

Chan raised his eyebrows while Changbin's jaw dropped. Hyunjin was momentarily distracted by how effortlessly flexible Minho was before he realized the gravity of the situation.

“What happened?” Chan asked.

“Twisted it,” Minho said, his eyebrows set in a straight line. “But I can’t afford to go to the doctor so I have no idea what’s actually wrong with it. It hurts to even walk.” He dropped his leg back onto the ground with a deep scowl.

“You should really go to the doctor, Min,” Chan said, his face full of concern.

“I _can’t_,” Minho scoffed. He shook his head and picked up his glass. “Whatever. It’ll be fine. I’m still gonna keep dancing.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

Minho turned his glare on Chan, and even though it wasn’t directed at him, Hyunjin couldn’t help leaning away from Minho. “Tryouts for the team are in a few weeks,” Minho said. “I can’t afford to stop dancing, Chan.”

“Well, technically, you can,” Chan said with a shrug. “It’s not a job. But I understand that you don’t want to.”

“Just be careful,” Changbin interjected when Minho’s glare on Chan turned somewhat murderous. “Missing a few weeks now might be better in the long term. What if you ended up seriously injuring your ankle and had to stop dancing completely?”

“I’d kill myself,” Minho said without missing a beat.

“Whoa, calm down there, edgelord,” Changbin said.

“A dancer’s career is already short,” Minho scoffed. “I can’t afford to take any breaks right now.”

“But—” Chan started to say when Minho shot him another glare.

Hyunjin concluded that whatever the other two said was only going to piss Minho off more, so he decided that now would be a good time to change the subject before Minho snapped and killed someone (most likely _him_ since he was closest). “How about a toast?” he said, sitting forward and blocking Minho’s view of the other two. He held up his glass. “To shitty times?”

“To shitty times made better with friends,” Changbin said, jumping on Hyunjin’s change of topic. He lifted his glass as well.

Minho stopped glaring at the others long enough for them to all join in on the toast, though he didn’t tap his glass against anyone else’s. He just downed the glass and immediately reached for the bottle for a refill.

The conversation diverged at that point, careful never to go near Minho’s injury or dancing career again. Minho didn’t talk much anyways; he was only focused on drinking.

After a few shots, Changbin decided to order food, which brought the others into the room. Hyunjin saw how Jisung blinked at the sight of him sitting next to Minho, though Minho didn’t even acknowledge Jisung’s presence. However, he did look up from his phone when Felix said hi to him.

“Hi,” Minho said to Felix, giving him a smile.

Felix sat down on the armrest of the couch next to Minho. “How’s your ankle?”

Chan and Changbin looked up at that, tensing.

“Oh, it’s okay,” Minho said. “Hurts.”

“Did the doctor check it out?”

“Nope. But it’s fine.” Minho gave Felix another smile, and Felix nodded and dropped the topic, much to everyone else’s relief.

Chan glanced at Changbin, who took the opportunity to get everyone’s order. The younger ones wanted chicken and coke, then Chan, Changbin, and Jisung wanted pizza, Minho was indifferent, and Hyunjin was hungry for anything. So Changbin ended up ordering both, yelling at everyone that they had to pay up.

“Can I pay you in another way?” Minho asked, leaning his head on the back of the couch to stare up at Changbin, who stood behind it. He smirked and gave Changbin a wink.

“In your dreams,” Changbin snorted.

Minho whined at that, but Hyunjin said, “I can pay Minho’s portion this time.”

“I don’t care, I just need your money,” Changbin said. Hyunjin gave him fifteen bucks, which Changbin accepted before moving on to collect from Felix and Jisung.

Minho lifted his head from the couch and looked at Hyunjin, his eyes narrowing.

“Payback for the towel,” Hyunjin said quickly as his face flushed. He could only hope that Minho would think it was because of the alcohol.

Minho didn’t say anything as he studied Hyunjin, and Hyunjin couldn’t help holding his breath. He tried not to squirm under Minho’s gaze and tried to hold it instead. That only worked for about five seconds before he looked away at his drink. But even then, he could feel Minho’s eyes on him.

The younger ones stayed in with them until the food came, then immediately went back to whatever game they were playing. By that point, Hyunjin had had about four shots and was already starting to feel giggly and lightweight. Not to mention how the room was already starting to spin. He knew probably one more would tip him out of this buzzed state and towards blackout drunk, and Changbin knew that too.

“Are you drinking to get drunk?” Changbin asked him.

Hyunjin shrugged and grinned at him, unable to keep a laugh from bubbling out of him. Changbin grinned back and laughed too. As much as Changbin drank with Chan, he was totally a lightweight and was probably drunker than Hyunjin at this point.

Minho snorted and shook his head. “Lightweights.”

Changbin reached across Hyunjin to shove Minho’s shoulder. Hyunjin reached out and latched onto Changbin, deciding that it was unfair that he was sandwiched in between two ridiculously attractive guys and wasn’t hugging or touching _either_ of them. Changbin let Hyunjin wrap his arms around his waist and rest his head on his shoulder in return for putting an arm around Hyunjin’s shoulders.

“Can you play that one song?” Hyunjin slurred.

“What song?”

“That one that goes like…” Hyunjin tried humming it, thinking it sounded exactly like what he heard in his head, and Changbin just laughed at him. Hyunjin sighed out of frustration and said, “It’s the one Jisung likes.”

“Sunflower,” Minho said.

“Yeah!” Hyunjin grinned and pointed at him. “That one!”

Minho smirked at him, though it seemed more sad and pitying than anything.

Changbin rolled his eyes and played the song, and Hyunjin tried to sing along to it, but he didn’t remember the words and ended up just humming along loudly to the tune. He remembered the words to the second verse, though, and he grew quiet as he realized how relatable they were. Changbin glanced down at him when he fell silent and quickly changed the song. At that point, though, it was too late, because Hyunjin’s good mood had plummeted once again.

He always had three phases when he drank. When he was tipsy, he got giggly and a bit whiny. When he was buzzed, he got clingy and overly affectionate.

When he was drunk, he got depressed and sometimes started crying for no reason. Once the crying started, it was usually hard to stop it.

Right now, he was fighting back tears and wished that the person he was hugging was Jisung. How cruel was it that Jisung was literally in the other room, and yet he was practically on another planet.

Changbin tapped Hyunjin’s arms a few minutes later, signaling for him to let go. Hyunjin just tightened his grip, and Changbin sighed. “Come on, Hyunjin, I gotta pee.”

Hyunjin mumbled something incomprehensible even to him. Changbin pried his arms off and stood up. He glanced at Minho, got an idea, and said, “Here, hug Minho. He looks like he needs it.”

“What?” Minho looked up from his phone, but Changbin was already depositing whiny, clingy, _drunk _Hyunjin on him.

Changbin just giggled at his expression and ran off—or, stumbled, more accurately, because, again, he was as drunk as Hyunjin.

Minho sighed but lifted up his arm and let Hyunjin hug him around the waist. Minho put his arm around Hyunjin like Changbin had and went back to scrolling through his phone like they had done this a million times before.

Hyunjin burrowed into Minho’s side, breathing in the smell of fresh cotton, some sort of cologne, and a bit of sweat.

He smelled like Jisung, and Hyunjin was tearing up again. This time, it was harder to hold back.

Minho glanced down as Hyunjin started crying into his shirt. Instead of getting mad like Hyunjin expected, he set his phone aside and started combing his fingers through Hyunjin’s hair, pushing it back from Hyunjin’s face. That just made Hyunjin cry harder, because it felt so good, and he hadn’t felt something like that in a while. He just wanted to hug someone and for someone to hug him back. He just wanted to feel safe and wanted for once. 

Maybe Minho said something to him. Maybe he said something back. He couldn’t remember. He didn’t even remember passing out. All he remembered was hugging Minho while _Sunflower_ played in the background.

* * *

Hyunjin woke up the next morning with a pounding headache that made the rest of him feel absolutely disgusting. The moment he tried to open his eyes, though, he was overcome with a wave of revulsion, and suddenly he was rolling over, off the couch.

“Oh, no—no, no, no—” Chan’s voice came, and then a bucket was shoved under Hyunjin’s head before Hyunjin threw up everything from last night.

Chan let out a sigh of relief as Hyunjin puked his guts out into the bucket and not onto the floor. “You good?” he asked after Hyunjin seemed to finish. “Hold onto this, I’ll get you some water.” Then he stood up and was gone.

Hyunjin slid completely off the couch and sat with his back against it on the floor, grimacing. He heard Chan come back and felt him press a glass of water into his hand. “I’m sorry,” he said, opening one eye.

“Nah, you weren’t too bad,” Chan said, helping him lift the water to his lips. “You stayed passed out on the couch for the entire night.”

“Seungmin?”

“Sent him home. Told him we’d take care of ya.”

Hyunjin nodded, then regretted moving his head at all.

“Just take your time,” Chan said. “No rush. We’re here all day.”

Hyunjin hummed in response, and Chan left him there on the floor.

Eventually, he pulled himself together enough to make his way back to his apartment. He fully intended to curl up in layers of blankets on his bed for the rest of the day. After taking a shower first, of course.

Seungmin was in the living room, looking completely fresh and rejuvenated. Basically the exact opposite of Hyunjin right now. “And he’s back!” Seungmin smirked at him as he walked through the door. “How’s the head?”

Hyunjin just groaned in response and shuffled towards his room. Seungmin laughed after him.

He pulled out some clothes that didn’t really match and headed for the bathroom. As he stripped off his dirty clothes to get into the shower, though, he paused, noticing something written on his forearm. He frowned, seeing a phone number and a name written in black permanent marker.

_Lee Minho._

Hyunjin blinked, staring at the digits and letters like he had never seen anything like them before. He stared at them even in the shower, wondering what the hell they could mean. Why would Minho of all people give Hyunjin his number? Did Hyunjin do something last night? Did he flirt with him? Or kiss him? Hyunjin honestly couldn’t remember. Besides, if he did, he had no idea why Minho would like it enough to give him his number, because Hyunjin distinctly remembered that he was crying like he always did when he got drunk.

He sat on his bed after his shower, still staring down at the faded digits in confusion. He supposed there was only one way to find out.

He called the number, his heart pounding harder and harder with every ring.

It only rang a few times before the other end picked up.

“Hello?”

Hyunjin almost forgot how to speak as a jolt of terror shot through him. Yep, that was definitely Lee Minho’s voice. “H-hey,” he managed to say. “It’s, uh, it’s Hyunjin.”

“Oh, hi, Hyunjin,” Minho said.

“Hi,” Hyunjin said, then cringed. “So, um, you left your number and I’m kind of confused as to why…? I don’t really remember anything from last night so if anything happened I’m really, really sorry.”

“Nothing happened,” Minho said. “Well, other than you passing out from crying.”

Hyunjin cringed again. “Right. Sorry.”

“Actually, I was wondering if we could meet and talk in person. I have something to run by you."

Hyunjin frowned. “Oh, uh, okay.”

“Do you know where Placebo is?”

“That coffee shop a few blocks away from the convenience store?”

“Yep. Meet you there in ten?”

“Sure.”

“Awesome.” Hyunjin swore he could hear a smile in Minho’s voice. “See you there.”

Then, with that, he hung up, leaving Hyunjin more confused than ever.

He changed into something that looked somewhat more presentable and made his way down to the coffee shop. In all honesty, he had never set foot in there before because he wasn’t a huge coffee drinker, but today, he could use some coffee.

He didn’t see Minho yet, so he ordered a latte and found a place by the windows to wait.

Minho came in a few minutes later, glancing around and immediately spotting Hyunjin. He gave Hyunjin a rare smile, which Hyunjin returned.

“Hi,” Minho said when he approached.

“Hi,” Hyunjin said.

“I’m just going to order first and then we can talk, okay?”

Hyunjin nodded, and Minho smiled again before walking away to get in line. Hyunjin quickly took a couple sips of his coffee, burning his tongue in the process. When Minho sat down, Hyunjin regretted his decision to get something with lots of caffeine in it, because now he was too jittery.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Hyunjin asked, hoping his voice didn’t sound too high.

“Well,” Minho took off the lid of his coffee—black coffee, Hyunjin noticed—to stir in a single packet of sugar, “you were passed out at this point last night, but you should have seen the look on Jisung’s face.”

“What? Why? What happened?”

Minho smirked as he took a sip of his coffee. “He looked _jealous_.”

Hyunjin blinked at that. “Of who? Of you?”

“Either you or me,” Minho said with a shrug. “But it got me thinking.”

“Oh no,” Hyunjin said.

Minho gave him a look. “It got me thinking,” he repeated, “that you still want Jisung back, right? Want to make him want you and regret dumping you? Well, what if you made him so jealous that he dumped Chewy or whatever her name is and came crawling back to you?”

“You said that I shouldn’t accept him if he does that,” Hyunjin said with a frown.

“Right, but that’s irrelevant,” Minho said, waving the thought away. “My thought is, what better way to make him jealous and regret breaking up with you if you started dating his other ex?”

Hyunjin blinked again. “I don’t follow.”

Minho sighed and gave him another look. “I’m saying we should fake date to make Jisung jealous.”

“Why would you want to make Jisung jealous, though? You hate me. Don’t you?”

“Okay, well, I hated you for a little bit because Jisung dumped me for you and I didn’t see what he saw in you other than the fact that you were just a pretty face—” Hyunjin’s face flashed with hurt at that, but Minho continued, “—but then he dumped _you _too and I couldn’t help feeling bad for you because you looked so pathetic.”

“I don’t think you’re really helping your case right now.”

Minho sighed again. “Basically, I want to get back at Jisung too. And I think once he sees both of his exes dating each other that he’s going to realize that he can’t just keep dropping people like this. And maybe he’ll come back to you, too, I dunno.”

“But…don’t you drop people too?” Hyunjin frowned.

Minho set down his coffee cup hard enough to make Hyunjin jump. “Who told you that?”

“I mean, I’ve just heard that you’re kind of a fuckboi,” Hyunjin said, shrinking into himself.

Minho was staring at him like that was the most absurd thing he had heard, and Hyunjin was momentarily terrified for his life.

“You even said that you get around,” Hyunjin added quickly.

“Yeah, but that’s not leading people on and then dropping them like Jisung,” Minho scoffed. “They know as well as I do that it’s just a one-night stand with no strings attached. We flirt, we fuck, we leave. Nothing more than that.”

“Oh,” Hyunjin said in a small voice. “But…that’s not what you want to do with me?”

“No,” Minho said shortly. “I want to get back at Jisung, basically. And you want to get back _with_ Jisung. Maybe you could get back with him for a little bit and then dump him like he dumped you.” He shrugged. “That’d be karma.”

“I still don’t see how this benefits you,” Hyunjin said.

Minho sighed in annoyance once again, and Hyunjin felt a little bad about trying his patience, but he really was having trouble following. He blamed his hangover.

“I guess it comes back down to a superiority complex, if you will,” Minho said. “Jisung wasn’t supposed to break up with me. _I_ should have broken up with _him_. I don’t get dumped.”

“Right, the heartbreaker, not the heartbroken,” Hyunjin said.

“Right,” Minho said. “So, this is kind of me re-establishing myself as that. Not only am I completely fine after him, but I’m also better than him in using his ex as my rebound.”

“Or he could see it as you picking up his leftovers,” Hyunjin said.

Minho gave him a look. “You’re really not helping yourself.”

Hyunjin shrugged and said, “So…what about me? Am I a heartbreaker too?”

“No,” Minho said without missing a beat. “You are such a sub in this scenario it’s not even funny.”

“So this ends with you dumping me in front of Jisung to make you feel better about yourself?”

“Yeah, and then he swoops in to make sure you’re okay and that’s when you make your move.”

“Wait, I’m making a move now? What if he just rejects me again?”

“By the time I ‘dump’ you, we’ll be well-established and Jisung will be so jealous that he’ll do anything to get you back,” Minho said.

“So this is a long-term thing?”

“As long as it takes.”

Hyunjin blinked, thinking it through. Worst-case scenario, he could find himself broken-hearted once again within a couple of months. Best-case scenario, he could get Jisung back and feel okay again.

Was it worth it?

“Okay,” he heard himself say.

Minho smiled. “Cool.”

“So, I guess we’re fake boyfriends now,” Hyunjin said.

“Yep.”

“And I can’t tell anyone about this, right?”

“No.”

“What about Seungmin?”

“No, because Seungmin will tell Changbin thinking Changbin can keep a secret and he can’t. Changbin will tell Chan, who won’t mean to mention it to Jeongin but will do it anyways, and then Jeongin will then immediately tell it to Felix, and we both know that Felix can’t keep a secret for the life of him and that the first person he’d tell is Jisung.”

Hyunjin blinked, still a few steps behind in that explanation, but then he said, “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“What about boundaries?” Hyunjin asked with a frown. “Like, are we going to be the touchy-feely fake boyfriends or are we gonna be the power-couple fake boyfriends that do everything together or are we gonna be the super-busy fake boyfriends that only have time for a date every now and then?”

“What kind of boyfriends were you and Jisung?”

“Touchy-feely.”

Minho made a face at that.

“I figured that wouldn’t really be your style,” Hyunjin said.

Minho sighed. “If it’ll make Jisung jealous for you, I can make some exceptions. I’ll make sure to make out with you right in front of him because I totally want to see his face when that happens.” He smirked again.

“Well, um, I don’t want you to kiss me.”

Minho frowned. “Why? Is that too serious for you?”

“It’s something I like to reserve for someone I’m in a relationship with,” Hyunjin said, only to quickly add when Minho opened his mouth, “A _real_ relationship.”

“Fine. No make-out session. But I think it would be convincing and annoying towards Jisung if I kissed you once in awhile. It doesn’t have to be on the lips. Just on the cheek or the head or the neck or something.”

Hyunjin thought about it, then sighed. “Fine.”

Minho smiled. “Good.”

“What about dates? If we’re fooling everyone, then we’re gonna have to fool Seungmin. Which means he’s gonna have to see you around the apartment every once in awhile.”

Minho shrugged. “Okay.”

“And we’re gonna have to go out and make ‘public appearances.’” Hyunjin made air-quotes with his fingers.

“Sure.”

Hyunjin frowned. “You seem pretty relaxed on a lot of this.”

“It’s fake dating, it’s not hard,” Minho said, arching an eyebrow. “We just have to pretend to like each other.”

“Maybe not for you,” Hyunjin said. He looked down at his coffee.

“We have to post about it on social media, too. And make sure you change your background. Oh, and I’ll give you one of my hoodies at some point.”

“Oh, wow, moving right on to the hoodies,” Hyunjin said quietly.

Minho gave him a look. “Is that another thing you save for ‘real’ relationships?”

“No, you’re just paying a lot of attention to detail,” Hyunjin said.

Minho snorted. “Duh. Why wouldn’t I? We need this to be convincing.”

“You’re right. When are you gonna tell the others?”

“Oh, I didn't think I would for a bit.” Minho smirked as he pushed back in his chair, preparing to stand up. “I was thinking of kind of catching them unawares.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin blinked. “You’ll let me know before you catch them unaware, though, right?”

Minho just winked at him as he grabbed his coffee and stood. Then he walked away without another word, leaving Hyunjin staring after him with his mouth hanging open.

When he got back to the apartment, Seungmin looked up from the couch at him in surprise.

“Oh, where’d you go?” Seungmin asked.

“Just to a nearby coffee shop,” Hyunjin said.

Seungmin frowned. “I thought you didn’t like coffee.”

“I don’t.” Hyunjin smirked to himself as he walked to his room. “It was a date.”

* * *

Minho told Hyunjin that in order to make this thing the most effective, they needed to make themselves “official” in a huge way at a huge event. Jisung and Choa had to be present, otherwise, what was the point? Hyunjin pointed out that the others could spread the rumors about them and reach Jisung that way, but Minho disagreed. Jisung had to be there. Plus, Minho wanted to see the look on his face.

Unfortunately, everyone’s lives were fairly busy. Those huge parties didn’t happen very often, maybe once or twice a month at the most. And it had to be a larger event to get Jisung to bring Choa along.

However, they got lucky. Midterms were over, but finals were steadily coming up, which meant the professors were cramming in their last-minute major projects and assignments. That meant Chan and Changbin were going to plan more drinking parties.

Their opportunity came a little over a week after Minho’s initial proposal. Another drinking party. But this time, more people were invited.

Hyunjin was already scared out of his mind when he and Seungmin headed to the party that Friday night. He didn’t like large crowds or people staring at him (which was ironic considering he did some modeling on the side just for economic purposes). He didn’t like making a scene. And he knew the moment after he and Minho did this, there would be no going back, and that the two of them would most likely be bombarded by the others. After this, there would be scrutiny and judgmental stares and negativity.

But there could also be some positivity and support from his closest friends.

_Besides_, Hyunjin told himself, _this is all to get Jisung back. It’s worth it in the long run._

Minho wasn’t there yet when Hyunjin and Seungmin arrived, but that didn’t surprise Hyunjin. Minho liked to be fashionably late, while Hyunjin and Seungmin liked to be on-time. Jisung and Choa weren’t there yet either, but most of their other friends were there, even Jeongin. Then some of Chan’s friends were there too, like some crazy guy named BamBam, and then some of Felix’s friends from the dance studio—Hyunjin only knew one of them, a girl named Yeji, because apparently they looked similar and had the same surname. He smiled and waved at her when he passed, which she returned before going back to a conversation with her group of friends.

They found Changbin in the kitchen, setting out different bottles of alcohol. “Got the good stuff this time,” he said with a grin when he saw the two of them. “You gonna go hard with me again, Hyunjin?”

“Back off, he’s mine,” Minho’s voice said, and he appeared next to Hyunjin.

Changbin rolled his eyes. “Calm down, Minho. You say that like you’re his boyfriend or something.”

Hyunjin involuntarily shivered as Minho’s arm slid around his waist, and Minho gave Changbin a knowing smirk.

“Hold on, what?” Changbin stared at the two of them.

“What,” Seungmin said, glancing between Changbin and Minho, not comprehending what was happening.

Changbin pointed at Minho. “He and Hyunjin are _dating_?”

“What?” Seungmin blinked at Hyunjin.

“Shh, it’s a secret,” Minho said, pulling Hyunjin closer to him. Hyunjin realized he was acting a bit too stiff for this to be believable, so he leaned into Minho, whose smirk widened into a haughty smile.

Changbin looked at Seungmin, who looked just as confused as him. “Wait, so you didn’t know about this either?”

“No,” Seungmin said.

Changbin squinted at Minho and Hyunjin suspiciously. “Weird.”

“Like I said, it’s a secret,” Minho said.

“Why, though?”

Hyunjin took that one. “Because you guys would freak out if we told you, so we wanted to hold off until we were a bit more official.” He shrugged.

Minho looked at Changbin like, _exactly_.

“But you _are_ official?” Changbin asked.

Minho rolled his eyes. “_Yes_.”

Once again, Changbin and Seungmin exchanged confused and concerned glances. Minho took the opportunity to turn to Hyunjin and ask, “What do you want to drink?”

Hyunjin shrugged. “Just a beer, I guess.”

“Okay.” Minho smirked and planted a kiss on his cheek before walking away to the fridge.

Hyunjin knew he turned bright red from that and glanced at Changbin and Seungmin, who were staring at him. “Minho’s my boyfriend,” Hyunjin said with a little laugh, trying it out for the first time. It sounded weird even to him, but he covered it up with a smile.

“Right,” Changbin said, still staring.

Hyunjin was saved from trying to look genuine when Minho came back and pressed a cold beer into Hyunjin’s hand. He gave Hyunjin a flirty wink before slipping past him to the rest of the party.

Hyunjin didn’t catch up with Minho until a few minutes later, when Minho intercepted him and pulled him into the hallway, away from the prying, curious eyes of everyone else.

“I think that worked,” Hyunjin said. “Though, Jisung and Choa aren’t here yet.”

Minho snorted as he arched an eyebrow at him. “Excuse me? That wasn’t the big reveal.”

“It wasn’t?”

“Not even close. I just like messing with Binnie.”

Hyunjin stared at him, his mouth hanging open. “Wait, so what _else_ do you have planned?”

Minho just smirked at him, but before he could walk away, Hyunjin grabbed him by the wrist. The flirty smirk immediately vanished from Minho’s face, replaced by a heated glare that made Hyunjin jerk his hand away.

“Sorry,” Hyunjin said, unable to keep himself from shrinking back. “But, seriously, just give me a little warning so I don’t accidentally freak out and kick you or something.”

Minho rolled his eyes. “Relax, it’s not like I’m gonna throw you against the wall and make out with you. You _clearly _stated how much you don’t want me to kiss you.”

“But—”

“Just go with it, okay?” Minho shot him an annoyed look. The voices from the living room rose in volume, causing Minho to glance away. He immediately scowled. “And look who it is.”

Hyunjin really didn’t need to look at who it was, but he did anyways. And when he did, Minho took the opportunity to slip away. Hyunjin looked back, saw Minho already walking to the other side of the room, and couldn’t help sighing in annoyance. He didn’t know what he expected from Minho, to be honest.

He saw Jisung and Choa greeting some of Felix’s friends on his way back over to Seungmin and Changbin. Both of them were sitting on the couch, already looking bored with the party, even though the party technically wasn’t even getting started yet. There was another commotion as Felix came in to see Jisung, but since Minho wasn’t in the room, Hyunjin didn’t bother watching their interaction. Instead, he looked back at Seungmin and Changbin.

Before he could say anything, though, Chan sat down next to him. “Wait, so you and Minho are dating?” he asked, frowning. “Since when?”

Hyunjin shrugged as both Seungmin and Changbin perked up. “For a few weeks now.”

“And you were going to tell us _when_?” Changbin asked, sitting forward to rest his forearms on his knees. To Chan, he said, “He didn’t even tell _Seungmin._”

“Sorry.” Hyunjin gave a small, sheepish smile. “I was just worried you guys were gonna freak out on me.”

“We don’t _freak out_,” Changbin said, looking offended.

Hyunjin arched an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, maybe we ask a few questions but _you’re_ one to talk!”

Hyunjin just smirked at that, then glanced up at the rest of the room. He saw Jisung looking at him. Jisung gave him a small, soft smile, which Hyunjin was tempted to return. Jisung looked almost apologetic in that moment, and Hyunjin almost fell for it.

Then Hyunjin felt someone wrap their arms around his neck from behind the couch. He almost jumped out of his skin but remembered to relax at the last possible second.

“You want anything to drink?” Minho asked in a low, smooth voice as he lowered his head so his mouth was right next to Hyunjin’s ear.

Hyunjin glanced at Jisung for a split second, just to see Jisung’s face, before leaning back into Minho, who tightened his arms around him. “Nah, I’m good. Thanks though.”

“Mm-hmm.” Minho moved so he was speaking directly into Hyunjin’s ear, making it look like they were sharing some sort of secret just between lovers. Hyunjin almost shivered at the feeling of Minho’s breath on his ear. It felt way too intimate for his taste, but he knew that was the point.

“Still not the big reveal, but getting there,” Minho murmured. Then he kissed the side of Hyunjin’s neck and withdrew.

Hyunjin couldn’t help smirking to himself, though Seungmin, Changbin, and Chan were all giving him weird looks, probably disgusted by the sudden displays of affection.

“Since when was Minho so _touchy_?” Changbin scoffed.

“Oh, that’s not even half of it,” Hyunjin said with a smirk. “Usually he can’t keep his hands off me.”

The three of them immediately made disgusted groans and rolled their eyes, already done with Hyunjin’s crap. Hyunjin laughed at that, for some reason feeling a bit victorious.

That victorious feeling only intensified when he glanced at Jisung and saw the look of confusion, shock, and a bit of hurt on his face. Once again, Hyunjin almost fell for it. He almost gave Jisung an apologetic look.

But that was drowned out by the sudden surge in satisfaction in Hyunjin, who just smirked at Jisung and looked away. Let Jisung have a taste of his own medicine.

At some point Changbin dragged Seungmin away to go play beer pong with BamBam, and Felix, while Jeongin watched with wide eyes (he wasn’t allowed to drink). Chan stood up to steal the armchair Changbin had previously been sitting in, leaving the other half of the couch for anyone to steal.

And of course Jisung of all people sat down with Choa.

“Hi, Hyunjin!” Choa said with a bright smile, which Hyunjin returned. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Hyunjin said. “How’s the journalism thing going? Weren’t you doing some projects with Seungmin?”

Choa’s face lit up at that. “Oh my gosh, it’s been great! We post them online in addition to printing them in the newspaper, and the comments have been so positive! Seungmin’s photos really help—have you seen any of them?”

“A few,” Hyunjin said. “I don’t remember which ones he showed me but all of Seungmin’s photos are good, so…” He shrugged.

“They’re so great,” Choa agreed.

Hyunjin nodded, and Jisung took that moment to say, “Hyunjin used to be into photography too.”

Hyunjin frowned at him, but Choa said, “Really? We could always use another photographer!”

“Oh, no, I don’t really take photos anymore,” Hyunjin said, shaking his head and giving a little laugh.

“Other than selfies,” Jisung said. “You used to take so many selfies. That’s all your entire camera roll was.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help flushing at that, but then Minho’s voice said, “What’s wrong with that?”

Hyunjin glanced up right as Minho walked over and sat on his lap, catching him momentarily off-guard. He covered up his shock by automatically wrapping his arms around Minho’s waist, and Minho put his arm around Hyunjin’s shoulders like it was the easiest thing in the world. Meanwhile, Minho looked Jisung right in the eye, as if daring him to comment on it.

Jisung was staring, his mouth hanging open, his eyes wide, but then Choa gasped and said, “Oh my gosh, are you two a thing now?”

“No, he just likes to use me as a chair because he’s gay and can’t sit like a normal person,” Hyunjin said.

“He’s kidding,” Chan said.

“That’s so cute!” Choa grinned. “Wow, you guys look like a rich power couple right off the runway.”

“Hyunjin _is_ a model,” Minho said, tilting his head to one side as he played with Hyunjin’s hair.

Hyunjin almost frowned, wondering where the hell Minho had heard that, since Hyunjin had definitely never told him. While all the other models he worked with never shied away from telling anyone and everyone what they did for a living, Hyunjin always felt like it was something to be ashamed of. He could have a job that required skill and talent, and yet instead he got a job based only on the fact that he happened to be gifted with perfect features.

At least Minho had a sculpture-like appearance and could dance like no one else Hyunjin knew.

“Wait, Hyunjin, you model?” Choa asked.

_Oh no,_ Hyunjin thought.

“You should totally apply for this fashion show at school!” Choa said. “One of my friends is apart of it and she said they always need models.”

“Um—”

“She might even pay you, or you could get credit for it, I don’t know.” Choa shrugged. “But it’ll be fun!”

“Minho’s pretty too—he could model,” Hyunjin blurted.

Minho arched an eyebrow at that, but when Choa turned her wide, hopeful eyes on him, he shrugged, looking indifferent. “Sure.”

“Oh my _god_ you guys are gonna model together!” Choa grinned and bounced up and down in excitement. “Total power couple!”

Minho just smirked at that, while Hyunjin was already starting to regret his decision.

Jisung, for once, was silent and never tried to contribute to the conversation.

Eventually he and Choa drifted off to either go get more booze or go watch the beer pong tournament. By then, Chan had already left to go make sure no one was puking, which left Hyunjin and Minho alone. Minho shifted so he was sitting sideways on Hyunjin’s lap and stretched out his legs across the couch. He smirked down at Hyunjin.

“Was that it?” Hyunjin asked. “The big reveal?”

“I guess,” Minho said.

“It didn’t seem as show-stopping as I thought it would be.”

Minho rolled his eyes. “It’s difficult to make something show-stopping when I couldn’t sweep you off your feet and kiss you when I dip you.”

“That would be pretty show-stopping. But I think you got the point across to Jisung.”

Minho’s smirk turned somewhat devilish. “Did you _see_ the look on his face? _Priceless_.”

“So worth it,” Hyunjin agreed. “Even worth putting up with everyone’s pointed looks and questions.”

“Eventually we’ll become old news,” Minho said. “Did you know that Changbin already cornered me and asked me what the hell I was doing?”

Hyunjin’s eyebrows shot upwards. “Do you think he suspects something? Oh my god, what if he figures it out that quickly? That means everyone else’ll figure it out really quickly too!”

“Chill,” Minho said. “He thinks you’re just another one of my one-night stands. He told me to be careful because you’re ‘sensitive.’” He made air-quotes with his fingers. “Then Seungmin told me, quite seriously, that he’ll kill me if I hurt you.”

“Yeah, he’s not joking about that. Sometimes he scares the shit out of me when I accidentally eat his leftovers and he says he’ll kill me. I don’t even know how I’m still alive.”

“Well, clearly, he has a soft spot for you.” Minho sighed. “Then _Chan_ made sure I knew what I was doing and that I don't do anything stupid, and Felix just seemed hella confused. So, basically, everyone’s for you and against me.”

“I’ll be for you,” Hyunjin said.

“Aw, sweet.” Minho smirked as he tilted his head to one side, running a finger down the side of Hyunjin’s face. “But no. I know what I’m doing. They don’t scare me.”

“But if you’re gonna break up with me…they’re gonna be really pissed at you.”

Minho snorted and rolled his eyes again. “Trust me, they’re already placing bets on how long we can last. They think we’ll drive each other crazy and that we’ll self-destruct in about a month, right before Christmas.”

“A month,” Hyunjin repeated.

“Apparently we don’t have enough in common and will clash too much to last as a couple,” Minho said.

“Makes me almost want to prove them wrong.”

“We will. They just won’t know _how_ we proved them wrong.”

Hyunjin nodded. “So…what’s our next move?”

“Public appearances,” Minho said. “I’ll meet you outside some of your classes this week and then maybe we can go get dinner a couple of times or something.” He rolled his eyes again.

“Okay,” Hyunjin said, hating how his heart leapt at the thought of someone waiting for him after class. Jisung never did that.

“So, send me your schedule.”

“Okay.”

“Also—” Minho pulled out his phone and swiped to the camera app. “Gotta pay attention to detail. It’d be weird if we never took or posted any pictures together.”

Hyunjin nodded as Minho leaned in closer to take a selfie. He took a few, where he changed his expression a couple times, while Hyunjin kept the same smile for all of them. Minho seemed satisfied as he swiped through them, and Hyunjin peeked over his arm at his screen.

“You’ll send those to me, right?” Hyunjin said.

“Sure,” Minho said. “They look good.” He clicked on the best one and showed Hyunjin.

They did look good, unfortunately. Much better than Hyunjin and Jisung. Almost as good as Jisung and Minho.

“We look like two off-duty models cozying up at some big-shot’s party,” Hyunjin said with a grin.

“I mean, is that really so far from the truth?” Minho snorted, mussed up Hyunjin’s hair, and moved to get up. “Alright. I came, I flirted, I’m leaving.”

“Already?” Hyunjin asked, unable to keep his heart from sinking.

Minho looked at him like he was crazy. “Uh, yeah? We got to Jisung. We confused the hell out of everyone else. I’m smuggling a bottle into my jacket and leaving.”

Hyunjin didn’t know why he felt so disappointed. Maybe he just didn’t know what else he was supposed to do at this party.

If Minho saw the disappointment on his face, he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he said, “Send me your schedule.” Then he walked away, already scrolling through his phone like Hyunjin was never there in the first place.

And once again, Hyunjin didn’t know what he expected when it came to Minho.

* * *

Minho, as promised, was waiting for Hyunjin after one of Hyunjin’s night classes the following week. However, this was Hyunjin’s last class before the weekend. He had thought Minho would be waiting for him after every single other class that week, only to feel his heart sink in disappointment every time when Minho wasn’t there. This led to Hyunjin cursing at himself and wondering why the hell he was so hopeful in the first place, especially when he knew that this was just an act and that it didn’t mean anything.

For this very last class, which ended at seven-thirty on a Thursday night, Hyunjin was too exhausted to think about if Minho would finally be there after this one. He was already thinking about all the things he had to do over the weekend and how he probably wouldn’t have as much time as usual due to the fact that he had a photoshoot all of Saturday. That meant he would have to do most of his homework tomorrow, since he didn’t have classes on Friday.

Hyunjin was so lost in his depressing plans that he didn’t see Minho until Minho was literally right in front of him. Hyunjin jumped in surprise, going wide-eyed. “Minho! Hi!”

“Hi,” Minho said, arching an eyebrow.

Hyunjin wasn’t sure what to say, so he ended up just staring at Minho and regretted it. He had always thought Minho was attractive, but tonight Minho was on another level. He was wearing tight black pants, a black leather jacket, and a white v-neck shirt, and his hair was parted off to the side . And was that a bit of eyeliner, too?

Hyunjin blinked, already feeling it in his chest.

“Are you hungry?” Minho asked.

Hyunjin nodded.

“Cool. I’m hungry for ramen. Let’s go.” Then, with that, Minho turned sharply on his heel and didn’t even wait to check if Hyunjin was following him. Hyunjin fell in-step beside him, suddenly self-conscious of his old, white hoodie, ripped jeans, beat-up Converse, and bare face. He was lucky he had brushed his hair before coming to class, since he had meant to only take a thirty-minute nap and ended up taking a two-hour one and had almost missed his class completely. He had been yawning all throughout class, and yet now he was wide awake.

As they walked out of the building and into the parking lot, they didn’t speak. Hyunjin wasn’t sure what to talk about. The only topics he could think of were Jisung, Minho’s ankle, and what others thought about their fake relationship. And at this point, they had talked those topics to death, since they weren’t very extensive to begin with.

Hyunjin was a bit surprised that Minho had a car, since public transportation was widely available, but that didn’t mean he was complaining. It was a tiny black thing with leather seats _and_ was completely clean on the inside. It even smelled good, too, like Minho’s cologne.

Minho turned on the radio and let the music fill the silence as he looked up the location to the ramen place on his phone, then turned on the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Hyunjin didn’t know what to do, so he looked out the window, even though he wanted to sneak glances at Minho. He supposed he would have all of dinner to do that.

After about five minutes, Minho cleared his throat. “So,” he said. “How was class?”

“Good,” Hyunjin said, refraining from saying too much because he knew Minho was just asking to be polite.

“What class was it?”

“Cultural anthropology.”

Minho arched an eyebrow at that. “That sounds…fun.”

“It’s just the study of different cultures,” Hyunjin said. “I took it as an elective but I really like it.”

“What’s your major again?”

Hyunjin sighed. “Communication. Basic, I know, but I didn’t know what else to do. Modeling isn’t exactly a major.”

“Well, sometimes it’s better not to turn your passions into careers,” Minho said.

Hyunjin couldn’t help snorting at that. “Modeling is _not_ my passion. It’s just something to help pay the bills.”

“Really?” Minho glanced at him, looking genuinely surprised. “I thought you did it because you liked it.”

“No,” Hyunjin said quietly.

“Oh.” Once again, they fell into silence, one much more painfully awkward than before. Hyunjin then remembered that he hadn’t told Seungmin he was going out and quickly pulled out his phone to text him.

By the time Seungmin responded, Minho was pulling up along the side of the street into a parking space in front of the ramen place. They got out and went into the restaurant, not even speaking as the waitress seated them in a booth by the front windows.

As Hyunjin looked over the different bowls on the menu, he felt Minho watching him. After a beat or so, Minho asked, “Is something wrong?”

“What?” Hyunjin looked up. “No, why would something be wrong?”

Minho was frowning at him as he searched his face intently. “You just seem kind of…quiet.”

“I’m tired,” Hyunjin said, which wasn’t untrue. “I promise I’ll be more talkative when I get some food in me, too.”

“Okay.” Minho nodded, though he still looked unconvinced.

“How was your day?” Hyunjin decided to ask.

Minho shrugged as he looked down at the menu. “It was alright.”

“Did you have any fun classes?”

“Just an astronomy lecture.”

“Astronomy is fun. It kind of hurts my head, though. Like, to think about how massive the universe is? Kinda makes you feel really, really small and insignificant.”

“On the contrary,” Minho said, closing his menu, “if you really are that small and insignificant, then what does it matter what you do? You can do whatever you want. The universe doesn’t care. It’s liberating.”

“Or crushing,” Hyunjin said. “Nothing you’ll ever do will have a lasting effect compared to the rest of existence.”

Minho shrugged again. “Nothing anyone else does will have a lasting effect compared to the rest of the universe either.”

“Except for the scientists of Voyager,” Hyunjin said. “Like, the Golden Record? That’s a lasting effect. Or the footprints on the moon.”

“A meteor will come along one day and knock those footprints right off the moon,” Minho said. “Same with the Voyagers. They’ll deteriorate into nothing one day too or get hit by an asteroid.”

Hyunjin blinked at that. The waitress came over to take their order, and after she left, Minho asked, “Are you having an existential crisis right now?”

“A little bit,” Hyunjin admitted.

Minho laughed, surprising Hyunjin. “Good,” Minho said, his eyes still sparkling with amusement. “It keeps you growing.”

“Maybe for you, but for me it just makes me lose all motivation and curl up into a little ball to wait for death.”

“Eh, you’ll get over it.” Minho sipped at his drink.

“Because the universe doesn’t care if I do or not?” Hyunjin gave him a look.

“Exactly. Do what you want.”

“Well, actually, I live in a tiny little spec of the universe that happens to care immensely about every single thing I do, so I can’t, unfortunately, do anything I want.”

“Who says?”

“Um, the government? Laws? Other people? Societal norms?”

Minho snorted at that.

“Take us, for example,” Hyunjin said. “Within five seconds of you pretending to be a little bit closer to me than usual, everyone freaked out.”

“That’s because they’re idiots with nothing better to freak out about.”

“Yeah, but maybe we can’t do whatever we want because what we do affects everyone else.”

“Maybe you’re just too scared to do what you want.” Minho crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at Hyunjin. “You’re so worried about what other people think about you that you limit yourself.”

“If I cared what people thought about me, then I wouldn’t have agreed to fake-date you.”

Minho snorted. “The whole _point_ you agreed to fake-date me was because you cared about what Jisung would think about you dating his other ex. So, nice try, but no.”

Hyunjin didn’t know what else to say, though he knew that he didn’t want to let Minho have the last word. But Minho already knew that he had won, because he smirked at Hyunjin when Hyunjin scrambled to find an adequate comeback and couldn’t after about ten seconds.

“Just answer me this,” Minho said. “If you could do anything with your life, what would you do?”

“Go to college for free and not spend the rest of my life in a boring nine-to-five job paying off my debt.”

“Okay, good, but that’s pretty basic. I mean, what’s something only Hwang Hyunjin could do?”

“Why does it matter?” Hyunjin scoffed. “It’s not liberating for me to think that nothing I do will have a lasting effect—it’s debilitating. Besides, why do you care?”

Minho just looked unimpressed. “You don’t have any kind of dream whatsoever, do you?”

“Do you?” Hyunjin fired back.

“Yes, actually. I want to be a professional dancer. It’s something that gets me out of bed in the morning and makes me look forward to the day, because every time I practice, I know I’m one step closer to making that dream a reality.”

Hyunjin blinked, unprepared to get such a candid response out of Minho.

Minho raised his eyebrows at him. “So, what’s yours?”

At that moment, the waitress came over with their food and placed two steaming bowls in front of them. Hyunjin’s stomach growled at the appetizing smell, and he said, “To eat anything I want all day and not get fat.”

Minho snorted, and Hyunjin smirked, since he was kind of serious about that.

“You said anything,” Hyunjin pointed out.

“You’re right, I did. I was thinking more of like…an occupation or an accomplishment.”

“Food critic, then.”

Minho was watching him, but Hyunjin focused only on his food. He knew he was just deflecting every question and covering up his insecurities with bad attempts at humor, but he and Minho weren’t on that level to discuss all of Hyunjin’s deepest, darkest desires anyways. And Hyunjin highly doubted they ever would.

Minho eventually shrugged and went back to his food. “Alright, then.”

The conversation died off after that, and other than Minho stopping Hyunjin so they could take a selfie of their “date” for social media, they spent the rest of dinner mostly in silence, with Hyunjin only making vague attempts at small talk here and there.

The ride back was completely silent, and Minho didn’t even put the car in park as he dropped Hyunjin off at the front of his building. He sped off the moment after Hyunjin shut the door.

* * *

Hyunjin, quite honestly, forgot about Minho as the weekend progressed. Stress from homework on Friday and the photoshoot on Saturday took all of his energy, and by the time he dragged himself home, he was about ready to drop. Seungmin mentioned something about Changbin getting some horror video game that he wanted to play with them, to which Hyunjin just gave a vague grunt before stumbling off to his room.

He didn’t even take a shower that night or wipe off the makeup from the photoshoot. He just fell face-first onto his bed and fell asleep instantly.

Sundays were for sleeping and last-minute homework assignments. Hyunjin slept until eleven, felt sick from sleeping so late, and could barely focus throughout the rest of the day as he did only the bare minimum of his assignments.

Seungmin knocked on his door and poked his head in, where Hyunjin sat at his desk, rubbing his eyes while a blank Word document glared at him on his laptop. “Need a break?” Seungmin asked.

“No, I’m fine, I just need to finish this,” Hyunjin said, still rubbing his eyes.

“You need a break,” Seungmin decided. “Changbin’s coming over. We’re gonna order pizza and play that new horror game of his.”

“Right now?” Hyunjin dropped his hands from his eyes and looked up.

“In an hour or so,” Seungmin said. “It’s better if we play it when it’s dark out. So, that gives you until then to finish whatever you need to finish, because as soon as Changbin gets here, I’m dragging you out into the living room.” He gave Hyunjin a sweet smile.

Hyunjin smirked back. “Wow, the great, studious Kim Seungmin is telling _me_, slacker, C-average student Hwang Hyunjin to stop doing homework and to have fun? What is this?”

“I know, what a crazy world we live in.” Seungmin rolled his eyes. “A world where Hwang Hyunjin dates Lee Minho willingly.”

Hyunjin’s smile fell at that, and he quickly looked back at his laptop.

“You gonna invite him?”

“What?”

“Invite him over,” Seungmin said like it was obvious. “He’s your boyfriend—don’t you wanna hang out with him and do something fun?”

Hyunjin blinked, then opened his mouth with the excuse that he and Minho didn’t really hang out that often yet since they hadn’t been together that long, but then he remembered his lie about how they had been secretly dating for several weeks already. So he forced a smile and said, “He’s probably busy right now. I don’t want to bug him.”

“Do it, coward,” Seungmin said, walking back into the living room. “The worst he can say is no.”

Hyunjin stared at the doorway even after Seungmin walked away. He didn’t necessarily _not_ want Minho there, but he wasn’t sure if he was in the mood to act all romantic all evening. He kind of wanted to just shove pizza in his face and pass out around ten.

Well…that was if he could even sleep after watching anything that had any sort of horror element to it.

But he knew Seungmin was incredibly gifted at figuring things out incredibly quickly. If he wanted to keep Seungmin in the dark about what was actually going on, he had to act like this was just any other one of Hyunjin’s relationships.

Which meant hanging out with Minho at any chance he got. And unfortunately, in the past, Hyunjin had invited Jisung over in almost the exact same scenario, because Hyunjin wanted someone to hug and comfort him when he became too freaked out from the game. It had kind of turned out to be a disaster, since Jisung had thought it was amusing to watch Hyunjin freak out (even though Jisung scared just as easily).

Hyunjin groaned, thinking Minho was going to be even more cruel than Jisung in this scenario. But he picked up his phone and sent Minho a text anyways.

Minho responded a few minutes later, saying he would be over in thirty minutes. He also asked if Hyunjin had any booze at their apartment.

**Hyunjin:**

Um, no, we’re underage, we can’t buy alcohol.

**Minho:**

Lame.

I’m bringing some.

Do u want vodka

**Hyunjin:**

No, I’m not drinking.

**Minho:**

Again. Lame.

Fiiiine I guess I’ll just drink a whole bottle by myself.

**Hyunjin:**

Pls don’t.

Bc then you have to stay the night bc I don’t trust your drunk ass to get home safely.

**Minho:**

Unlike you, I’m a functional drunk

**Hyunjin:**

That’s not how being drunk works

**Minho:**

Fine I’ll bring soda or something

What kind do u want

**Hyunjin:**

Don’t care

**Minho:**

Laaaaame

Hyunjin didn’t respond to that, since he still needed to take a shower before Minho came over. He briefly considered putting on a bit of makeup to make himself look a little less like a corpse but decided against it. This was his apartment—he was just going to be comfy.

Besides, he’d probably cry all of that makeup off if this game really was as scary as they had heard it was.

Minho showed up looking like the exact opposite of what he had looked like on Thursday night. Instead of looking like some bad-boy heartthrob, he wore a worn-out hoodie, a beanie, and a pair of sweatpants.

And yet somehow he still managed to look like some sort of off-duty model, which Hyunjin thought was a bit unfair considering he was the actual model in this scenario.

“What,” Minho said when Hyunjin just stared at him.

“Someone looks comfortable,” Hyunjin said.

“Fuck off, I just came from practice.”

Hyunjin wrinkled his nose. “Oh, yay, does that mean you smell like you just came from practice too?”

“No, I took a shower before coming,” Minho said, stepping out his shoes as he moved inside. Hyunjin shut the door behind him. “You’re just disappointed because I still look better than you.”

Hyunjin made a _pfft _noise at that and looked away, refusing to admit that he found Minho attractive even when he was wearing worn-out, baggy clothes.

“You guys have a really weird way of flirting,” Seungmin said from the couch.

“It’s not flirting, it’s called putting Hyunjin in his place,” Minho said, then smirked at Hyunjin, who blinked, wondering if Minho was referring to what Hyunjin though he was.

Seungmin made a face, confirming that Minho _was_ referring to what Hyunjin thought he was.

Minho winked at Hyunjin, that flirty smirk still on his face as he walked over to the couch and collapsed onto it with a sigh.

“Wow, make yourself comfortable,” Hyunjin said, walking in after him.

Minho just patted the spot next to him. Hyunjin sat down, but apparently not close enough, because Minho tugged at his sleeve until he scooted near enough for Minho to put his arms around him. Hyunjin rested his head on Minho’s shoulder, discovering that Minho really did not, in fact, smell like he had just come from dance practice. He smelled like the same cologne as always.

“So, what horror game did Changbin get?” Minho asked.

“Some indie game that he’s always wanted to play,” Seungmin said without looking up from his book. “Apparently it’s really scary, so Hyunjin’s gonna be sleeping with me for a week.”

“Wow, you’re just gonna steal my boyfriend like that, huh?”

Seungmin snorted. “If you want to sleep over for a week just so I can get some sleep, that’s fine with me.”

“I mean, I can think of a few things we could do to make sure Hyunjin sleeps well.” Minho smirked again, and Hyunjin elbowed him in the side. Minho jumped at that, knocking his shoulder into Hyunjin’s cheekbone and making Hyunjin let out a cry out of shock.

“Hey, don’t give me a bruise on my face!” Hyunjin complained, moving away and rubbing his cheek.

“Don’t poke me!” Minho shot back.

“Oh come on, I barely touched you.”

Minho raised his eyebrows. “Fine, if you just _barely touched _me—” He jammed his finger into Hyunjin’s side, making Hyunjin let out a shriek as he jerked away to the other side of the couch, right into Seungmin. Seungmin just let out a long-suffering sigh as Minho continued to tickle Hyunjin in the stomach and Hyunjin kept shrieking.

“Stop,” Hyunjin said in between laughs. “Stop, seriously, stop!”

Minho did stop, only to poke Hyunjin one more time in the side before he withdrew to his own side of the couch. Hyunjin stayed where he was, moving only to put his head in Seungmin’s lap and stretch out his long legs so his feet were in Minho’s lap.

Minho looked down at his feet, then looked up, a devilish look on his face.

“Oh no,” Hyunjin said, realizing his fatal mistake too late. Minho started tickling his feet right away, and this time Hyunjin jerked so violently to get away that he almost kicked Minho in the face. Minho leaned back at the last possible second and was so shocked from it that he gave Hyunjin a wide-eyed look that mirrored the look on Hyunjin’s face. The two of them stared at each other for a few moments before a giggle bubbled out of Hyunjin’s chest, and then Minho was laughing too, and Seungmin was rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t know how this was possible, but you two are worse than Hyunjin and Jisung,” he said with a sigh, shaking his head as he closed his book.

Hyunjin forced himself to keep a smile on his face even as his heart throbbed painfully. Seungmin didn’t notice the flicker in his expression due to the fact that someone knocked at their front door, but Minho did. His eyes softened as he held out his arm to Hyunjin. Hyunjin sat up and tucked himself back into Minho’s side as Changbin walked through the door.

“Oh, good, someone to hold Hyunjin when he cries so we don’t have to,” Changbin said with a grin. He jerked his chin in Minho’s direction, which Minho returned. “What’s up?”

“I was bribed with free food and sex,” Minho explained, already moving to intercept Hyunjin’s hand as he tried to poke him in the side again.

Changbin rolled his eyes. “Gross. Didn’t need to know that, Minho.”

“I know.” Minho flashed him a sweet, sarcastic smile.

“What kind of pizza do you guys want?” Seungmin asked.

“Ham and pineapple!” Hyunjin exclaimed, sitting bolt-upright.

Changbin made a face at that. “No, do pepperoni and green pepper or garbage pizza or something.”

“Minho?” Seungmin looked at him.

Minho shrugged, looking indifferent as he propped his head up on the armrest of the couch. “I’m fine with eating anything.”

“Thank you for not making another sex joke out of that,” Changbin said.

Minho fluttered his eyelashes at him. “Would you like to make one for me?”

“I’ll just order one of each,” Seungmin muttered, putting his phone to his ear.

“Hey, Hyunjin, aren’t you gonna do anything about your boyfriend flirting with anything that _moves_?” Changbin went over to the game console to start loading the game.

“You clearly underestimate my ability to control him,” Hyunjin retorted.

“Calm down, it’s just flirting,” Minho said with a smirk at Changbin.

“Like I would even be able to stop him from sleeping around, though,” Hyunjin added with a snort, and Minho’s smirk vanished from his face as he shot him a look. Hyunjin just arched an eyebrow in response, still smirking. “What? You’re basically a fuckboi. And fuckbois aren’t exactly known for being faithful.”

“You know you could totally pass as a fuckboi too, right?” Changbin looked at Hyunjin, unamused.

Hyunjin just smirked at that, and Changbin finished setting up. While Changbin and Seungmin focused on settling onto the couch and launching the game, Hyunjin glanced at Minho, who wasn’t looking at him. Hyunjin’s smirk faded when he saw the darkness in Minho’s expression.

“Hey,” Hyunjin said softly, nudging Minho in the arm.

Minho shot him another look that made Hyunjin shrink away. Minho stared him down for a few seconds before rolling his eyes. He didn’t say anything, but he still kept up appearances by pretending to cuddle with Hyunjin. Only Hyunjin was aware of how stiff Minho had become.

When the pizza came, Hyunjin got up so Minho wouldn’t have to. He put a slice of the ham and pineapple and a slice of whatever monstrosity Changbin got (it looked like it had every single topping known to man on it) on a plate, then put three slices of the ham and pineapple on a plate for himself. He carried both back to Minho, and Seungmin turned off the light in the kitchen before sitting down on the couch, where Changbin was already starting the game.

“Okay, Hyunjin, you can’t scream that much,” Changbin said as the first scene loaded. “You have neighbors, remember?”

Hyunjin scoffed at that. “I don’t scream _that_ loud.”

“Yes you do,” Changbin and Seungmin said at the same time.

“Okay, well, I’ll just fall asleep, then,” Hyunjin said.

Changbin snorted. “Minho missed another opportunity for a sex joke.”

“Sorry, can only focus on one thing,” Minho said through a mouthful of pizza.

“What even is this one about?” Seungmin asked.

“Uhhh…I think you play as some dumbass reporter who goes to this insane asylum in the mountains that’s supposed to be haunted or something.” Changbin clicked through the loading screens.

“Seems legit,” Minho said.

Hyunjin couldn’t help whimpering as the game began, which was just Changbin walking through the snow towards an ominous-looking building.

“Something just moved in the window,” Seungmin said.

Hyunjin glanced at the building just in time to see something vaguely humanoid move away from the window. He shrank into the couch.

“Are those a bunch of abandoned military vehicles?” Minho asked.

“They are indeed,” Changbin said as he walked past them. “Okay, we have to figure out how to get inside…”

The first few minutes of the game weren’t as bad as Hyunjin thought they would be. It was mostly just exposition, where Changbin’s character had to move throughout the asylum and collect background information and documents without ever really seeing any of the patients. Hyunjin had finished his three slices and was tempted to get a fourth, but he was getting to the point where he was even too scared to get up. So he just held onto his plate, his entire body tensed as he waited for a jump-scare.

The first jump-scare was completely out of the blue. It got even Changbin, who flinched, and Minho jumped a little. Seungmin just blinked.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, screamed.

“This isn’t even getting scary yet!” Changbin said, laughing at Hyunjin.

“I don’t like it, I don’t like it,” Hyunjin said, curling in on himself. He clutched his plate so tightly that he was sure he was going to shatter it.

Minho snorted and pried the plate out of Hyunjin’s hands. He set it on the end-table on top of his before pulling Hyunjin towards him again. Hyunjin shamelessly curled up on Minho’s lap, fastening his arms around Minho’s torso. He felt somewhat better when Minho wrapped his arms around him protectively.

Twenty-minutes into the game, things started to get scary. Really scary.

“DON’T GO IN THERE!” Hyunjin shouted at Changbin.

“I HAVE TO, I HAVE TO GET THE DAMN KEY!” Changbin yelled back, frantically controlling the character on the screen.

“GET THE KEY!” Seungmin exclaimed, more annoyed at Changbin’s sloppy playing than anything.

“He’s coming back, he’s coming back, HE’S COMING BACK!” Hyunjin shrieked, automatically curling into Minho like Minho would protect him.

Changbin managed to get the key, only to turn around to find the insane, deformed murderer right there in front of him. Both Hyunjin and Minho screamed as the murderer killed Changbin’s character for the third time in a row.

Changbin made a move as though to throw the controller, and Seungmin reached out for it, making a grabby motion.

“Give it to me, give it to me,” Seungmin said.

“Oh, like you can do any better,” Changbin retorted, but he handed the controller over anyways.

Seungmin could, in fact, do better. He played with a blank, determined expression, not even flinching as he dodged insane murderers here and there, all to the soundtrack of Changbin, Hyunjin, and Minho screaming incomprehensible orders or just screaming in terror.

Seungmin snorted and gave Changbin a smug smirk as he obtained the key, unlocked the next section of the asylum, and made it to the next saving point. “And that’s how it’s done, son,” he said.

“Shut up, I’m older than you,” Changbin said.

Seungmin smiled at that and leaned forward to look at Hyunjin. “How are you doing, Hyunjin?”

“Fine,” Hyunjin replied in a small voice, though he was practically wrapped around Minho at this point and was shaking. His heart was pounding in his chest, he was on the verge of tears from hyperventilating, and he was definitely sure he wasn’t going to be sleeping tonight.

But, on the upside, Minho had screamed just as much as him and was hugging Hyunjin back just as tightly. They were pressed close enough that Hyunjin could feel Minho’s heart pounding through his chest. This was already significantly better than playing scary video games with Jisung.

_But this isn’t even real,_ Hyunjin reminded himself, feeling his heart sink.

“Should we keep going?” Seungmin asked.

“Only if you want to kiss any chance of Hyunjin sleeping at all in the next week goodbye,” Changbin said with a smirk.

“Sleeping pills,” Seungmin retorted.

“Alcohol,” Minho said.

“I hate all of you,” Hyunjin said.

Changbin smirked. “On the bright side, you get to cuddle with your boyfriend without us gagging at you!”

“Yeah, did you know when you agreed to date Hyunjin that he would probably end up strangling you to death from his clinginess?” Seungmin arched an eyebrow.

“What a way to go,” Minho said with a smile, making Hyunjin look at him in surprise. “I always knew I’d be murdered.”

“Gee, I wonder why.” Hyunjin scowled at him.

“I can and will shove you off my lap.”

“Please, please, please?” Seungmin said.

“No, don’t, because then he’ll start whining and my ears already hurt,” Changbin said.

“Hey, you were screaming too!” Hyunjin said.

“Huh? What? What did you say?” Changbin cupped his hand around his ear. “I can’t hear you.”

Hyunjin twisted around in Minho’s lap just to kick Changbin, making Changbin laugh.

They played for another half-hour before not even Seungmin could get past this one part with some sort of particularly intelligent and terrifying priest. They called it quits, and Changbin and Seungmin got up to go put the pizza and dishes away.

It wasn’t even that late by normal standards, but Hyunjin had an early class tomorrow, and he knew Minho had one as well. He glanced up at him and unwrapped himself, automatically avoiding Minho’s gaze.

“That went well,” Hyunjin said quietly so Changbin and Seungmin couldn’t hear, though the two of them were having a particularly noisy, playful argument in the kitchen.

“Yep.” Minho gave a stiff smile.

“I’ll pay you back,” Hyunjin said.

Minho’s brow furrowed. “What for?”

“Well, technically Jisung isn’t here, so…”

Minho shrugged. “I didn’t have anything better to do tonight. Besides, it was fun.”

Hyunjin felt his heart lift a little at that, though he didn’t understand why. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Minho gave a small smile. “And, y’know, we have to fool everyone else, too, not just Jisung, so it was still part of the original plan.” He shrugged again.

“Oh,” Hyunjin said. “Right.”

Minho pulled out his phone, seeing a series of notifications clogging up his lock screen. He started scrolling through them, then said absent-mindedly to Hyunjin, “I should probably go. Got an early start tomorrow.”

“Right.” Hyunjin glanced over at Changbin and Seungmin. Changbin had his back to him, but Seungmin was facing Hyunjin as he talked to Changbin. Hyunjin looked back at Minho, feeling his face flush at what he was about to ask. “You should probably give me a kiss on the cheek or something, otherwise it’s gonna look weird.”

Minho glanced up from his phone. Then he planted a kiss on Hyunjin’s cheek without another thought. “See you,” he said, standing up.

Hyunjin heard Minho bid Changbin and Seungmin a goodnight, followed by the sound of the door opening and closing. Then Minho was gone.

* * *

The next week, Hyunjin was walking home from his class when he heard someone calling his name. He jumped, not used to anyone calling to him on-campus, and turned around. He felt even more confused when he saw Choa smiling and waving at him.

“Choa?” Hyunjin blinked at her as she approached.

“That’s me! Hi!” She laughed. “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

“Uh…” Hyunjin glanced around, like Jisung would jump out of the bushes and tackle him to the ground for talking to his girlfriend. “I guess?”

“Awesome, let’s go to the cafe!” Choa smiled and gestured for him to follow. “It’s on me.”

Hyunjin blinked again, but then followed her. He couldn’t help being completely stiff, tensing every single time Choa moved towards him unconsciously, even by reaching up to adjust the straps of her backpack or just happening to sway towards him as they walked.

“What class did you just come from?” Choa asked in a lighthearted tone as they walked.

“Advertising,” Hyunjin replied.

“Oh, that’s cool! It sounds useful. Do you like it?”

Hyunjin nodded. It was one of the classes for his major, and he actually enjoyed it quite a lot. It fascinated him to learn about how much time, money, and strategy went into advertising, or how many ads each person was exposed to each day. He thought he could see himself going into advertising one day.

“I just came from psychology,” Choa explained. “It’s so fascinating but it’s a lot of reading.” She laughed again, and Hyunjin found himself smiling.

They reached the cafe, and Hyunjin scanned the area, looking for anyone he knew, specifically Jisung or Minho. He honestly didn’t know what he would do if either of them saw him talking to Choa alone.

They each ordered a drink, then sat across from each other on a set of couches by the window.

“So…you wanted to talk about something…?” Hyunjin couldn’t help being nervous.

“Yes!” Choa smiled as she nodded. “You remember that fashion show I mentioned to you at that party a few weeks ago?” When Hyunjin nodded, she continued, “Well, I think you should really consider doing it, because apparently a couple of scouts are going to be there. You could be recruited by a big modeling agency and that would really launch your career!”

Hyunjin now forced a smile and tried to look interested. “Oh, really?”

Choa nodded again. “Crazy, right? You’d never expect _college_ kids to have connections, but apparently someone in the program knows some big shots and sometimes that’s all the connections you really need to get into a huge, successful agency.”

“Yeah, connections are everything,” Hyunjin said, looking down at his drink as an excuse to look somewhere other than Choa.

“You could tell Minho, too!” Choa continued, only to frown. “That’s not weird, right? Does that put a strain on your relationship? I know the modeling industry can get pretty competitive sometimes.”

Hyunjin shook his head. “No, he doesn’t really care about those kinds of things. He’s a dancer.”

“Modeling agencies recruit dancers all the time to do photoshoots,” Choa pointed out. “Anyways, I thought I’d just let you know. Make sure you apply!”

“Okay.” Hyunjin smiled. “Where can I get an application?”

“Just down at the performing arts building. They’re in a folder right outside the director’s door. Here, I’ll give you my number so you can text me if you have any questions.” She held out her hand, and Hyunjin didn’t know what to do other than to unlock his phone and hand it over. She smiled when she saw his wallpaper, which was the selfie he and Minho had taken the night of the party.

“You guys are so cute,” Choa said.

“So are you and Jisung,” Hyunjin said, then instantly regretted it.

Choa blushed. “He’s pretty great, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he is.” Hyunjin cringed at himself.

“I tried to get him to do the fashion show too, because he’s seriously _pretty_. Plus he has the build for it, even though he’s a bit on the shorter side.” Choa laughed as she typed in her contact info. “I’m actually a few centimeters taller than him, if you can believe it.”

“Just wait until you wear heels,” Hyunjin said.

“He could totally wear heels too, I mean, he’s awesome like that.” Choa’s eyes sparkled. She handed back Hyunjin’s phone.

Hyunjin smiled at her out of instinct, and Choa smiled back, holding his gaze.

“Choa?”

The sound of a painfully familiar voice reached them, and Hyunjin’s blood turned to ice. He felt his stomach plummet to the center of the earth as he looked to see Jisung standing there, staring directly at him with a dark expression.

“Hi, babe!” Choa said, oblivious to what this situation looked like. “Did you just get out of class?”

“Yeah.” Jisung stepped towards her and let her take his hand and squeeze it as she smiled up at him. His eyes were still on Hyunjin, though, who felt like shriveling up into a husk and passing away right in that moment.

“I was just telling Hyunjin about the fashion show,” Choa said. “I think he should do it since _someone_ won’t do it.” She tugged at Jisung’s arm playfully, and it was enough to make Jisung look away from Hyunjin.

“Fashion shows aren’t my thing, babe,” Jisung said, smirking at her in a way that he used to smirk at Hyunjin. When he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, Hyunjin looked away, now beginning to feel physically nauseous.

His phone vibrated and kept vibrating, causing him to look down at it. Felix was calling, which was unusual, but at this point, Hyunjin would take any opportunity to get out of this god-awful situation.

“Sorry, gotta go,” Hyunjin said to Choa, giving her an apologetic look that he hoped Jisung hadn’t misinterpreted. He made it worse by saying, “Nice talking to you.”

“Text me if you need anything!” Choa said with a smile.

Jisung turned to glare at Hyunjin. Hyunjin practically bolted away from them, answering and putting his phone to his ear in the same movement.

“Oh my _god_ you have the perfect timing,” Hyunjin told Felix. “I just ran into Jisung and Choa and I’m pretty sure Jisung is gonna murder me after that.”

“Hyunjin,” Felix said on the other end, his voice sounding more serious than usual.

“If I disappear tonight and don’t turn up for a while, I’m either going into hiding to avoid Jisung or he actually succeeded in murdering me and getting rid of the body,” Hyunjin continued, his face flushing as he walked out of the cafe and back into the cool, winter air.

“_Hyunjin_,” Felix said again, and his tone made Hyunjin stop.

“What?” Hyunjin frowned. “Is something wrong? Did something happen?”

“You should come over to Minho’s,” Felix said. “We’re heading home from the Urgent Care right now.”

“Hold on, what? Urgent Care? What happened?”

“He sprained his ankle today at practice.” There was a beat before Felix added, “It’s pretty bad.”

Hyunjin was back to feeling like his stomach was bottoming out. “Oh my god. Oh my god, is he okay?”

Felix sighed. “Yeah, he’s just—” There was another voice in the background that could only be Minho’s, and Felix pulled away from the phone to fire back some scathing remark. He came back to the phone sounding incredibly annoyed. “He’s unfortunately being _Minho_.”

Hyunjin honestly didn’t know what that meant.

“I just thought you would want to know and I hate to dump him on you but…nah, I’m happy to dump him on you. He’s being a pain in the _ass_!”

_Great_, Hyunjin thought to himself. To Felix, he said, “Tell him I’ll be over in a few minutes. I’m just leaving campus.”

“Hurry, or else we’re gonna have more injuries to take care of.”

Hyunjin snorted at that. “I guess Jisung’s gonna kill me and Minho is gonna kill you?”

“Or I’m gonna kill Minho because he’s being a little _bitch_!” Felix raised his voice near the end, and Hyunjin heard Minho say in the background, _Oh fuck off, Felix._

Despite the situation, Hyunjin smirked. “Okay, I’ll be over soon. Hang in there.”

“Yeah, no promises. See you soon.” Felix hung up.

Hyunjin first headed to the convenience store to buy some ice cream, though he wasn’t entirely sure what kind was Minho’s favorite. He decided to get a tub of Neapolitan ice cream for Minho and a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough for himself, then grabbed some sodas on the way out as well. After paying, Minho sent him a text.

**Minho:**

Don’t come.

Hyunjin frowned down at that and didn’t respond, thinking it would be too weird if he didn’t come and check on his fake-boyfriend. They had to keep up appearances, after all.

Hyunjin had actually never been to Minho’s apartment, but he had Minho’s address. It turned out to be a few streets away from Hyunjin and Seungmin’s apartment. He found the apartment easily and knocked on the door, hoping Felix hadn’t already been murdered.

Felix opened the door, looking annoyed but instantly sighing with relief when he saw Hyunjin. “Oh, thank god,” Felix said. “I gotta run, so text me if you need anything, like bleach to get the blood stains out. Actually, text Seungmin for that. Anyways, good luck, bye!” Then he slipped out the door and shut it behind him, leaving Hyunjin standing in the foyer of the apartment with a dropped jaw. Minho couldn’t be _that_ bad, could he?

“I told you not to come,” Minho scoffed from the living room as Hyunjin slipped off his shoes and came inside. He was sitting length-wise on the couch, his right foot wrapped, covered with an ice pack, and propped up on a couple pillows. Minho scowled so intensely when he saw Hyunjin that it almost rivaled the look Jisung gave Hyunjin earlier.

“I know,” Hyunjin said. “But I had to.”

“I don’t need your help, so just go.” Minho made a shooing motion. “Shoo. Leave me alone.”

“I’m not going to do that,” Hyunjin said. At this point he was just playing with fire as he walked close enough to be within Minho’s reach, but he didn’t think Minho would actually do anything to hurt him. He lifted the plastic grocery bag in his hand. “I even brought you ice cream.”

“I don’t want it,” Minho said.

“You sure? I got chocolate and vanilla and strawberry. And chocolate chip cookie dough, but that one’s mine.”

Minho reached up to press his fingers into his closed eyelids. “God, you are so fucking dense.” He dropped his hands from his eyes to glare up at Hyunjin. “Go. _Away_.”

“No,” Hyunjin said. “You’re hurt. Let me help.”

“I already said I don’t need your fucking help.”

“Did they give you pain meds?”

“No, they gave me a pat on the head and said ‘suck it up’—_yes_, they fucking gave me pain meds!”

“You don’t have to be so rude,” Hyunjin said, shooting Minho a look before walking into the kitchen. He pulled out the tubs of ice cream and started opening drawers to find the silverware drawer. Once he found it, he grabbed two spoons and headed back to Minho with them. He sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch, where Minho was glaring up at the ceiling. Hyunjin stuck a spoon in the Neopolitan ice cream and held it out to Minho.

“I’m gonna shove that in your face if you don’t get it out of mine,” Minho snarled.

Hyunjin shrugged and set it on the coffee table next to him. “Suit yourself. Ice cream makes everything better.”

“You’re so dumb sometimes I honestly wonder how you can even converse with people.” Minho shot him a glare. “There’s no making this better, _Hyunjin._ Ice cream can’t magically heal my ankle and make it better. _Ice cream_ doesn’t get me onto the dance team. Do you understand? Can you get it through your thick skull that I won’t be on the dance team for the third fucking year in a row? That I can kiss my dream of being a professional dancer goodbye if I don’t find some sort of success soon? Or does thinking too much hurt your pretty face?”

Hyunjin stared at him, not even trying to cover up the hurt on his face.

“Wait, my bad.” Minho held up a hand. “You weren’t designed to think too much about things. Sorry, I forgot you’re just some air-headed model.”

Hyunjin could feel the tears welling up behind his eyes, but he knew that crying wouldn’t help anything in this situation. Instead, he looked away, swallowing hard to dispel the lump in his throat.

“You’re giving me a headache from looking at you, so just leave.” Minho crossed his arms as he glared up at the ceiling.

Hyunjin hesitated for a few seconds too long, and Minho turned to shoot him another glare. That got Hyunjin to move. He grabbed the ice cream and went back to the kitchen, where he put it in the freezer. After a moment of consideration, he started rummaging though the cabinets again until he found what he needed. He walked back to the couch and set a glass of water with a bendy straw in it on the coffee table. Minho glanced at him, still scowling, as Hyunjin moved away, keeping his gaze lowered. Minho didn’t say another word to him as Hyunjin shoved his shoes on and walked out the door.

The moment Hyunjin got back to his own apartment and shut himself in his room, he broke down into tears.

* * *

“How’s Minho?” Seungmin asked Hyunjin a few days later at dinner. It was a Friday night and they had ordered Chinese takeout since neither of them felt like cooking anything. They were planning on watching a movie together on the couch while they ate. “I heard he really hurt his ankle.”

Hyunjin didn’t look at him as he stabbed at his kung pao chicken. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Seungmin frowned as he lowered his box of chow mein. “How do you not know?”

“We haven’t been talking lately.” This wasn’t a lie. Hyunjin hadn’t texted Minho since that day at Minho’s apartment, and of course Minho hadn’t texted him. Minho’s harsh words still stung whenever Hyunjin thought about him, and he was beginning to think that this fake-dating thing wasn’t really worth it in the end.

To make things worse, Choa had texted him about getting an application for the fashion show, and Jisung had stopped ghosting Hyunjin just to text him and to tell him to back off. Hyunjin had never replied to either of them. He just didn’t have the energy.

“Did you guys fight?” Seungmin asked.

Hyunjin nodded, still not strong enough to repeat what Minho had said to him.

“I’m sorry,” Seungmin said, and he seemed genuine. “I’m sure you’ll get through it. And…if you don’t…honestly, I don’t think you would really be losing much.”

Hyunjin snorted at that. “Yeah, I know. You guys don’t think Minho and I work well together.”

“You don’t,” Seungmin said. “You’re complete opposites. You’re friendly and kinda shy, and he’s rude and overly confident. You care about doing well in school, he just cares about dancing. You’re a nice person, he’s not. You care about people, he just cares about himself. There’s a mismatch. Not to mention how he doesn’t like to be tied down by anyone and prefers to sleep around.”

“He’s not all that bad,” Hyunjin said, still staring down at his food and moving it around without eating any of it. “He doesn’t act like that when it’s just the two of us.”

Though, after their fight, Hyunjin wasn’t sure he believed that anymore. He had always thought that Minho wasn’t a shitty person and that his reputation was just focused on painting him in the worst light. But now, he wasn’t so sure. He liked to believe that Minho had just been lashing out because he was stressed and in-pain, but maybe he had really been showing his true colors. Maybe he really was who people had said he was all along.

Seungmin sighed. “I’m worried he’s manipulative and verbally and emotionally abusive. To be honest, I think Jisung dodged a bullet getting out of that relationship. And I think you really should call it quits before things get worse.”

When Hyunjin didn’t say anything, Seungmin added softly, “I just don’t want to see you get hurt again, Hyunjin. You won’t get what you’re looking for out of Minho. He’s just not that kind of person.”

“I want him to be,” Hyunjin whispered.

“I know.” Seungmin set his food on the coffee table and scooted over to put an arm around Hyunjin’s shoulders. “But being in a relationship doesn’t do anything to your own worth. You’re not worth more when you’re in one, and you’re definitely not worth less when you’re single. You shouldn’t let a relationship define who you are. You shouldn’t be afraid of being independent. And if you think being in a relationship is the only way you’ll be loved, you’re wrong.”

Hyunjin nodded, then sniffed as tears threatened again. He hated how emotional he was all the time. He hated a lot of things about himself, but this was what he hated the most in that moment.

Seungmin didn’t say anything as he pulled Hyunjin into a hug. Hyunjin automatically leaned into him, finally releasing a breath he had been holding for god knows how long. It lessened the tension in his chest for the time being.

For the rest of the night, he hugged Seungmin, and Seungmin hugged him back, and Hyunjin felt the slightest bit whole again, even if it was only temporary.

* * *

Hyunjin’s fight with Minho lasted a full week. It was actually torture, not texting Minho as much as he used to. Granted, Minho didn’t text much anyways, but he always sent Hyunjin at least one text each day to check in on him. The once-a-day text used to drive Hyunjin crazy, since he was the kind of person who loved to constantly text people, but after the weeks passed, he got used to it. Now, though, both he and Minho had gone completely silent.

And even though their relationship was fake, Hyunjin liked to think that he and Minho had actually started to become friends. Apparently he was too hopeful about that, too. Of course Minho didn’t care about him. Those once-a-day texts were just to make the whole thing seem more believable. They had clashing personalities, like Seungmin had said; they would never be able to be close like Hyunjin wished they could be.

He was on his way to the performing arts building to turn in the application for the fashion show. It was late, later than Hyunjin was ever on-campus, but he had forgotten to fill out and turn in the application earlier that day when he was on-campus for his class, which was why he had had to go back to the apartment, fill it out, and bring it back. He had meant to do it right away, only to fall asleep for a three-hour nap, wake up, panic, and rush back to campus to turn it in.

He really didn’t even know why he was doing this. Maybe it was because he was too soft to say no. Maybe it was because he wanted Choa to like him, and he didn’t want to see the disappointment or confusion on her face when she asked him why he didn’t do it.

Once, Seungmin had said that Hyunjin was too much of a pushover, and Hyunjin was reminded of that every single day.

As he headed for the front doors of the performing arts building, someone else was walking out. Hyunjin lowered his head, prepared to walk past without even making eye-contact, when he recognized who it was.

He stopped, and Minho stopped too, though Hyunjin couldn’t help noticing how he shifted his weight away from his right leg, which was still wrapped in a brace.

For a moment, they just looked at each other. Then Minho said, “Hyunjin.”

“Minho,” Hyunjin replied.

“We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.” Hyunjin looked away and tried to walk past him, but Minho moved in front of him, still as fast as ever even with his injured ankle. And yet, Hyunjin wouldn’t look him in the eye. He gave a little huff before saying, “Excuse me.”

“We need to talk,” Minho repeated.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Hyunjin said. That was a lie. He always wanted to talk to Minho, mostly because he was so curious about him and rarely got clear answers about his personal life out of him.

“Then don’t,” Minho said. “Just listen.”

Hyunjin paused at that and finally glanced up at Minho. He didn’t look as angry and unapproachable as he did when Hyunjin last saw him; instead, he looked uncharacteristically sad and exhausted. There was a trace of pain in his eyes too, but Hyunjin knew that had to deal with his injured ankle.

Hyunjin sighed and glance down at the application in his hands. “Fine. But I have to turn this in, first.”

Minho nodded. “Okay. Meet you out here when you’re done?”

Hyunjin nodded, and Minho moved out of the way to let Hyunjin pass. Hyunjin managed not to run into the building, though he felt Minho’s eyes on him until he rounded a corner and lost the front doors from view. Briefly, he considered going out another door and avoiding Minho altogether, but he would feel too guilty for hurting Minho like that, even if Minho hadn’t thought twice about hurting Hyunjin. So, once he turned in the application, he went back down through the front doors, where Minho was sitting on one of the benches, waiting for him.

Minho stood when Hyunjin came out. Hyunjin stopped a few feet away and shrugged. “So,” he said.

“Could we talk somewhere else?” Minho asked. “Maybe the cafe or something?”

“Not the cafe,” Hyunjin said. He had been avoiding that area like the plague for the past week, too terrified that he’d run into Jisung or Choa there.

Minho nodded, then grimaced as he shifted his weight again.

“Do you need to ice your ankle?” Hyunjin asked.

Minho hesitated before nodding again.

“We can just go back to your apartment, then.” Hyunjin shrugged again.

Minho looked unsure about that, but said, “Alright.”

They started walking to the parking lot by the building, towards Minho’s car. Minho kept grimacing from the pain, making Hyunjin finally ask, “Can you even drive with your foot?”

“Yeah,” Minho said. “For short distances like this. It’s better than walking.”

“Why didn’t you just have Changbin or Felix drive you or something?” Hyunjin slid into the passenger seat, and Minho got behind the wheel.

“I don’t want their help,” Minho said as he started the car.

Right. That was the whole reason they were in this situation to begin with—Minho being too proud and stubborn to ask for help. And Hyunjin being all too willing to help, which resulted in Minho inevitably lashing out at him.

They didn’t speak as Minho drove to the apartment, or when they got out and walked to the elevator. Once inside the apartment, Hyunjin couldn’t help stiffening. He really didn’t want to be here.

Minho went to the freezer to grab an ice pack, turned around, and stopped when he saw that Hyunjin hadn’t moved at all from the foyer. “You can sit down,” Minho said, gesturing to the couch.

Hyunjin hesitated a beat too long, and Minho seemed to understand.

“I want to apologize,” he said.

Hyunjin looked away.

“Can you please sit down? I promise I won’t talk too long. You don’t even have to take off your shoes.”

After another beat of hesitation, Hyunjin moved towards the couch. Minho only had one long sectional couch, so Hyunjin sat on the end closest to the door. Minho sat down on the other end, though he didn’t stretch out his leg at all to ice his ankle. Instead, he just stared down at the ice pack in his hand, like he was searching for the right words.

When neither of them said anything for a few minutes, Hyunjin couldn’t take the silence anymore and gave in.

“How’s your ankle?” he asked.

“Better,” Minho said. “Still hurts, though.”

“Can you walk on it?”

“A little. Not for long periods of time.”

Hyunjin wanted to ask, _When can you dance again?_ But he kept his mouth shut.

Minho broke the silence this time. “I’m sorry.”

Hyunjin shrugged.

“You were just trying to help,” Minho said. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

_That’s_ what he thought he should apologize for? A rare surge of anger flared up in Hyunjin, but he quickly clamped it down. Maybe Minho really didn’t understand how hurtful his words were. Or maybe he did and he just didn’t care.

Or maybe Hyunjin was just being too sensitive. Minho was apologizing. Hyunjin should just accept it and not make this situation worse by dragging it out. Sometimes he should only take what he could get.

“It’s fine,” he said. “You were just stressed and in pain.”

“That doesn’t excuse me taking it out on you, though,” Minho said.

“Then just don’t do it again.”

“I won’t.”

And yet Hyunjin couldn’t help thinking that Minho would do it again, and Hyunjin would still forgive him.

“I should go,” Hyunjin said, standing.

Minho stood as well. “Let me walk you home.”

“No,” Hyunjin said, and Minho stopped. Hyunjin shook his head. “I don’t want you to hurt your ankle more.”

Minho scowled. “I’m not completely disabled.”

And there was the side that Hyunjin was afraid was the true side of Minho. He must have shown it on his face, because Minho’s expression immediately softened. Before Minho could say something, though, Hyunjin said, “I’m fine walking by myself. It’s not far.”

“I know, I just want to walk you,” Minho said.

“Why? We’re not friends, Minho. And no one else is around. We don’t have to pretend to like each other right now.” Hyunjin shook his head. “We don’t even have to pretend while we’re around people anymore. It’s not worth it.”

Minho frowned at that. “What?”

“This whole fake relationship.” Hyunjin gestured between the two of them. “I don’t think it’s worth it anymore. We should just end it now and tell everyone else that we broke up. We don’t have to tell them the truth. Now would be a good time anyways because Seungmin already knows that we’re fighting.”

“Did you tell him that?”

“Yes.”

Minho blinked and looked away. “Oh.”

“We _were_ fighting,” Hyunjin said. “What else would you call that?”

Minho shook his head. “You’re right.”

“I’ll just tell Seungmin that we broke up. We don’t even have to make a huge scene in front of everyone.”

“Can I just ask why?” Minho’s eyes flicked up to meet his. “Why don’t you think it’s worth it anymore?”

Now it was Hyunjin who looked away. “I just don’t see the point of it anymore.”

Minho had hurt him and hadn’t even realized it. That’s why Hyunjin didn’t think this was worth it anymore. No one was supposed to get hurt in this scenario—that’s why they had agreed to do it.

But Hyunjin was just too damned sensitive and it was his fault he was in this mess anyways.

“Okay,” Minho said. He looked like he was going to say something else, but once again Hyunjin beat him to it.

“I hope your ankle feels better,” he said. “And I hope you get to dance again soon.”

Minho gave a brief, small smile. “Thanks.”

Hyunjin waited to see if Minho would say anything else, but when he didn’t, Hyunjin turned and walked out the door. His heart was still heavy when he walked home, but he ignored it as the ever-present voice in the back of his head said, _What did you expect when it came to Lee Minho?_

The voice was right. Hyunjin should have never expected anything from him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 wooooo  
a bit longer than part 1 but not by that much...

Another week passed. Hyunjin didn’t speak to or about Minho. Seungmin never asked. He probably figured it out anyways, especially when Hyunjin changed the background on his phone.

Two weeks passed. The fashion show was that Friday. Hyunjin met the other models. Most of them were girls, but that was okay. They flirted with him a little bit, but when he didn’t flirt back, they eventually stopped. They never asked if he was single. They just assumed. And Hyunjin never told them otherwise.

Once, Hyunjin saw Minho on-campus. Both of them ignored each other. But at least Minho didn’t cross the street in an effort to get away from Hyunjin.

The fashion show came and went. The only person who asked about Minho, ironically, was Choa. Hyunjin just said that Minho was busy and couldn’t come and changed the subject.

After the show, the other models invited Hyunjin out to go clubbing with them, not knowing that Hyunjin was nineteen and couldn’t drink. Hyunjin’s first instinct was to decline, since he was exhausted from pretending that he was fine all night and just wanted to go home and pass out on his bed. But the other models were fun, and honestly, he could use a night out. So he went along.

He was allowed into the club after receiving two massive X’s on the back of his hands. It was still considered early for a Friday night, but the club was already packed. The music wasn’t the best, but it still had a danceable beat, and one of the other models named Momo dragged Hyunjin onto the floor with her, laughing and telling him to loosen up a little.

“Just have fun! It won’t kill you!” she said with a grin.

Hyunjin smiled back and decided to go with it.

He did have fun. He was able to forget how broken he was for a few hours.

But when the night came to an end, most of the other models had already left, and Hyunjin came back from the bathroom to find that Momo had left with another girl. Which was fine, except now Hyunjin was alone in a club that he had never heard of before tonight and it was well past midnight and he had no idea how to get back home.

Before he could panic too much to the point where he couldn’t think clearly, he called Seungmin. When it went straight to voicemail, Hyunjin still didn’t panic. He was probably asleep right now. So he called Changbin. Changbin didn’t answer either. That was unusual.

Now Hyunjin was starting to panic a little more.

He called Felix. Felix didn’t answer. He was probably playing video games with his headphones on and couldn’t hear his phone ringing.

Hyunjin quickly thought of anyone else he could call. Jisung was out of the question. Chan would still be awake, but as Hyunjin went to dial his number, he remembered that Chan was out of town this weekend due to some family thing.

Now Hyunjin was full-on panicking. And when he started full-on panicking, he, of course, started to cry and hyperventilate and not think clearly. This was the last place he wanted to have a mental breakdown in.

He forced himself to take a deep breath and to call Seungmin again. It went to voicemail again. He called Changbin again. Still no answer. Felix? Nothing.

As he brought his phone down from his ear, he noticed that he was on three percent low-battery. That ruled out trying to get an Uber or call a taxi. His phone wouldn’t be alive long enough to carry out either of those.

He probably had enough battery life for one more phone call, but no one else was picking up.

He found himself clicking on Minho’s contact but hesitating. How desperate was he to get out of here? Was there any other possible way to get home? Obviously there was, since people survived situations like these way back before the invention of cell phones, but Hyunjin was clueless. And he was panicking and exhausted and wasn’t thinking clearly.

When his phone went down to two percent, he forced himself to dial Minho’s number. The entire time the phone rang, Hyunjin was shaking. He almost wished Minho wouldn’t answer, but then he really didn’t know what he would do after that.

When the phone kept ringing, Hyunjin started to pull the phone from his ear, thinking he should use his lingering battery power to call Chan and ask him to call a cab for him. Then it stopped ringing, and a voice said, “Hello?”

“Minho?” Hyunjin quickly put the phone back to his ear.

“Yeah?” Minho said, as if he wasn’t sure if he should be talking to Hyunjin right now.

Hyunjin almost lost all self control by crying with relief. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you but no one else is answering and I’m stuck at this club and my phone’s about to die and everyone I came with already left and I don’t know where I am or what to do and I just really need your help right now—”

“Slow down, slow down,” Minho said, though his tone had changed from disconnected to concerned. “Where are you, Hyunjin?”

“I don’t know, it’s some club I’ve never been to before.”

“You don’t remember the name?”

Hyunjin frantically thought back to the ride over, trying to remember what the club looked like on the outside, but his mind was blank. “I don’t know.”

“Okay, do you remember what was nearby?”

“No…it was dark out when we came but I know it’s a more LGBT-friendly club and I think I saw a sign about drag shows one night or something? I don’t know, I’m panicking.” Hyunjin thought as hard as he could think but only remembered blurry signs and a neon sign nearby with a green martini or something. He remembered only because he thought it looked like some James Bond thing. “Wait, I think there was some neon sign with a green martini nearby?” He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration. “That probably doesn’t help.”

“Okay. Okay,” Minho said. “Just stay calm, don’t talk to anyone, and don’t leave the—”

Suddenly he cut off, and Hyunjin said, “Minho?” Then he looked at his phone, only to gasp when he saw that it was finally dead. “No, no, no, no—”

Stupid. He was so stupid. How did he _not_ know the name of the club he was in? And how did he expect anyone else to find him if he didn’t even know where he was?

At this point, he could probably just walk home from here. He could walk until he found a street he recognized, then hopefully hop on a bus that would take him closer to his apartment. He felt sick to his stomach with fear at the thought of walking alone late at night, but what other choice did he really have?

He thought about Minho. What had Minho been trying to say before Hyunjin’s phone died? Not to leave the club? Until what? Was Minho coming to get him? But how could he when he didn’t know where Hyunjin was other than he was in some gay club that had drag shows? Wasn’t that literally every gay club around?

He supposed he could ask the bartender if they had any phones he could borrow. But Hyunjin didn’t know anyone’s phone number by heart.

This situation was getting worse and worse by the minute.

Not knowing what else to do but sit and try to calm down so he could take this one step at a time with a level head, he made a loop around the club to find any kind of empty seat. He avoided everyone’s eyes as he went, feeling several pairs of eyes on him as he passed. He was painfully aware of how he was still wearing the makeup from the fashion show, which wasn’t anything crazy, but it didn’t exactly downplay his features. He was terrified that someone would come up to him.

He ended up by the bar, and when the bartender gave him a weird look, Hyunjin explained, “I’m waiting for a friend.”

The bartender just arched an eyebrow before going back to serving the other customers.

Hyunjin glanced back at the club, accidentally making eye-contact with a few people and immediately looking away. When one guy started making his way towards Hyunjin, Hyunjin thought he was going to have a heart attack.

Before the guy could reach him, though, someone else stepped in Hyunjin’s line of sight. Hyunjin blinked, then almost cried again when he recognized him. “Minho?”

“Are you okay?” Minho’s face was flushed and his brows were knitted with concern. He gripped Hyunjin’s shoulders and stared straight into his eyes.

Hyunjin nodded, so relieved that he was finally getting out of this that he couldn’t speak. Minho must have seen it on his face, because his eyes softened with relief too.

“Come on,” he said, dropping his hands from Hyunjin’s shoulders. His hand brushed Hyunjin’s, and Hyunjin grabbed it without really thinking. Minho proceeded to tug him along by that hand through the throngs of people and finally towards the door.

When the cool night air hit him, it was instant bliss, like Hyunjin had been drowning and had finally clawed his way up to the surface again. Minho squeezed his hand before releasing it as his car came into view, crookedly parked in front of one of the meters on the side of the street. The moment they got inside, Minho turned on him.

“Did you drink anything?” he demanded. “Did anyone try to give you a free drink? Or did you leave your drink unattended at some point?”

Hyunjin shook his head and raised his hands to show the black X’s as if that explained everything.

Minho exhaled in relief, though he was still staring Hyunjin down. Hyunjin stared back, noticing how Minho looked more dressed up than usual. For one thing, he was wearing tight, black leather pants with an expensive button-up shirt tucked into it, paired with silver earrings and a bit of makeup too.

“How’d you know where I was?” Hyunjin asked, trying not to stare at Minho’s collarbones visible from the top few buttons that were loosened.

Minho sighed and looked straight ahead. “I’ve ‘been around,’ I guess.” He glanced back at Hyunjin as he pulled out of the parking space. “You’re lucky I was nearby.”

“Why were you nearby?”

“Because some of us have _needs_, Hyunjin.” Minho snorted and shook his head before mumbling, “And I ditched a really good one to come save your ass.”

Hyunjin frowned. “You were with someone?”

“Kinda. We were on our way out when you called.”

Hyunjin blinked and stared down at his hands, the guilt overwhelming him. Minho glanced at him again.

“I’m kidding,” Minho said. “Don’t hesitate to call me again, okay? I don’t care who or what I’m doing—I’ll come get you.”

“I’m really sorry,” Hyunjin said in a small voice.

“No, don’t apologize. This wasn’t your fault.”

“No one else was answering and I was panicking and then my phone died and I had no idea what to do,” Hyunjin said. Once again the tears were welling up, and he really just wanted to go one interaction with Minho where he wasn’t on the verge of tears.

“It’s okay,” Minho said. He reached over to squeeze Hyunjin’s thigh. “You did good.”

Hyunjin exhaled, still actively trying to fight back the tears. He looked down at Minho’s hand, then made a split-second decision. He removed Minho’s hand from his thigh and slipped his hand in it instead. Minho didn’t even hesitate from lacing their fingers together, and Hyunjin felt a little bit safer.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Minho asked.

Hyunjin nodded, thinking he wanted nothing more than to just curl up in his bed. _With Minho_, a voice said in the back of his head, and he quickly shoved it away.

“Okay.” Minho hesitated for a beat before asking, “Mind if we make a quick stop on the way?”

Hyunjin shrugged.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes.”

Hyunjin didn’t say anything as he leaned back in the seat, suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion. His head was throbbing and his ears were ringing, but at least his heart wasn’t pounding out of his chest anymore. He felt safe, and that meant that all the adrenaline was draining from his system.

It seemed like he had barely shut his eyes before Minho was gently shaking his shoulder.

“Hey,” Minho murmured. “We’re at your apartment.”

“I just wanna sleep,” Hyunjin mumbled, already closing his eyes again.

“I know, but you can’t sleep in my car, you idiot.” Hyunjin blamed his exhausted state, because he could have sworn he heard an overwhelming amount of fondness in Minho’s voice.

Hyunjin mumbled something unintelligible and tried to fall asleep again. Once again, Minho shoved his shoulder, and Hyunjin moved to smack him. He heard Minho laugh softly before saying, “Fine.”

Hyunjin didn’t know what that meant, but he didn’t care. He just slipped back into the dream where he curled up next to Minho, and Minho wrapped his arms around him, and Hyunjin wished he would never wake up.

* * *

Hyunjin woke up disoriented. When he first opened his eyes, he thought he was in his bed in his room in his apartment. But one side of his bed was pushed up against the wall, AKA the side that Hyunjin was on currently. And instead of seeing his wall, he saw another half of a room that definitely wasn’t his. He panicked and sat up, only to sigh in relief when he realized he was still fully-clothed. He didn’t remember going home with anyone last night. Well, except for Minho. But Minho said he was taking him home. He didn’t remember ever reaching his apartment, though; he just remembered falling asleep in Minho’s car, holding Minho’s hand, and listening to Minho laugh.

He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and looked around the rest of the room, noticing how the sheets on the other side of the bed were pulled back. The smell of something cooking floated in through the closed door, and Hyunjin’s stomach growled. He got up and shuffled to the door.

Minho was standing at the stove, cooking eggs. He looked up when Hyunjin entered the kitchen and smiled. “Morning.”

“Morning,” Hyunjin said, blinking and wondering if he was still dreaming.

“How do you like your eggs?”

“Uh…however you make them.” Hyunjin shrugged. He didn’t usually eat breakfast. He usually didn’t wake up early enough for that.

Minho nodded and went back to cooking.

“What happened last night…?” Hyunjin was almost too afraid of the answer.

“Nothing,” Minho said. “You tried smacking me whenever I tried to get you out of my car. So I ended up just picking you up and bringing you home with me.” He glanced up. “Sorry about your head.”

Hyunjin blinked again and frowned as his hand automatically went to his head, expecting to feel a bump or something. But then Minho grinned, and Hyunjin gave him a look.

“Kidding, I’m not that careless.” Minho turned around with the pan of eggs and focused on depositing them on two plates. He then turned off the stove and set the plates on the table, where there were already dishes with fresh fruit and bacon. “Do you drink coffee?”

Hyunjin shook his head, slowly approaching the table. He was painfully aware of what a mess he was—messy hair, smeared makeup, wrinkled clothes. Meanwhile, Minho looked like he had just showered and wore a black t-shirt with grey sweatpants. Even with his bare face, Hyunjin thought Minho was still one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen.

Minho looked at him and smiled, causing Hyunjin to panic and quickly look away. They ate quietly for a few minutes, the silence a tangible, suffocating thing.

Hyunjin cleared his throat and said, “Thank you for—”

At the same time, Minho said, “I’m sorry if I—”

They both stopped and blinked at each other. Then they both gave painfully awkward laughs before Minho said, “You go.”

“No, no, you can go,” Hyunjin said.

“No, really. You first.”

Hyunjin felt like they would just go back and forth like this for awhile, so he nodded and said, “I don’t think I ever thanked you for saving my ass last night. And for making breakfast. And for letting me stay over. So…thank you.”

“Oh.” Minho looked surprised. “You don’t have to thank me. I wanted to do this.”

“Really?”

Minho nodded, then looked away, almost shyly. He looked like a completely different person, Hyunjin thought. He didn’t think he had ever seen Minho look _shy_. That was Hyunjin’s thing. “I was going to apologize, actually, in case I overstepped. I know you wanted to go home last night and instead I brought you here…I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Hyunjin said quickly. “If anything, I’m sorry about ruining your night last night.”

Minho snorted and smirked at him. “For the last time, Hyunjin, you didn’t ruin my night.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin couldn’t help shrinking down a bit, and Minho snorted again.

“Cute,” Minho murmured, mostly to himself, before looking away.

Hyunjin felt his face flush at that while a warmth flooded his chest. He smiled a bit to himself as he chewed on a piece of bacon.

Another beat of silence passed before Minho said, “Wasn’t that fashion show Choa was trying to get you to do last night?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you go to it?”

“I was in it.”

“Oh.” Minho looked surprised.

“Yeah, it was okay.” Hyunjin shrugged. “There were some scouts for this huge modeling agency there.”

Minho didn’t look at him as he said, “And…?”

“They gave me their card.”

Minho glanced up, like he was gauging how to react to that. Hyunjin just pressed his lips together in a thin line.

“I should probably call them, I guess,” Hyunjin said.

“Do you want to?”

“Apparently they pay well and can get people into huge photoshoots for fashion magazines.”

“But do you want to do that, Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin paused before shaking his head. “No.”

“Then don’t do it,” Minho said.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why not?”

“I…” Hyunjin scrambled for a reasonable response and ended up going with, “I’m a broke college student. I need money.”

“There are better ways to get money, Hyunjin.” Minho gave him a look.

Hyunjin smirked. “You’re right.” He nodded and looked back at his food. “Prostitution.”

Minho let out a short laugh. “No, wrong answer!”

“Selling my organs on the black market.”

Minho was smiling now, but he still said, “_No_.”

“Getting a sugar daddy?” Hyunjin raised his eyebrows.

Minho paused as though he was considering that one, and Hyunjin laughed. Minho laughed too, but was still shaking his head. “No. Just get a job like a normal person!”

“Technically modeling is my job,” Hyunjin pointed out.

Minho sighed. “No, I mean, like…working for the school newspaper or something.”

“Like what Choa and Seungmin do.”

“Choa even mentioned that they need a photographer.”

Hyunjin’s smile faded as he shook his head. “No, that’s Seungmin’s thing, not mine. I’ve always been in front of the camera.”

“But you don’t want to be.”

Hyunjin decided to change the subject. “Is your ankle healed?”

“Hyunjin.”

“It didn’t look like you were limping last night.”

Minho didn’t say anything right away, and Hyunjin glanced up at him. He was looking at him with a frown, but eventually he sighed and said, “It’s healed, yeah. I was able to go back to dance a few days ago.”

“That’s great!” Hyunjin looked up.

“Yeah.” The light in Minho’s eyes dimmed a bit.

“It’s not great…?”

Minho shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

“Is it because you didn’t make the team?” Hyunjin asked it softly, afraid that Minho would lash out at him again. He didn’t even notice he was leaning away from Minho until Minho glanced at him, and his brow furrowed.

“Yeah,” Minho said quietly. “It’s because I didn’t make the team.”

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin said.

Minho shrugged. “Maybe I’m just not meant to be a dancer.”

“Don’t say that. You’ll get there. It was just bad timing.”

Minho snorted at that. “Everything is always bad timing with me.”

“Not last night,” Hyunjin said. “That was perfect timing. You’ve always had perfect timing with me.”

Minho thought for a moment, then smirked to himself, his eyes distant. “Like that time that car drenched you.”

Hyunjin cringed. “Bad example, Minho. Bad example.”

“You looked so sad,” Minho said with a grin, but then that faded as he added softly, “You always look so sad. Or, you always look sad when you think no one’s looking. But I’m looking. I always see how sad you are.”

“Maybe I’m just a sad person,” Hyunjin said as a poor attempt at a joke.

“Maybe.” Minho was studying him now, like he could see everything that Hyunjin shoved in the back of his mind as a way to avoid it. Those were the darkest areas of Hyunjin’s mind, areas that Hyunjin never wanted to go.

He glanced at the digital clock on the stove, then cursed at the time. “I should probably get going.” He started to get up.

“Why? It’s a Saturday.” Minho blinked up at him.

“Well…” Hyunjin faltered, not wanting to admit that he would love to spend the day with Minho, but knew that that would just inevitably make this entire situation more painful in the end. He needed to cut the ties between them again, like they had done for a solid two weeks.

“Never mind.” Minho shook his head. “You probably just want to be in your own home now, right?” He smiled, but it looked forced.

“I want…” Hyunjin trailed off, and Minho looked at him with a bit of resigned hope. Hyunjin sighed. “I want a shower.”

Minho laughed, and the tension in the room dissolved. “You can take a shower here if you want.”

Hyunjin nodded and smiled a little. Minho smiled back as he stood up to clear the dishes. “You can borrow some clean clothes too,” Minho said.

“Will they fit me, though…?” Hyunjin frowned.

Minho arched an eyebrow at him.

“I’m taller than you, you know,” Hyunjin said.

“Not by _much_,” Minho retorted. When Hyunjin just grinned at him, he rolled his eyes. “Pick any clothes you want. I don’t care.”

“Ooh, in that case, I’m totally choosing the most outrageous and expensive looking clothes.”

“Bold of you to assume that any of my clothes are actually expensive and not bought from thrift stores.”

“Maybe I’ll steal the leather pants you were wearing last night,” Hyunjin said, sticking his tongue out at Minho.

“Oh, so you noticed?” Minho smirked at him in amusement.

Hyunjin immediately flushed. “No.”

“Were you staring, Hyunjin?” Now Minho was arching an eyebrow at him, and Hyunjin was growing more and more flustered.

“_Pfft_, no. I only noticed because I was thinking about how good they’d look on _me_.”

“Everything looks good on you.”

Hyunjin didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just managed a weak, “What?”

“What?” Minho’s eyes widened like he had just realized what he had said.

“Um—” Hyunjin gave an awkward laugh, his face feeling like it was on fire. “I should probably go shower.”

“Yeah, I should, uh, probably clean up,” Minho said, looking down at the table. Hyunjin could see the pink spreading across his cheeks as well, and it made his chest hurt from how cute it was. He loved how Minho could go from drop-dead gorgeous to unbelievably cute within a few seconds.

_Jisung was like that too, _a voice said in the back of Hyunjin’s mind, making him wince. He quickly went back to Minho’s room and pulled out the first pair of sweatpants and the first t-shirt he saw. Then he ducked into the bathroom.

He took a little bit too long of a shower, mostly because he stood there under the warm spray, rubbing at his eyes, for a solid five minutes. When he came out dressed in Minho’s clothes, his eyes fell on his phone by the bedside table, plugged into a charger. Hyunjin blinked, not remembering plugging it in last night. He picked it up and was immediately bombarded with texts from Seungmin, Changbin, and Felix. Seungmin had tried calling him four times and had left five text messages, Changbin had called him three times, and Felix had just left him a single text, asking if Hyunjin had meant to call him.

Hyunjin felt bad about making his friends freak out over him, but he also couldn’t get rid of the warm swell of his heart, letting him know that his friends really did care about him.

He texted Seungmin, explaining that he was fine and that he had spent the night at Minho’s.

Seungmin responded almost immediately.

**Seungmin:**

First of all, glad you’re safe.

Second, FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME WORRY

Third, thought you and Minho broke up???

**Hyunjin_:_**

Lol lol I’m sorry

Didn’t mean to freak you out

Love you booooo

**Seungmin:**

Fuck off

Love you too tho

Sometimes.

Also—Minho???

**Hyunjin:**

I called him and asked him to come get me

Which he did

And then I just spent the night as his place bc I was tired

**Seungmin:**

A heads up next time???

Legit thought you died or something

Changbin was about to call the police

**Hyunjin:**

I’m sorry.

I love you guys.

**Seungmin:**

Love you too.

So are you and Minho back together now or…?

Hyunjin couldn’t help smirking at that, and at that moment, Minho walked in the room.

“Good shower?” Minho asked.

“Yeah.” Hyunjin looked up from his phone and smiled. “Did you charge my phone last night?”

Minho shrugged. “Figured you’d need it.”

“Thank you,” Hyunjin said, and he meant it.

“I also stopped and got you ice cream, but by the time I got back to the car, you were passed out.”

Hyunjin blinked in surprise. “Really?”

Minho shrugged again, not meeting his gaze. “I thought it would make you feel better.” When Hyunjin just stared at him, he added quickly, “You have an unhealthy obsession with ice cream. Like, it’s good, but it’s not _that_ good.”

Hyunjin couldn’t speak. He was too overwhelmed by the familiar uncontrollable swelling in his chest and the roaring in his head and somewhat of a tunnel vision, where he could only see Minho.

“Anyways.” Minho waved the thought aside. “It’s in the freezer if you want.”

Hyunjin managed to nod. “Thank you.”

“In my opinion it’s too early for ice cream, but you’re an adult, so do what you want.” Minho sighed and looked at the door to the bathroom connected to his room. “I’m, uh, gonna go get ready.”

Hyunjin blinked and watched him go, all too aware of the fluttering, giddy feeling in his chest. That was never a good sign.

He went back into the kitchen, briefly considering eating that ice cream now but deciding it against it because Minho was right—it was too early for ice cream (Hyunjin never thought he’d admit that, but…).

As he sat down at the table, his mind was already elsewhere. His hand lifted on its own and pressed itself up against the left side of his chest, right over his heart. He could feel his heart pounding, sending out a warm, happy feeling with every pulse.

Hyunjin spent too much time overanalyzing things, so of course he spent a good amount of time overanalyzing himself. He knew himself. He knew that he was overly sensitive. He knew that he was good-looking but not as smart as the next person (he usually felt like a total, incapable idiot next to Seungmin). He knew that he could swing from one emotion to another and back again within a short amount of time. He knew that that overly sensitive mood swing sometimes resulted from him deliberately sabotaging his own good mood.

He also knew that he fell in love all too easily. He once thought it might be a strength—he could always find something to love in a place, a person, or a situation. He thought it helped him appreciate the world, because so much of it was unbearably ugly. But now, as he grew older and went through relationship after relationship, heartbreak after heartbreak, he knew that falling in love so easily was a weakness. He wished he could be cool and efficient like Seungmin, whom he knew still held so much love but reserved it for only those dear to him. He wished he could hold himself back and not fall for anyone who was just pretty, charming, or showed him the slightest bit of decency. He wished, for once, that he would be able to control himself and not set himself up for heartbreak.

But really, for once, he just wished that the person he fell in love with would love him back. He had thought that Jisung had been that person. He had been so, so wrong.

Realizing that he was falling for Minho terrified him. Minho already hurt him too easily. Hyunjin didn’t even want to think of how painful it would inevitably be when Minho broke his heart. But then again, wasn’t that the plan? Wasn’t Minho supposed to break up with him just so Hyunjin could get Jisung back?

Well, yes, that _was_ the plan, but the plan also assumed that Hyunjin wouldn’t develop actual feelings.

Hyunjin should have seen this one coming. He shook his head at himself, wondering when he would stop being so stupid and learn from his mistakes.

He heard footsteps approaching, and then Minho was saying, “You’re welcome to stay longer if you want. I just have dance practice later this afternoon.”

“I should probably get back home,” Hyunjin said. “I have homework to do.” _And feelings to avoid._

Minho nodded as he walked up to the table, his gaze lowered. Hyunjin opened his mouth to add something else, but Minho said, as if reading his mind, “Don’t worry about the clothes. You can give them back to me whenever.”

“Sweet, free clothes!” Hyunjin joked, and Minho snorted.

“Well, if you’re gonna steal my clothes…” Minho gestured for Hyunjin to wait before heading back into his room. He returned with a black hoodie, which he held out to Hyunjin. “At least steal something that’s convincing for the scheme?”

Hyunjin blinked. “We’re still doing that?”

Minho’s smile faltered as he withdrew his arm. “Oh. Right. I forgot we ended that.” He avoided Hyunjin’s gaze as he folded the hoodie over his arm and took a step back.

“We can still do it,” Hyunjin heard himself say. “We can tell everyone that we got back together.”

“I thought you said it wasn’t worth it,” Minho said. He frowned. “Did you mean that Jisung isn’t worth it?”

Hyunjin figured he would always have feelings for Jisung, but he was beginning to think that he didn’t actually want to get back together with him. “No, he is,” he said, deciding to lie. It was easier to lie than to admit to Minho what an idealistic idiot he was, that he had actually fallen for someone else.

“Okay,” Minho said. “So…do you really still want to do this?”

“Yes,” Hyunjin said. _No!_ The voice in his head yelled. “Do you?”

Minho shrugged. “I guess I can put up with you a little bit longer.” He smirked, which was completely merciless to Hyunjin’s heart. Minho held out the hoodie to Hyunjin, and Hyunjin took it, unable to keep himself from smiling. Minho’s smirk stretched into a smile before he asked, “Do you want me to walk you home?”

“Thanks, but I’ll be okay on my own,” Hyunjin said, standing. He pulled on the hoodie, mussing up his hair in the process. He made no effort to fix it. “We’ll probably have to plan our next step, right?”

“Right,” Minho said, staring at Hyunjin with a look Hyunjin couldn’t decipher. Minho blinked a few times as though to snap himself out of it. “I’ll, uh, I’ll text you once I figure something out.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin gave him a smile before slipping past him to the bedroom, where he grabbed his clothes and shoes from last night.

When he returned home, he was bombarded by Seungmin, who tackled him in a hug, only to pull back and smack him on the shoulder, only to pull him into a tight hug again. Changbin watched this all from the couch, laughing at Seungmin’s reaction and Hyunjin’s wide-eyed expression, not moving to help Hyunjin at all as Seungmin ranted at him for scaring the shit out of them.

Once everything had calmed down, and they all settled on the couch, Hyunjin couldn’t help frowning at Changbin, noticing that Changbin was wearing one of Seungmin’s shirts. “Wait, why are you here so early on a Saturday?”

Changbin paused to exchange glances with Seungmin, and based on the way both of them were blushing, Hyunjin connected all of the dots.

“OH MY GOD!” Hyunjin exclaimed. “_That’s_ why you guys weren’t answering last night?!”

“No!” Seungmin exclaimed as Changbin laughed again. “No, that’s not what happened!”

“Holy shit, you guys slept together while I was having a panic attack at some gay bar?!”

“No!!!” Seungmin shouted over Hyunjin’s overly dramatic reaction and Changbin’s laughter. Eventually Seungmin gave up with a loud sigh, but he still glared at the ceiling as he said, “NOTHING HAPPENED! We just went to see a late-night movie!”

“Oh, sure. What type of movie was it? A romance with a really extensive sex scene?” Hyunjin grinned and nudged Seungmin with his elbow. Seungmin tackled him, causing Hyunjin to shriek, especially when Seungmin put all of his weight on top of him.

The entire time, Changbin just laughed, and when Hyunjin left to go work on homework, he couldn’t help pausing outside his door to look back at the two of them on the couch. He saw the way Seungmin curled into Changbin’s side and the soft smiles the two of them exchanged. It warmed Hyunjin’s heart, seeing them together and happy, but he couldn’t help wondering if he would ever get something genuine like that.

* * *

Things changed after that. First of all, Hyunjin had to deal with the fact that Seungmin and Changbin were now a thing, which was a blessing and a curse in its own way. On the one hand, everyone in their friend group was focused on freaking out over Seungmin and Changbin that they didn’t notice the dramatics surrounding Hyunjin and Minho. On the other hand, Hyunjin came home every single day to find Changbin over, and he was already getting sick of being the third wheel. Not that Seungmin and Changbin were overly affectionate—that was _not_ Seungmin’s style (Changbin on the other hand…)—but they were just always together. It wasn’t just the three of them hanging out as friends anymore; it was the two of them as a couple and then Hyunjin. They, of course, did their best to include Hyunjin and treat him like they always did, but Hyunjin could tell when the two of them just wanted to be alone together.

Which led to the second change. Hyunjin now started to spend the majority of his time with Minho. At first, he started to just spend more time on campus after classes instead of going home to third-wheel. But on-campus, he couldn’t take effective naps, and Hyunjin needed his naps to function. At one point, he became so desperate that he texted Minho after class, asking if he could crash at his place to get some homework done and maybe take a nap. And, surprisingly, Minho agreed.

Hyunjin still apologized profusely for imposing, which Minho waved off every time until Hyunjin apologized one time too many and Minho threatened to smack him if he apologized again. To which Hyunjin couldn’t help whispering, “Sorry,” and then had to run screaming for his life as Minho lunged at him.

He crashed for three days in a row, and on the fourth, it was a Thursday night again, so he just went home. However, once he arrived home and was crashed on his bed with Netflix pulled up on his laptop and a bowl of instant ramen balanced precariously on his stomach, Minho sent him a text, asking where he was. Surprised, Hyunjin texted back saying that he was at home. Minho only responded with, “Oh.”

Hyunjin immediately felt a stab of guilt, initially thinking that Minho would be glad that Hyunjin wasn’t taking up his time or apartment. He knew he would be happy if his fake, annoying boyfriend wasn’t coming over and if he got the entire apartment to himself. At least, that was based on Minho’s reputation.

Seungmin and Changbin were out on a date, which was part of the reason why Hyunjin texted Minho back and asked if he wanted to come over to his apartment instead. He even added that he had a movie pulled up if Minho wanted to watch it with him. Minho responded immediately, saying, “Be right over.”

Just that simple response but a smile on Hyunjin’s face.

“Where are the lovebirds?” Minho asked a few minutes later as he took his shoes off by the front door.

“Out on a date,” Hyunjin said with a roll of his eyes.

“Oooh, so we have the whole apartment to ourselves.” Minho wiggled his eyebrows, and Hyunjin laughed.

“This is _not_ Netflix and chill,” Hyunjin said, heading into his room.

“Really?” Minho was smirking as he followed him and Hyunjin moved his bowl of ramen off the bed. “Because this is usually how it starts out. Empty apartment, watching a movie on the bed…”

“No,” Hyunjin said.

“I know, I’m just kidding.” Minho waited for Hyunjin to get situated before settling down on his bed next to him.

“Oh, wait, can you get the lights?”

Minho sighed dramatically and gave him a look before dragging himself off the bed and over to the light switch. He kicked the door shut before turning the lights off, plunging them into darkness broken only by the illumination of the laptop screen. Minho took a running start and dove back onto the bed, making Hyunjin laugh as he held the laptop out of the way. Minho smiled at him before settling down once again.

“So,” he said, pushing his hair out of his face. “What’re we watching?”

“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before,” Hyunjin said.

Minho paused before giving Hyunjin a look. “Seriously?”

“What? It’s a good movie!” It was one of Hyunjin’s favorites, actually, but there was no way he was telling Minho that now.

“It’s basically our situation,” Minho said. “Fake dating to get back at the exes?”

“Yeah, but in this one they actually fall for each other in the end,” Hyunjin retorted. When his face turned bright red, he added, “And, y’know, they’re straight.”

Minho shrugged and didn’t say anything as they settled down to watch. Hyunjin was all too conscious of how close Minho was, or, rather, how far away he was. They kept at least a couple inches between them, which might as well have been an entire ocean on the narrow bed. Hyunjin was also the type of person who loved to cuddle with whomever he was sitting next to, or at the very least be _touching_ that person. He caught himself stiffening and hunching his shoulders in an attempt to take up as little space as possible. He tried to relax, but if he did, he would eventually be touching Minho.

Of course, there was nothing wrong with that. They had cuddled a bunch of times before. But that had been when everyone else was around. Now it was just the two of them. That would feel much too intimate.

And, also, there was the issue that this wasn’t just an innocent scheme anymore. Hyunjin didn’t want to know what would happen to his stupid heart if he actually got to cuddle Minho just for the heck of it.

They hadn’t even gotten through the first part of the movie before Minho was reaching forward and pressing pause. Hyunjin froze, feeling his stomach bottom out while his heart rate immediately accelerated, especially when Minho looked at him.

“You know what would make this better?” Minho said.

_Oh god,_ Hyunjin thought. “What?” he managed to force out.

Minho smirked at him, and Hyunjin really did think the mood of this was changing much too quickly, and he was terrified.

Then Minho pointed at him and said, “Ice cream.”

Hyunjin felt a huge wave of relief crash over him. “Ice cream?”

“Yeah, do you have any?” Minho sat up, then snorted. “That’s a stupid question. You always have ice cream, don’t you?”

“Actually, not always. Sometimes I finish it and forget to buy more until it’s late at night when I actually need it.”

Minho smirked again, and he looked so soft and beautiful in that moment, with his brown hair all tousled and the light of the laptop casting a glow on his face. Hyunjin thought, if Minho leaned down and kissed him, he’d be okay with that.

Hyunjin almost smacked himself. What the hell was he thinking? Minho didn’t see him as anything more than a friend. _Hyunjin_ was the one who was falling in this situation, not Minho.

“Well, do you have some right now?” Minho asked.

“Yes,” Hyunjin said. “I haven’t been eating it the past few nights because I’ve been over at your place.” He smiled. “Look at me, it’s like I’m on a diet!”

Minho just smiled at that, a fond look on his face. He stared at him for a moment too long, because Hyunjin tried not to squirm under his gaze and eventually said, “So…ice cream?”

“Right.” Minho quickly looked away and got up. He headed out to the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a tub of ice cream and two spoons. “Chocolate chip cookie dough.”

“It’s the best,” Hyunjin said as Minho shut the door and settled back on the bed next to him.

“Nope, nothing can beat good ol’ vanilla,” Minho said.

Hyunjin arched an eyebrow. “Never thought you’d like _anything_ classified as vanilla.”

“Vanilla ice cream and milkshakes are the only exception.” Minho smirked as he stared straight ahead at the computer screen.

Hyunjin couldn’t help whining at that. “Oh, now I want a milkshake.”

“We can go get one after the movie’s over.”  
  
“Wait, really?”

“Imagine the things you could do if you could actually do what you wanted,” Minho said. “Oh, wait, that’s part of being an adult! What a crazy idea.” He gave Hyunjin a mocking, wide-eyed look.

“You’re gonna get me fired if you give me ice cream _and_ milkshakes on the same night,” Hyunjin said, stabbing his spoon into the ice cream. “Gonna get too fat to be a model.”

“As long as you’re happy,” Minho said with a smile that Hyunjin honestly couldn’t tell if it was sarcastic or not. So he didn’t respond and instead pressed play on the movie. He stared straight ahead the entire time, knowing he wasn’t strong enough to look at Minho. Minho watched the movie with a languid expression, occasionally glancing down to scoop up some ice cream.

Hyunjin couldn’t help thinking, if this really were a movie, one of them would smear ice cream on their face and the other would laugh and wipe it off with their thumb, only for them to freeze for a moment before leaning forward and finally—_finally!_—kissing. The audience would cheer—_about damn time! Why couldn’t they see it sooner that they were meant for each other???_

Then, inevitably, they would find something to fight about and break up and make the audience wonder in agony if they would ever get back together again!! It would take the convincing of the best friend that one of them had to go get the other with only five minutes left of the movie! And then that one would run dramatically down the street or through the airport and finally find the love of their life right before their love is on the brink of leaving forever. One of them would profess their undying love, they would kiss, and the credits would roll. Happy ending! Everyone goes home satisfied.

Hyunjin watched too many romance movies for it to be healthy.

He didn’t realize he was scowling until the credits were rolling and Minho was looking at him.

“What,” Minho snorted, “you didn’t like the ending?”

“What?” Hyunjin blinked and looked at him with wide-eyes. “Oh, no, I just…zoned out.” He looked back at the screen and reached forward to click out of the movie. He quickly closed out of his Netflix before Minho could judge him on his movie tastes and shut his laptop, forgetting that it was the only source of light in the room.

“Spooky,” Minho said when the room plunged into darkness. “Or, y’know, sexy?”

Hyunjin groaned at that, especially when the longing was so strong that it physically hurt.

“Kidding,” Minho said. “I really shouldn’t make so many sex jokes. Sorry.”

“Can you turn on the lamp?” Hyunjin reached up to rub at his eyes, thinking this entire thing had been a mistake.

Minho hummed and flicked on the lamp. He blinked a few times from the bright light and looked at Hyunjin, who was pretending to focus on cleaning up the ice cream and checking that they hadn’t dripped any. When Hyunjin didn’t say anything, Minho pulled out his phone to check the time. “I should probably head home,” he said. “Early class tomorrow.”

“Right.” Hyunjin nodded.

“Are you coming over tomorrow?”

Hyunjin looked up at the hopeful lilt in Minho’s voice. Minho blinked a few more times as Hyunjin didn’t respond right away. But then Hyunjin smiled and said, “Only if you’re okay with me crashing on your couch again.”

Minho gave him a look, a small smile on his lips. “What’d we agree about that? Of course I’m okay with it. It’s nice, honestly. Don’t get me wrong, living alone is awesome—I mean, I don’t have to clean up other people’s messes, I don’t have to wear clothes sometimes, I get to bring home whoever I want and not worry about pissing off everyone else by how loud we are—” When Hyunjin looked away, uncomfortable (and incredibly jealous), Minho quickly continued, “But it gets really lonely sometimes. It’s…it’s nice being able to come home to someone.”

“You could get a cat,” Hyunjin said, thinking about how often Minho gushed over cute pictures of cats and whined about how much he missed his three cats back home. Of course, he realized too late that Minho couldn’t follow his thought process and that Minho was actually talking about something else, something much more serious.

Minho blinked at him again, his face flashing in shock and a bit of hurt, before he quickly covered it up by looking down and giving a soft laugh. “Yeah, that’s true. I could always get a cat.”

Hyunjin immediately regretted saying anything and opened his mouth to amend it, but no words came out.

Minho cleared his throat and said, “Well, I should go. Um, thanks for the movie and the ice cream.” He moved off the bed and gave Hyunjin a brief smile. “I had fun.”

“Me too,” Hyunjin said softly.

Minho gave a curt nod, then muttered a quick, “Goodnight.” Before Hyunjin could respond, Minho was walking out the door of the room. A moment later, the front door opened and shut.

Hyunjin calmly set the tub of ice cream on the side table before picking up his pillow and screaming into it. He fell back onto his bed, holding the pillow close enough to the point where he thought he could actually suffocate himself with it. But then he breathed in and smelled Minho’s cologne on it and immediately threw it away. He stared up at the ceiling, tears pricking at his eyes.

_Why_ had he said that? Minho had finally opened up to him—albeit, not by much, but still! How often had Hyunjin lamented about how Minho rarely talked about his personal feelings? Or allowed himself to be vulnerable? And now, when he finally took a small step towards opening up to Hyunjin, Hyunjin had completely mistreated it.

He felt awful.

He grabbed the tub of ice cream, prepared to start eating it again. But the moment he saw the two spoons still stuck in the remaining dessert, something struck his heart, and he stood up. He put the ice cream back in the freezer without eating any more of it.

When he fell asleep that night, after showering, he could still smell Minho’s cologne on his pillow.

* * *

The following day, Hyunjin fully intended to go over to Minho’s apartment right when Minho arrived home from practice (which was around seven o’clock). That gave him the entire day up until then to try and get some homework done, but he couldn’t focus for the life of him. His mind was on Minho and Minho only. Hyunjin had to make it up to him and show him that he _could_ open up to Hyunjin and that Hyunjin wanted him to.

He held himself back from bombarding Minho with a series of texts until around four o’clock, when he broke and sent Minho a text asking if he could still come over tonight. Minho didn’t respond, but Hyunjin tried not to panic. After all, Minho could be busy. He wasn’t glued to his phone like Hyunjin was. So Hyunjin forced himself to remain calm and to not wear a hole through his carpet by pacing.

An hour passed, and Minho still hadn’t responded. Hyunjin was about to slam his head against the wall when someone knocked at the door.

He almost knocked his laptop onto the floor as he jumped up from the bed and ran to the front door. A voice in the back of his mind told him that it wasn’t Minho, because Minho would be at practice right now, but Hyunjin ignored it. He pulled the door open, his expression all too hopeful.

His heart plummeted when he saw Jisung standing there.

“What are you doing here?” Hyunjin asked, freezing.

“We need to talk,” Jisung said, his expression too serious and determined. Hyunjin wanted to slam the door in his face and refuse to speak to him, but he could only step aside wordlessly and let Jisung pass. Once he shut the door, Jisung turned to look at him, and Hyunjin’s breath caught. He hadn’t seen Jisung in a few weeks, but he was still caught off-guard by how attractive he was.

_Well, still not as attractive as Minho._

Hyunjin blinked at that, but Jisung said, “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but you need to stop.”

Hyunjin frowned. “Stop what?”

“Dating Minho? Flirting with Choa? _Seriously_?” Jisung glared at him. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Hyunjin took a step back, unprepared for the sudden attack, but then scowled. “I am _not_ flirting with Choa.” She had actually begun walking with him in between classes, chatting about nothing in particular, because they just so happened to have classes in the engineering building at the same time. She was just being friendly.

“Oh, bullshit,” Jisung scoffed. “I’ve seen you walking together. And _laughing_. I know you follow each other on Instagram. I know you have her number. _And _I know that you’ve been texting her, because she won’t let me see her phone anymore.”

“Maybe _you_ did something, not me,” Hyunjin shot back. “Like being overly protective and controlling?”

“Do _not_ try to deflect this onto me,” Jisung snapped, jabbing a finger at him. “You’ve always been jealous and manipulative from the start. And suddenly dating Minho is where I draw the fucking line.”

“You’re just now drawing the line? We’ve been dating for two months!”

“You’re trying to make me jealous by dating Minho and trying to get Choa away from me at the same time,” Jisung said. “Are you really that messed up that you can’t handle the fact that I don’t want to be with you anymore?”

“If you didn’t want to be with me, then why did you even ask me out?!” Hyunjin exclaimed. “Why did you lead me on only to drop me a few months later?”

“It’s not my fault you fall for anyone who so much as _smiles_ at you,” Jisung retorted. “And if you think _I_ led you on and dropped you, then wait until Minho breaks up with you. He doesn’t care about you. That’s not his ‘thing.’ I broke up with him because I knew he was going to do it to me, so I wanted to beat him to it and save myself the pain. You’re a fucking dumbass if you think Minho is going to be any gentler with you.”

Anger was pulsing through Hyunjin’s veins, but so was the pain from the bite of Jisung’s words. He was telling Hyunjin’s greatest fears and he knew it.

“Stop,” Hyunjin said, shaking his head. “Get out. Just get out.”

Jisung took a step towards him, his face twisted in a snarl. “You’re not allowed to date Minho, Hyunjin. He’s not yours and he never will be.”

“Get. Out,” Hyunjin growled.

Jisung took a step back and opened the door. Before leaving, though, he turned to look back at Hyunjin. “If you so much as _look_ at Choa again, I’ll fucking break your nose. How much do you think the world will want you once you ruin your only feature?”

Hyunjin could have punched him right then, but Jisung slammed the door too quickly. Hyunjin waited until he was sure Jisung was gone before snapping and punching the wall as hard as he could. He felt the pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain in his heart. He slumped to the floor, pressing his forehead up against the wood of the front door. He didn’t want to cry. He wanted to pull himself together for once and be able to get through any painful situation without bawling his eyes out. But the more he tried to hold it back, the more painful it became.

He knew Seungmin would be coming home any moment (with Changbin, most likely) and he knew he would probably get smacked in the face with the door if he didn’t move. Briefly, he wondered if it would break his nose if he got hit in the face with the door. Could he really become worthless just from a small break like that?

The only reason he moved was because he heard his phone buzz from the kitchen counter. He dragged himself away from the door, his hand already bruising and throbbing. A glance down at it told him that he had split the skin on his knuckles as well. He would have to wear long sleeves to hide it from view, because he knew Seungmin would immediately notice.

He picked up his phone with his good hand. Minho had responded.

**Hyunjin:**

Can I still come over tonight?

**Minho:**

Tbh you don’t even have to ask

Yes, you can come over.

Do you want me to order food?

Droplets landed on Hyunjin’s phone, and he quickly reached up and swiped at the tears that were finally falling. He sniffed and took a deep breath to calm himself before texting Minho back.

**Hyunjin:**

You don’t have to.

**Minho:**

But I want to.

**Hyunjin:**

Okay…

How about…chicken?

**Minho:**

Sounds like a plan :)

Minho rarely used emojis, but Hyunjin refused to believe that this time was any different. Jisung’s words were still fresh in his mind, and the worst part was that Jisung didn’t even know how true his words were. Minho wasn’t Hyunjin’s and he never would be. All of this was just fake. And he would, inevitably, break up with Hyunjin. And Hyunjin, inevitably, would be devastated.

* * *

“Is something wrong?”

Hyunjin glanced up from his chicken and tried to look innocent as he looked back at Minho. “What? No, why would something be wrong?”

“Well, for starters, you’re wearing makeup,” Minho said, arching an eyebrow.

Hyunjin arched an eyebrow back at him. “That’s nothing new.”

“You hate wearing makeup,” Minho retorted. “You only wear makeup when you have to, like for shows or photoshoots.”

“Maybe I just felt like looking pretty,” Hyunjin joked, tilting his head to one side and smirking at Minho, hoping Minho would fall for it and drop the conversation.

Minho didn’t look convinced. “You also haven’t moved your right hand at all since you got here, and I know for a fact that you’re right-handed, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin shifted his weight and looked back down at the chicken wing in his left hand. It _was_ a bit difficult eating with his left. He was also a bit surprised at how attentive Minho was. He had honestly thought Minho wouldn’t notice. _Because Minho didn’t care_. “So?” he asked.

Minho held out his hand.

Hyunjin glanced down at it, deciding to play dumb. “You want me to pass the siracha?”

“Hyunjin.” Minho gave him a look.

Hyunjin wanted to curl into himself and hide away every single ugly part of him from Minho, but he had never been very good at resisting Minho’s stare. Reluctantly, he held out his right hand from where he had hidden it under the table, though his sleeve was still pulled down over it. Minho took Hyunjin’s hand, and Hyunjin couldn’t help wincing from the pain as Minho touched him. Minho noticed and softened his grip before he pushed back the sleeve, revealing the ugly scabs and bruises.

Hyunjin tried to yank his hand back, but Minho caught him by the wrist.

“What did you do?” Minho asked, still looking down at the mess on Hyunjin’s hand.

“Punched a guy who said women’s rights are a waste of time.”

Minho gave him a look. “Have you ever punched someone in your life, Hyunjin?”

“Oh, yeah, lots of times,” Hyunjin lied.

“Really? Because you don’t split your knuckles from punching someone. So…” Minho loosened his grip and brought up his other hand to gently cradle Hyunjin’s. “What’d you do?”

Hyunjin wanted to pull his hand away again, but the feeling of Minho’s fingers gently smoothing over Hyunjin’s skin was too sweet. It was like everywhere he touched, the pain went away. He wondered if Minho could make emotional pain go away as well.

When Hyunjin didn’t respond for several moments and didn’t even meet Minho’s gaze, Minho gave a small nod, looking away.

“That’s okay,” he said quietly. “You don’t have to tell me.”

Hyunjin wanted to, but how could he? How could he tell Minho that Jisung had made him so angry that he punched a wall? That he had made him so angry because he had told the truth and Hyunjin just didn’t want to hear it? How could he explain any of that without admitting his feelings for Minho?

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin whispered.

“Why are you apologizing?” Minho looked surprised. “For injuring your hand?”

Hyunjin shrugged, and Minho looked at him for several moments, his expression unreadable. Then, Minho asked, “Does it hurt?”

“A little,” Hyunjin admitted.

Minho looked down at their hands, then, before Hyunjin could react, Minho raised Hyunjin’s hand to his lips and planted a quick kiss on the ruined knuckles. “Does it feel better now?”

Hyunjin couldn’t respond because he was pretty sure he had just stopped functioning. He just stared at Minho, his jaw dropped, his eyes wide.

Minho gave a small, shy smile. “My mom used to do that,” he said. “Whenever I got injured—which happened a lot, believe it or not—she would ask where it hurt and then kiss wherever I pointed. And it always felt better afterwards.” He shrugged and looked back down at Hyunjin’s hand, where he had been rubbing a thumb across the back of it without realizing.

_I love you_, Hyunjin wanted to say. That was the only thing he could process in that moment. Just, _I love you, I love you, I love you._

He also thought, stupidly, if Jisung really did punch him in the face, if he ended up splitting his lip, would Minho kiss him then to make it feel better? Hyunjin was almost willing to try it out.

“Ah, I probably overstepped,” Minho said when Hyunjin didn’t respond for about thirty seconds. “Sorry.” He gently placed Hyunjin’s hand on the table and withdrew, avoiding Hyunjin’s eyes.

“It feels better now,” Hyunjin said.

Minho smiled, but it looked too reserved and too forced. “Oh, good.” Then he was back to avoiding Hyunjin’s gaze. He cleared his throat before standing up. “Um, we can watch a movie if you want.”

“Okay,” Hyunjin said.

Minho gave a curt nod and started to clean up. Hyunjin moved to help him, but Minho swatted his hand away without thinking, only for his eyes to widen as he gasped, “Oh my god, I’m sorry—”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Hyunjin said, though his eyes were close to watering now from the pain.

“I’m so sorry,” Minho said, his face completely distraught. He reached for Hyunjin’s hand, then stopped and took a step back. “That was an accident, I swear.”

“I know,” Hyunjin said. “It’s okay, really. It doesn’t hurt anymore, I promise.”

Minho looked unconvinced, but he nodded anyways. “Um, you don’t have to help clean up. Seriously.” Then he picked up the plates and the box of chicken without another word.

They ended up on the couch, sitting on opposite ends, not meeting each other’s gazes. Minho chose some sort of new crime thriller movie that had just come out, which was fine, but Hyunjin thought he was literally going to die if he had to watch another movie without cuddling with someone. Besides, it had been an incredibly shitty day—he just needed a hug from someone, anyone, at this point.

Minho glanced at him when Hyunjin scooted over and put his head in his lap. If Minho was surprised, Hyunjin didn’t see it. He just stared straight ahead at the TV, his heart pounding out of his chest as he curled up next to Minho.

Then, Minho lifted his hand to place it on Hyunjin’s head. His touch was light at first, almost hesitant, but when Hyunjin didn’t shrug him off, he started gently running his fingers through his hair. After a few minutes, he stopped, and Hyunjin immediately missed the feeling of his touch. So he reached up and took Minho’s hand in his left hand before hugging it to his chest. Minho didn’t move at all (and Hyunjin never saw how Minho smiled down at him).

Eventually, Hyunjin dozed off and vaguely remembered before slipping off that by holding their intertwined hands to his chest, Minho could feel his heart pounding the entire time.

* * *

The memory of Jisung’s harsh words faded from Hyunjin’s mind over the weekend, only to resurface on Monday, when Choa caught up with Hyunjin in between classes. Hyunjin didn’t see her coming, because if he did, then he would have avoided her out of fear of Jisung seeing them. Hyunjin really didn’t want more verbal abuse or a broken nose. But Choa caught him off-guard, and Hyunjin couldn’t excuse himself without coming off as blatantly rude.

“Hi, Hyunjin,” she said, but without her usual brightness.

“Hi,” Hyunjin said, giving a small, tentative smile. She flashed a smile in response as she fell in-step beside him, though her face was turned towards the ground as she walked. Hyunjin couldn’t help noticing how exhausted she looked, which was why he said, “How are you?”

“Oh, well…” Choa shrugged. “I’ve been better, I guess.”

Hyunjin nodded. He knew that all too well. “Stress from classes?”

Choa hesitated before saying, “It’s not that, actually.”

“Oh?” Hyunjin looked at her in surprise.

She nodded, and at that moment, Hyunjin saw her lip tremble. “It’s Jisung,” she said, her voice thick with oncoming tears.

Hyunjin blinked as Choa started crying, right there, in the middle of campus in the middle of the day. She started crying so hard that she stopped walking, and Hyunjin had no idea what to do. People gave them looks—concerned, curious, annoyed—as they passed them, and Hyunjin quickly looked back at Choa.

“Um, do you want to go sit down?” he asked, reaching out to touch her shoulder, only to pull back out of fear of what this looked like. “Maybe get something from the cafe?”

Choa nodded, still sobbing and gasping for air. “We can—we can go to—to that little garden with the—with the fountain?” She looked up at Hyunjin with wide, glistening eyes.

Hyunjin nodded. “Of course, of course.”

They had to endure more strange looks (some of them directed at Hyunjin, because people probably thought he was in the middle of breaking up with her or something) before they made it to a small, student-run garden tucked away in a corner of campus. It was actually a roof-top garden, available for anyone to come and hide away in a little piece of nature. Hyunjin couldn’t help thinking it seemed too romantic of a spot, but it was where Choa wanted to go, so he couldn’t complain.

They sat down on a stone bench by the fountain, and Hyunjin couldn’t help hunching his shoulders as he tried to take up as little space as possible.

“So,” he said as Choa kept crying. “Um, what’s wrong with Jisung? Or, you and Jisung?”

Choa had to calm down a bit before replying, which took a solid minute or so. “He just…he just doesn’t have time for me. He’s so focused on other things—like writing songs and practicing for performances and even playing games—that he doesn’t make time for me anymore.” She wiped at the tears on her cheeks, sniffing. “We used to go out every other night or at least _hang out _or FaceTime each other every night, but lately he keeps making excuses and sometimes goes days without talking to me. And then, when we do hang out, he always acts so suspicious when I’m on my phone.”

Hyunjin didn’t say anything, thinking it wasn’t his place to make any comments about this situation.

Choa continued, “I think he thinks I’m cheating. But why would I do that? If anyone’s cheating, it’s him, because he spends so much time away from me now. And I’m not asking for us to be together every second of the day, but when he just ignores me like this sometimes…it hurts, you know?”

“I do know,” Hyunjin said quietly.

“And I guess…I guess I’m just jealous.” Choa dissolved into tears again. “I’m jealous of you and Minho.”

“What?” That was the most absurd thing Hyunjin had ever heard.

“I know, it’s awful, right? I shouldn’t be jealous, because you two probably have your own problems like any couple, but…” Choa paused, her lip still trembling. “But you guys just look so _happy_. You look so happy when you’re together and just the way that you look at each other…I can’t help it.” She sniffed again as she stared down at her hands. “I haven’t been happy with Jisung for a while now and I don’t know why. I like him, I really do, but…”

Hyunjin was still baffled by the jealousy part that he had fallen behind in processing the conversation.

“I’ve been giving it some thought,” Choa wiped at her cheeks again, “and…I can’t do it anymore. I’m going to break up with him.”

“What? Are you sure?”

Choa nodded as she bit her lip. “I just…I need a break right now. And I guess it’s a bit of a test, too? I just want to see if he’ll even notice if I’m gone, or if he’ll just move on like he did with you.”

Hyunjin blinked and leaned away, making Choa look up with wide eyes.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” she said. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong.”

“It’s fine,” Hyunjin said, but it really wasn’t.

“I knew I was kind of a rebound,” Choa said. “I just decided to go along with it anyways, because he was so cute and sweet and funny and talented and…I guess I just got carried away.”

“If you’re not happy, though…” Hyunjin trailed off, knowing how this whole drama would come back around to get him if he wasn’t careful.

“I’ve already made up my mind,” Choa said. She sighed. “It won’t be easy, but I have to do it.”

_Please leave me out of it when you do, because Jisung will surely kill me for this,_ Hyunjin wanted to say, but instead he said, “Okay.”

They were silent. Choa still sniffled and reached up to wipe her eyes. Hyunjin didn’t know where to look, so he ended up staring straight ahead at the fountain, still as uncomfortable as ever.

“Thank you, Hyunjin,” Choa said softly.

“For what?”

“For being here for me. For putting up with me, I guess.” Choa sighed. “For being my friend. I know it’s weird, being friends with your ex’s new girlfriend, but I really do like being around you.”

Hyunjin smiled. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

She gave a watery smile that held so much sadness in it that Hyunjin recognized all too well. But there was also something else, something that looked a lot like determination. Choa would be okay. She was a strong one. She might be broken for a bit, but inevitably she would be able to put herself back together and move on. And Hyunjin wanted her to.

“You’ll get through this, Choa,” he said. “You’re a very strong person, and I would hate for this to stop you from moving on to great things.”

She smiled again. “Thank you, Hyunjin. That means a lot.”

Hyunjin nodded and smiled in response, and they went back to watching the fountain.

After a few moments, though, Choa added, “Sorry I made you late for class.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’d skip class any day to help out a friend.”

“You’re sweet, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin shrugged, and they didn’t speak at all after that. Instead, they just sat there, enjoying the cool, winter air, taking a break before continuing on again.

* * *

It was December, meaning finals were coming up, which meant everyone was stressing out at a higher rate than usual. So, of course, this called for a drinking party. But this time, Chan and Changbin decided to take it somewhere else. This time, they decided everyone should have some fun and let loose once in awhile, so they held their unofficial stress-reliever party at a local club on a Friday night. (Though, Hyunjin also suspected that Chan was sick of dealing with drunk people passing out and puking in his apartment after these crazy parties)

The eight of them were all set to attend, though this time, Changbin claimed that this called for appropriate clubbing attire. Which meant no basic t-shirts and jeans like Seungmin and Hyunjin usually wore. Seungmin whined at that, but Hyunjin was excited to wear something a bit flashier than usual. In all honesty, he wanted to catch Minho’s eye this time, even if that meant catching the eyes of other people in the process. This time, he wanted to look good only for Minho.

After picking out a suitable clubbing outfit for Seungmin (which involved a borrowed shirt from Hyunjin), Hyunjin once again had to third-wheel on him and Changbin as Changbin drove them all to the club. He felt his heart pounding out of his chest the entire drive over, which only worsened as they walked up to the front doors. Hyunjin’s hands were shaking so much that he could barely hand his ID and money over. By the time they passed the necessary checkpoints and stepped into the club, the bass and the lights washed over Hyunjin, drowning out everything else in Hyunjin’s head. Changbin led the way through the crowd, and Hyunjin tried not to duck his head in an attempt to avoid everyone’s gazes. This was reminding him all too much of his previous experience in a club, but he told himself that he wasn’t alone this time. He knew for sure that neither Changbin nor Seungmin would ever abandon him in a club. That helped ease the anxiety a bit.

Chan waved at them from a table up against the wall, which only had a few chairs and was mostly meant to stand at.

“What’s up!” Changbin called out, smacking Chan’s hand in a high-five when he came up.

“You guys look fancy,” Chan said with a smile.

“Well, yeah, we couldn’t let Seungmin walk in here in a _hoodie_,” Changbin said, grinning at Seungmin as he bumped his hip into his.

Chan grinned at that, while Hyunjin scanned the crowd in front of them. “Is anyone else here?” he asked Chan, having to lean forward to speak directly in his ear to be heard over the pounding bass.

“Yeah, Felix and Jisung dragged Jeongin onto the dance floor,” Chan said. “I guess they’re trying to teach him to dance.”

Changbin snorted at that, while Seungmin craned his neck. “I want to see that,” he said.

“Like you can dance any better,” Changbin said.

“You’re one to talk!” Seungmin shot back.

“Hey, I can move!”

“Prove it!”

Changbin grinned, and Seungmin grinned back, and then they were moving away from the table and towards the dance floor. Hyunjin watched them go, unable to keep himself from glancing around again with a pounding heart.

“He’s usually late,” Chan told Hyunjin.

“I know,” Hyunjin said.

“So are you two back together again?”

“Yeah, we have been for a few weeks now.” Hyunjin couldn’t help smiling, allowing himself to imagine, for just a little bit, that Minho really was his boyfriend and that they weren’t just faking it. It made his heart swell.

Chan was smiling at him. “You seem happy,” he said.

Hyunjin shrugged. “I am,” he said, and this too he allowed himself to believe. Tonight, he wanted to pretend a little bit more, pretend that this was all real, and forget about sabotaging his good moods. Tonight he was going to have fun, hopefully with Minho.

Chan nodded, and Hyunjin looked back at the crowd, once more in an attempt to search for Minho.

He didn’t see him coming until it was too late, and then someone was poking him in the side, making him jump. He almost knocked into the table as he turned sharply to see Minho standing there, smirking at him.

“Rude,” Hyunjin scoffed, making a move to poke him. He wasn’t trying very hard, because he knew Minho would catch his hand anyways. And Minho did, but this time he held on and used it to pull Hyunjin towards him. For a split second, Hyunjin thought he was pulling him in for a kiss, and the panic must have been evident on his face, because Minho stopped when they were still a few inches apart.

“Hi,” Minho said, still smirking.

“Hi,” Hyunjin said.

“Not having too much fun without me, are you?”

“Loads, actually.” Hyunjin made a face at him. “But then you showed up.”

Minho snorted at that before pulling away to go say hi to Chan. Hyunjin took the time to appreciate how good Minho looked—and he couldn’t help snorting at how Minho was wearing the tight, black leather pants again. Minho caught him looking as he leaned against his forearms on the table and smirked before turning back to Chan. Hyunjin knew he was doing it on purpose, but dear god, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Minho’s ass.

He must have zoned out, because suddenly Felix was running back up to the table, grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Hyunjinnie!” he said, waving.

“Hi!” Hyunjin smiled and waved back, but then the other two caught up with them. Jeongin gave him a dimpled smile, but Hyunjin’s eyes zeroed in on Jisung, who immediately glared at him. For a brief moment of terror, Hyunjin thought Jisung really would punch him, because he had to have heard of him hanging out with Choa again. He also wasn’t entirely sure if Choa had broken up with him yet.

Jisung looked away and looked at Minho instead. He fit himself in the space in between Jeongin and Minho, and something like jealousy and rage shot through Hyunjin when Jisung smiled at Minho. Even worse, Minho smiled back.

“Are Changbinnie and Seungminnie here?” Felix said over the music.

“Yeah, they’re out on the _dance floor_, actually _dancing_ if you can believe it,” Chan said.

Felix’s face lit up. “Oh, man, I’ve gotta see that. Hyunjin—come on!” He moved around the table to grab Hyunjin’s wrist. Hyunjin wanted to protest because there was no way he was going to leave Minho and Jisung alone, but then Jeongin grabbed Hyunjin’s other arm, and he gave up. He let them pull him onto the dance floor, where they wound through the dancing people before finally finding Changbin and Seungmin. At that moment, some song by The Chainsmokers came on, and Hyunjin and Jeongin both grinned at each other. Felix got hyped up as well and started jumping and singing along to the song, not caring what other people thought. Changbin laughed at him, but Felix could actually dance, so Changbin wasn’t laughing for long. All sensibility was left at the door as they all decided to do what they actually came here to do—let loose and dance.

They jumped along to the songs (or just nodded along, if it was, as Jeongin called it, more of a “baby-making song”), sometimes doing actual dance moves that resulted in Felix and Hyunjin having somewhat of a dance-off that ended with the other three yelling and cheering. At some point, Changbin and Seungmin drifted off in search of something to drink, but the three of them kept dancing.

Hyunjin was in the middle of dying from laughter at Jeongin’s ridiculous dancing to “Solo” by Jennie when he took one step too far back and bumped into someone. He jerked around, already prepared to apologize, when he saw Minho standing at there. Hyunjin blinked in surprise, and Felix tugged on Jeongin’s arm, grinning like an idiot as the two of them darted off, leaving Hyunjin and Minho alone.

“Hi,” Minho said.

“Where’s Jisung?” Hyunjin asked, glancing around like Jisung was hiding in the crowd, preparing to attack him.

Minho shrugged. “I dunno. Don’t care.”

Hyunjin blinked again and couldn’t help stiffening as Minho stepped closer. He leaned forward to murmur into Hyunjin’s ear, “It’s just you and me.”

A shiver went through Hyunjin’s body as he squeezed his eyes shut. He almost took a step back to get out of this before it even started, but he had promised himself that he would just let himself do what he wanted tonight. And he wanted to act like Minho really was his. So that’s what he was going to do.

He put on a flirty smile and took a step back, making Minho arch an eyebrow at him. “You’re a dancer,” he said, gesturing towards him. “So, dance.”

Minho smiled and glanced away as he listened to the song and the beat for a few seconds. Hyunjin felt his heart beginning to pound along to the beat as Minho started moving a bit, just in small ways that were somehow completely hypnotizing. He hit every single beat of the song, and yet he looked like he was barely trying, just enjoying feeling the music and moving in whatever way he wanted.

Hyunjin didn’t even realize he was just standing there, staring, until Minho used one dance move to slide closer to him and say into his ear, “You’re not dancing.”

Hyunjin wished he could say something cool and flirty, but his mind had completely short-wired. The best he could come up with was, “You’re right, I’m not.”

“Stop thinking so much, just move,” Minho said, giving him a smile that was somehow both flirty and sweet.

“Show me how?” Hyunjin heard himself say without even thinking.

“Am I allowed to touch you?” Minho tilted his head to one side.

Hyunjin nodded. Minho smirked again before murmuring in his ear, “Just move with me.”

Hyunjin nodded again as Minho put a hand on his hips, and just that small touch alone made Hyunjin’s heart skip a beat. But before they even started moving, the song switched to another, and Hyunjin’s face lit up at the new song.

Minho raised his eyebrows in surprise and laughed as Hyunjin exclaimed, “Holy shit, I love this song!”

He honestly never thought he’d ever hear the song “Timebomb” by Walk the Moon in a club, but it was happening, and it was one of the songs where Hyunjin couldn’t stop himself from moving to the beat even if he tried.

He supposed he probably should have had a bit more finesse, but he couldn’t help it and didn’t really care if his moves were wrong as he started singing along, knowing all the words by heart.

Minho took a step back, his hand slipping from Hyunjin’s hip. Usually that would sting, but the look on Minho’s face made up for it. He stared at Hyunjin with a look of disbelief, his eyes wide in surprise, yet still sparkling like they were before. Hyunjin just grinned and shoved him, trying to get him to move along to the song too, and a slow, steady grin made its way onto Minho’s face.

Then, as the chorus hit, they were both dancing. Hyunjin was vaguely aware that they probably looked ridiculous, but for once, he didn’t care. He was only focused on Minho and Minho was focused on him, both of them grinning and moving along to the song in whatever way felt right.

At some point they moved closer to each other, though Hyunjin wasn’t sure who made that decision. He grinned anyways, his heart feeling lighter than it had in ages, pumping with happy adrenaline that just sang, _this feels right, this feels right, this feels right. _And when Minho finally put his hands on Hyunjin’s hips again and Hyunjin automatically reached for him to pull him closer, a carefree laugh bubbled out of him. He knew the song was going to end soon, but he just grinned along anyways, and Minho grinned back at him, his hands moving up to grip the back of Hyunjin’s neck and then at the hair resting there. He was so, so close. Hyunjin wanted him closer.

His eyes locked with Minho’s, whose grin was slowly fading the longer he held onto Hyunjin. There was something else in his eyes now, something that looked more serious than the sparkle in his eye from before. At some point the two of them had stopped moving to the song, but Hyunjin wasn’t even aware of it. All he was aware of was Minho.

Then the song ended and switched to another. And yet, neither Hyunjin nor Minho moved from where they were, their bodies pressed together, mere centimeters between their foreheads and noses. Minho’s hand was still threaded in the hair on the back of Hyunjin’s neck, still gripping it as tightly as before. Hyunjin was out of breath and in dire need of something to drink, but he didn’t budge from how his eyes were locked with Minho’s.

Minho’s eyes fell to Hyunjin’s lips, and Hyunjin swore time stopped. He forced himself to stay where he was, waiting for Minho to finally make the leap. The bass seemed to beat along to Hyunjin’s own erratic heart as everyone else danced around them, leaving them to be in their own world, a world where Hyunjin was Minho’s and Minho’s was Hyunjin’s.

He waited.

Then Minho bit his lip, glanced down at the floor, and took a step back. Hyunjin supposed he should be able to breathe again, but instead, his lungs felt like they were being crushed. His good mood from the song immediately dissipated.

Minho dropped his hand from Hyunjin’s hair, glancing anywhere but Hyunjin. The world went on without them.

Suddenly the walls were closing in on Hyunjin. The air wasn’t moving. The heat was thickening. Hyunjin was falling.

“Air,” he said, swallowing. “I need air.”

Minho nodded and gestured for him to follow. They wound through the crowd, back to the table, where Minho said something to Chan, who nodded and gave Hyunjin a smug smirk, which Hyunjin didn’t know how to interpret. He managed to cover up the fact that he was seconds away from an anxiety attack by smiling and waving back. Then Minho was taking his hand and pulling him out of the club.

They didn’t speak as Minho drove them. Hyunjin didn’t even know where they were going. He just knew that his throat felt like it was constricting, slowly suffocating him.

When they stopped, they weren’t at either of their apartments. Instead, they were by a bridge. Minho gestured for Hyunjin to follow as he got out and headed for the railing.

They stood at the railing, where the bridge overlooked the sea glittering with the multicolored lights of the city. The moon was out, and some stars were just barely visible through the light pollution of the city. Hyunjin leaned against the railing, staring at the rippled moonlight on the inky black sea, feeling the cool air caress his face. He could breathe a bit better now that the club wasn’t crashing in on him to kill him, now that he and Minho had at least an arm’s length of space in between them.

Once again, they didn’t speak for several moments. They just listened to the gentle, distant lap of the water and occasionally sirens wailing somewhere else in the city.

Then, as he stared with distant eyes at the sea, Hyunjin said, “They probably think we’re having sex right now.”

Minho snorted at that. “Probably.”

Hyunjin glanced at him. A few hours ago, he had been excited to see how good Minho would look tonight, with the tight leather pants and the loose, button-up shirt with the abstract pattern, and the silver jewelry in the form of rings and earrings and necklaces. Now, it just hurt.

Minho glanced at him, and Hyunjin quickly looked away. A few moments more of silence passed before Minho said quietly, “You look good.”

Hyunjin didn’t respond; he didn’t even look at him. Though, he supposed he should be happy that Minho actually noticed, since he had put so much effort into his outfit tonight just in the hopes that Minho would notice.

After what felt like forever, and after Hyunjin’s ears and face felt like they were freezing off, Minho straightened up from where he leaned against the railing. “We should probably go,” he said.

“Yeah.” Hyunjin straightened up as well.

“Are you okay with spending the night? It just…it would look weird if you didn’t.”

Hyunjin nodded.

Minho nodded in response, and they headed back to the car.

When they reached the apartment, they still didn’t speak as they both got ready for bed. Minho had bought an extra toothbrush for Hyunjin, and he had some specific t-shirts and shorts or sweatpants set aside for Hyunjin to wear as sleepwear. He even let Hyunjin use his phone charger for the night, saying he could always charge his own tomorrow morning.

Hyunjin lay down with his back to Minho, and after turning off the lights, Minho lay down on his side with his back to Hyunjin. There was a set amount of space in between them that Hyunjin wished he could cross.

He blamed his half-lucid state as he drifted off to sleep, because he thought he heard Minho whisper, “I wish you were mine.”

_I wish I was yours, too,_ Hyunjin thought before slipping off.

* * *

Minho was the kind of person who usually had no difficulty whatsoever in sleeping, especially if he had some alcohol in his system. Last night had been somewhat exhausting compared to his usual nights, but it was the kind of exhaustion that he didn’t think he could fix with sleep. Regardless, he still didn’t sleep very well last night, and he blamed it on Hyunjin.

First of all, Hyunjin was one of the _worst_ people to share a bed with, because he hogged the blankets and rolled over onto Minho’s side and kicked in his sleep and occasionally sleep-talked.

Second, Hyunjin really _wasn’t_ one of the worst people to share a bed with because he always, without fail, wrapped himself around Minho and buried his face in Minho’s chest or arm and Minho just couldn’t bring himself to be angry at him like he usually would be.

Third…Hyunjin was just too damn cute. And Minho was hyperaware of every single movement when the two of them shared a bed to the point where he couldn’t get more than an hour or so of dozing before he jolted awake at the sound of Hyunjin shifting in his sleep. So when morning came, he felt more exhausted than when he went to bed, and that inevitably laid the groundwork for a very grouchy day.

Except, whenever Minho woke up before Hyunjin (which was always—that kid slept like the dead), his bad mood always dissipated when he saw Hyunjin curled up next to him. This morning, he woke up to find Hyunjin with his back up against Minho’s chest, their legs tangled together, Minho’s arm wrapped around Hyunjin’s waist, and Hyunjin’s arm draped over Minho’s arm. He had taken over most of Minho’s pillow, but with one look at this Minho just…melted.

He first started realizing this strange feeling weeks ago, when he had been recovering from his ankle and had too much time to think. Usually he didn’t think and he just slept instead. But that time, he just stared up at the ceiling or at the wall and tried not to focus on the pain in his ankle or how uncomfortable his sleeping position was. He ended up checking his phone every other minute or so, though he didn’t know what he was looking for. He just knew that he was disappointed every single time he didn’t see a notification.

He figured out what it was when a week went by without him hearing or seeing Hyunjin at all. Minho had never been that much of a texter; he didn’t need to talk to people twenty-four-seven and hated it when people texted him constantly. But when he went a week without getting the usual daily bombardment of texts from Hyunjin, he found himself missing them. It was then that he started to realize that this fight was probably a lot more serious than Minho had initially thought.

In that week of Hyunjin’s silence, Minho found himself thinking about Hyunjin frequently, wondering what Hyunjin was doing or if he was okay or if he was thinking about Minho at all.

Minho blamed it on the pain from his ankle; clearly, he was not in a fit state of mind.

Then he finally saw Hyunjin, only for Hyunjin to immediately pull away again. _I don’t see the point of this anymore_, he had said. Basically, he meant—_I don’t see the point of being close to you, Lee Minho._

For what it was worth, Minho didn’t really see the point either. But he still felt uncharacteristically down when Hyunjin finally left.

Minho spent those next two weeks focusing on everything other than Hyunjin. His ankle slowly got better so he could at least walk on it, but he still couldn’t dance. He figured the lack of dancing was why he suddenly was thinking so much, because dance typically took up all of his time and energy to the point where he didn’t have much time to wonder for hours what some stupid model was doing at that very moment. He did try spending more time with his friends—he hung out with Felix and Changbin and Chan, but when he came home to an empty apartment, he realized he hadn’t stopped thinking about Hyunjin; he had just shoved the thoughts in the back of his head for the time being.

He couldn’t take it anymore as the second week rolled around and decided he needed to get out and meet other people. And he did meet some incredibly attractive, incredibly skilled people to kill a few nights with. But when he woke up the mornings after, he still felt exhausted, and he got dressed and left without even waiting for them to wake up.

Finally, near the end of the second week, he got to go back to dance, and for once, he actually stopped thinking about Hyunjin. He even was in the mood to go out and have fun that night, found someone to mess around with, and was literally on the way out of the club when Hyunjin called.

At first, Minho wasn’t going to answer it. But something about Hyunjin _calling_ him and not texting him made him sick to his stomach. So he answered.

He was so glad he did. And he didn’t feel an ounce of regret in ditching the guy he was walking out with. Instead he went to find Hyunjin.

(that little idiot had been so lucky that Minho was familiar with all the bars and clubs around here, because Minho knew exactly what Hyunjin had been talking about when he mentioned the green martini sign)

The moment he saw Hyunjin in that club, he almost lost all self-control. He almost ran right up to him to pull him into a crushing hug before kissing him. But Minho had always had impeccable self-control. (Although, he _did_ notice how hot Hyunjin looked, which also made him a bit sick to his stomach thinking that other people had noticed too and easily could have taken advantage of him)

Then, the rest of that night. And that following morning. Minho found himself tucking Hyunjin into bed—_his bed!_—and cooking breakfast the next morning. Minho never did that. He barely cooked breakfast for himself, much less for another person. But it was worth it. It was worth every second, and Minho would do it all again in a heartbeat (especially if he could wake up to a sleepy Hyunjin with smudged makeup and bedhead more often).

Minho honestly thought that this was just a blip, that they would inevitably go back to not talking again. But they didn’t. They started talking _more_ and started seeing each other more and in all honesty, Minho loved it. He really, really did.

He loved it when Hyunjin bombarded him with texts throughout the day, either as a good-morning text or as a string of random thoughts or to ask him to hang out.

He loved it when Hyunjin crashed on his couch for his three-hour naps (_seriously,_ that kid slept so much). He loved it when he came back from practice to find Hyunjin still asleep on his couch, still curled up in the same blanket Minho had tucked around him before he left.

He loved it when Hyunjin whined about what he was hungry for. He loved it when they bickered back and forth. He loved it when Hyunjin latched onto him in an attempt to get him to do something.

(though he definitely did _not_ love it when Hyunjin tried to do aegyo. Just…no.)

He loved it when they went out to get food and when Hyunjin was riding shotgun and trusting wherever Minho took them, sometimes singing along to the radio. He also loved it when he switched the station mid-song and Hyunjin immediately started whining at him.

He loved it even when Hyunjin fell silent, a thoughtful or sad expression on his face, seemingly lost in his own world. In those moments, although Hyunjin looked so sad and distant, he looked so, so beautiful, and Minho thought he could stare forever.

Then, last night, on the dance floor, Minho almost kissed him. He wanted to. He really wanted to, especially after seeing Hyunjin’s face practically glow with happiness when that song had come on. And kissing him would have fit with their scheme, right?

But Hyunjin didn’t want him to kiss him. That was their one rule in this fake relationship—no kissing. So Minho, with great difficulty, backed down.

He wondered what Hyunjin would think if Minho told him that he was developing feelings for him. That he didn’t want this to be some fake relationship anymore. That he wanted to make it something real. But Hyunjin still had feelings for Jisung—that had been obvious last night when the two of them stared at each other when Minho was literally right there. Or how Jisung’s eyes followed Hyunjin when Felix and Jeongin had dragged him onto the dance floor.

It kind of hurt, seeing both Jisung and Hyunjin clearly eye each other with so much desire. The two people Minho thought he loved but could never really have.

It seemed crazy to think that Minho had hated Hyunjin so much when Hyunjin and Jisung started dating. Minho didn’t see what there was to like about him other than the fact that he was attractive. What did Hyunjin have that Minho didn’t? Hyunjin had been a pretty face and nothing more.

And now, look at Minho. Thinking about all of this early in the morning while Hyunjin slept beside him. Unwilling to ever let go from Hyunjin in that moment.

What would happen if Minho admitted to Hyunjin that he didn’t want to do this fake relationship anymore? That he wanted to turn it into something real? Forget Jisung and Choa and all the others—what if they finally did something that _they_ wanted to do, regardless of what everyone else said?

Would Hyunjin feel the same? Or would he call Minho crazy for falling when the plan clearly stated that that wouldn’t happen?

What would Minho do if Hyunjin really did end up leaving for good this time? What would he do if they went back to being complete strangers?

Would Minho be able to handle a second heartbreak so soon after the first?

He hadn’t wanted to break up with Jisung. He had never even considered it. For once, he had wanted to commit to a relationship. It was terrifying, falling in love, but Minho had felt confident that Jisung had felt the same. Then Jisung had left him, and Minho hadn’t really been the same since.

A very small part of why Minho had even brought up the fake-dating thing with Hyunjin was because he wondered if he would ever be capable of feeling something for someone again. And it turned out he was, but what if the same thing happened with Hyunjin as it had with Jisung?

Minho, quite honestly, was terrified.

Hyunjin shifted in his sleep next to Minho, and Minho froze. He knew Hyunjin was waking up and was going to move away.

An idea popped into Minho’s head, and he quickly closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. He could feel his heart beginning to pound and worried that Hyunjin would use that to figure out that he was awake.

Hyunjin shifted again by rolling over and paused, during which Minho could feel his gaze studying his face. Minho kept his features arranged in the perfect lax expression, making himself appear that he was still in a pleasant sleep. He wanted to open his eyes and catch Hyunjin staring at him, but first he wanted Hyunjin to come back to him out of his own free will.

Hyunjin watched him for a few seconds more, then pulled away. Minho’s heart immediately sank as the chill of the room took over from the lack of Hyunjin’s body heat. He supposed that answered that question, then.

Then, he felt Hyunjin shift again, and suddenly Hyunjin was pressing his face up against Minho’s chest and wrapping his arms around Minho’s waist. Minho couldn’t help it and breathed in sharply. Hyunjin froze, and Minho quickly tried to regulate his breathing again, hoping he could trick Hyunjin into thinking he was still asleep. The seconds went by painfully slowly before Hyunjin relaxed.

Minho listened to Hyunjin’s breathing even out before he finally dared to move and put his arms around him, hugging him tightly. Hyunjin shifted again but only to snuggle closer.

And Minho couldn’t help it—he smiled, because he finally made his decision.

He was going to tell Hyunjin.

* * *

With finals week finally over, it was time for Christmas. Hyunjin _loved_ Christmas time. He loved the lights, the snow, the music, the _smells—_that cinnamon smell—plus, cuddling inside with a movie and some hot chocolate on a snow day? Incredible. He liked the general festive cheer that went around, though he expected that Minho would be somewhat of a grinch when it came to Christmas. He had a plan, though—Chan was once again throwing a party, but this time it was specifically a Christmas party (ugly sweaters encouraged), and he was bound to have his apartment decorated. So he _had _to have some mistletoe hanging somewhere. Hyunjin just had to figure out a way to get Minho to stand under it.

He could always tell Minho out of the guise of the overall scheme that they had to kiss in front of everyone else at least once. But he figured he had used that excuse to death. He also wasn’t sure if Minho would even do it, but that’s why they had to do it under the mistletoe in the middle of a Christmas party—their friends were bound to peer pressure them into actually doing it. It was a fool-proof plan, in Hyunjin’s opinion.

Hyunjin considered ditching the ugly sweater tradition for this party because, as always, he wanted to look good. Seungmin snorted when Hyunjin mentioned this to him, saying, “Don’t you want to prove that you can look good even in an ugly sweater?”

Changbin raised his eyebrows at that, while Hyunjin just stared at him, thinking, _Goddammit, he’s right._

So he did end up wearing an ugly sweater and decided to use traces of dark red eyeliner smudged out in a gradient effect at the corners of his eyes. And he _did_ make ugly sweaters look good.

He tagged along with Seungmin and Changbin again to the party, where they were overwhelmed by the festivities the moment they stepped through the door. There were Christmas lights and people everywhere, possibly double the amount of who they regularly had. Somehow Chan had managed to put up a tree in the living room, even with the low-ceiling, and there were plenty of wrapped gifts underneath, though Hyunjin wasn’t entirely sure which ones were real and which were just there for decoration.

He automatically scanned the area for Minho, even though he knew Minho wouldn’t be there for another fifteen minutes at least. He followed Seungmin and Changbin to the table set up with various bottles of alcohol, including some spiked eggnog and some suspicious-looking punch. Hyunjin decided to go with the eggnog just to try something different, and at that moment, Felix caught up with them, grinning from ear-to-ear.

“Hi guys!” he said. “Ready to _party_?”

“Oh my god what are you wearing,” Seungmin deadpanned, staring at Felix’s ugly sweater. Changbin took one look at it and choked on his drink.

Felix grinned so widely that his eyes turned into crescents. “_Felix_ Navidad!” He laughed, where he was wearing a sweater with embroidered lettering that said _Felix Navidad, _which was surrounded with glued-on Christmas lights that flashed. “Oh, oh, and get this!” He pressed a button on his sleeve, then looked at them with a goofy grin as the song, _Feliz Navidad_ started playing, but where the _Feliz_ sounded more like _Felix_.

Changbin and Hyunjin exchanged glances before bursting into laughter.

“Oh my god,” Seungmin said again.

“I know right?” Felix laughed. “Isn’t it great?”

“Fucking _legendary_,” Changbin said in between wheezes.

“Wait till you see Jeongin’s, it’s adorable,” Felix said. “Also, we’re playing stupid Christmas games in the other room. Come on, come on—the more alcohol and people, the better!” He grabbed onto Hyunjin’s wrist and tugged.

Hyunjin grinned and went along with it. He decided he would have a little fun first before going to find Minho. Or, until Minho found him. He just had to find the mistletoe before then.

Felix was right—Jeongin’s ugly sweater _was_ adorable. It was a cute cutout of a reindeer vomiting candy canes and glitter.

Hyunjin played a few games, drank about a cup and a half of the spiked eggnog, and then ended up sitting there while Felix and Jeongin played the games with some of the other partiers whom Hyunjin recognized but could remember the names of to save his life. He kept glancing around, wondering why the hell Minho wasn’t here yet.

He decided he was in need of more eggnog (or something stronger) and headed back into the main room to the drink table.

“Hi, Hyunjin!” Chan said brightly, coming up next to him. “Happy Christmas!”

Hyunjin smiled back. “_Merry_ Christmas, Chan.”

“Nope, call me Chris,” Chan said, grinning as he gestured down to his ugly sweater. Hyunjin couldn’t help groaning at the cheesy pun. _Merry Chris-mas._

“Did you and Felix plan this and decide to do terrible puns this year?” Hyunjin looked up.

“Oh, you should see Minho’s,” Chan said, still grinning.

Hyunjin blinked. “Minho’s here?”

“Yeah, last I saw him, he was in the kitchen because Jeongin made some _amazing_ cookies, like, you’re seriously missing out if you don’t try one.”

“Will do,” Hyunjin said absent-mindedly, already moving towards the kitchen.

“Oh, and—” Chan touched his arm to stop him. He smirked before leaning in and stage-whispering, “There’s mistletoe hanging over the doorway to the kitchen, so just be aware. Wouldn’t want to get caught there with, say, Minho.” He winked.

Hyunjin blinked, wondering if he had accidentally told Chan his plan. Chan just grinned, clapped his shoulder, and walked away. Hyunjin paused only for a moment before heading for the kitchen. He wanted to see Minho. And if Minho was already in the kitchen, then Hyunjin could easily carry out his plan when they left the kitchen. He was already filling with giddy warmth at the thought of finally being able to kiss him. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it would go countless times over.

Hyunjin stepped into the kitchen, only to slam to a stop. He saw Minho. But Minho didn’t see him.

Minho didn’t see him because he was too busy making out with Jisung against the kitchen counter.

Hyunjin felt something _pop_ in his chest.

Immediately, nausea filled his stomach. It filled up all the way past his stomach, where it traveled up his esophagus and into the back of his throat. He swallowed it down, and it went into his lungs instead, suffocating him.

It was like he was back at the club, with the walls closing in on him, the darkness coming in waves to drown him further. And yet that darkness never touched Minho. No, Hyunjin could still see him clearly. But Minho still hadn’t seen him.

He had no idea how long he stood there. It felt like time slowed down and then sped up, and then Hyunjin was walking out of the kitchen, through the living room, through all the different people. They all stared at him. A flash went off, and Hyunjin jumped. People were laughing. _Look, he thought he actually had a chance with Lee Minho! Look, he thought Lee Minho cared about him! Look at the dumb model who never learns!_

_ Guess he’s really nothing more than a pretty face after all._

He somehow made it to the front door, but then someone was saying his name and grabbing his shoulder. Hyunjin snapped out of it, turning around to find Seungmin gripping his shoulder, a concerned expression on his face. No one was staring at him. No one was taking pictures. The flash had been from a couple of girls taking a selfie. The laughter had been from Chan and Changbin in the corner.

Seungmin was frowning at him. “Are you drunk?”

“No,” Hyunjin said. His voice sounded so detached. So level and emotionless. “I just…I’ve gotta get out of here.”

“Okay, but let me go get Changbin—”

Hyunjin shook his head. “I just want to be alone right now.” _I’ll be alone for the rest of my life, better get used to it. _“You guys don’t have to leave because of me. I just kinda wanna go home right now.”

Seungmin blinked, still confused. “Okay,” he said reluctantly.

“I’ll text you when I get home,” Hyunjin said, giving him a small smile. Seungmin blinked at him again, his brows furrowed, but he didn’t stop him as Hyunjin opened the door and left the party.

He didn’t even remember walking home. He just remembered walking out the door of Chan’s apartment and then walking through the door to his own. It was silent. The only light came from the one over the stove. Hyunjin just stood there in the doorway, staring at the empty space in front of him. He didn’t feel anything. He was numb.

He went into his room and pulled off the sweater. He wiped off the makeup and got into the shower. But he didn’t feel the warmth of the water, even though it was turned as hot as it could go. He was numb.

He crawled into bed and stared up at the ceiling. Stared at the glow of the city through his curtains. Didn’t feel tired. Didn’t feel anything. He was numb.

His phone vibrated, and he picked it up.

**Minho:**

Wow, you just left without saying goodbye? Harsh.

Jk, jk ;) ;)

Seungmin said you left early, u ok?

Hyunjin stared at the messages blankly. Then he set his phone on the nightstand. He went back to staring up at the ceiling.

He didn’t feel anything.

He was numb.

* * *

**Minho:**

_Sat, Dec 21, 9:05 a.m._

Morning :)

Can we meet today?

Got something to tell you.

Nothing bad, I promise :)

_Sat, Dec 21,1:31 p.m._

Hey

You busy?

_Sun, Dec 22, 10:11 a.m._

Hey, um

When do you leave for home?

Just wanted to talk before u left

_Tue, Dec 24, 11:56 p.m._

Merry Christmas, Hyunjin.

* * *

Minho, despite popular belief, did not hate Christmas. He liked the festivities and he liked using the holiday as an excuse to get drunker than usual. Besides, Christmas parties were usually the craziest parties after New Year’s. Couldn’t go wrong with those.

But what had made him look forward to this Christmas season so much was, in all honesty, Hyunjin. The only reason Minho hated the holidays was because he always saw all the cute couple-y stuff and always scoffed in disgust, _Ugh, straight people._ But now, he had someone he could do all the gross couple stuff with.

In the days leading up to Chan’s Christmas Party, Minho’s head was filled with thoughts about ice skating with Hyunjin and looking at the Christmas light displays with Hyunjin (and seeing how ethereal Hyunjin would look in a multitude of soft colored light) and going sledding with Hyunjin and shoving Hyunjin into a snowdrift, only to jump in next to him and laugh with him. He was looking forward to the cozy, lazy days inside, drinking hot chocolate (even though Minho didn’t like hot chocolate) and watching Christmas movies (is Die Hard a Christmas movie, Hyunjin? Defend your claim) and cuddling under a fluffy blanket. He was looking forward to the coffee dates where they tried all the outrageous seasonal drinks, where Hyunjin would get whipped cream on his nose and Minho would laugh at him before flicking it off.

Really, it was sad how many things Minho could think of to do with Hyunjin _just_ in the Christmas season. Imagine all the things they could do in other seasons.

He was so enchanted by his fantasies that he didn’t feel worried whatsoever about seeing Hyunjin at the party. He was excited, actually. Excited to go up to Hyunjin and pull him somewhere where it would just be the two of them. Excited to tell Hyunjin how he felt. Excited to _finally_ be able to kiss Hyunjin after weeks and weeks of wondering what those plump lips felt and tasted like. Excited to finally say, with confidence, _I’m not scared anymore._

He showed up a few minutes later than usual and immediately started looking for Hyunjin. He glanced around the living room, didn’t see him, but saw Chan.

Chan laughed when he saw Minho’s ugly sweater. “Nice,” he said, offering a high-five to Minho, which Minho accepted.

It was a last-minute creation where Minho had glued on a Santa Claus and the words, _Where my (min)HO’s at?_ Minho thought it was witty.

“You should see Felix’s, it lights up _and_ sings,” Chan said.

“Oh, joy.”

“Also, try the cookies—Jeongin worked hard on them and they’re amazing.”

Minho couldn’t help giving Chan a suspicious look. “Are they, actually?”

“No,” Chan said, the word coming out as a whisper but his face staying the same expression. “They’re terrible but I told him I loved them anyways. Drink some eggnog afterwards to wash it down.”

Minho laughed at that. “Noted.”

Chan looked at him curiously. “You seem to be in a good mood.”

“I am, actually,” Minho said honestly.

“Why…?” Chan was smiling, but he blinked and tilted his head to one side in confusion.

Minho shrugged. “Dunno. Guess it’s just the good Christmas cheer. I’m gonna go find Hyunjin.” He patted Chan on the shoulder before walking away, leaving Chan to stare after him with the same confused expression.

Minho tried the kitchen first, where Changbin was loading up on cookies.

“Gonna play poker, you in?” Changbin asked on his way past.

“Nah, I’m good,” Minho said with a smirk.

“Okay. Also, careful.” Changbin jerked his head upwards. Minho looked up at the mistletoe hanging over the kitchen doorway. “Wouldn’t wanna get caught kissing the wrong person, Minho.”

“But you’d wanna kiss me, wouldn’t you, Binnie?” Minho gave him a flirty smirk.

“Not worth getting murdered by Seungmin and Hyunjin over,” Changbin said.

“Where is Hyunjin, by the way?”

“Dunno. Last I saw he was with Felix.”

Minho nodded. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Changbin paused to jerk his chin now at Minho’s sweater. “Nice sweater.”

Minho grinned as Changbin walked off. Minho decided to try Jeongin's cookies, wondering if they really were as bad as Chan said they were. And, if they were, he was definitely bringing some with to make Hyunjin try.

“Apparently these are toxic,” a voice said, and then Jisung was standing next to him at the counter, reaching across Minho for a cookie off of the plate.

“So I’ve heard,” Minho said.

“Dare you to try one.”

“Dares are boring.”

“Bet you can’t eat one with a straight face.” Jisung arched an eyebrow.

Minho smirked. “Bet how much?”

“I dunno. Couple bucks.”

Minho shrugged. “Whatever.” Then he put an entire cookie in his mouth.

Jisung smirked at him as he leaned up against the counter. Minho stared back at him as he chewed without changing from his typical resting-bitch-face. When he swallowed, Jisung let out a low whistle.

“I don’t know why I doubted you,” Jisung said.

Minho stared at him a moment longer before coughing and grabbing Jisung’s drink out of his hand. Jisung laughed at him while Minho took several gulps of the alcohol—was this _whiskey?! _Disgusting. He almost winced from the burn, but anything was better than that cookie.

“Okay, now I gotta try,” Jisung said. He picked up a cookie and took a bite. His face twisted with revulsion. He barely made it to the sink before he spat it out. “How can you mess up a cookie that much?”

“They’d be so much better with drugs in them,” Minho said with a sigh.

“Would they?” Jisung tilted his head to one side as he took up his place less than a foot away from Minho again.

“Yes, one-hundred percent,” Minho said.

Jisung smirked up at him for a few moments too long, and Minho glanced away.

“Where’s Choa?” he asked.

Jisung’s smirk vanished. “Not here,” he said, taking his drink back from Minho and downing the rest of it. “She dumped me.”

Minho’s eyebrows shot upwards. “She what?”

“Yeah.” Jisung studied his empty glass. “Right before Christmas.” He sighed, then shrugged and looked up at Minho again. “Honestly, she wasn’t that great for me anyways.”

“You seemed happy together,” Minho said, noticing how Jisung shifted forward a bit. “What happened?”

Jisung sighed again and ran his hands through his hair, a motion that Minho’s eyes followed. “I dunno. I thought we were doing fine, but…she was getting kind of distant. Always busy with school. She’s too smart for me, honestly.” He gave a small laugh. “I couldn’t keep up with her.”

“I’m sorry,” Minho said, since he wasn’t sure what else to say.

Jisung shrugged again. “Honestly…no one felt right except for you.” He glanced up, his eyes wide and a bit suggestive.

Minho heard his breath catch. He had always loved Jisung’s eyes. So big and beautiful and so full of emotion.

_Like Hyunjin’s._

“You broke up with me,” Minho said, trying to sound as disinterested as possible, but he could never keep a slight edge of longing out of his voice whenever he talked to Jisung.

“I know,” Jisung said, once again shifting closer. “I know, and that was the worst mistake I’ve ever made. I’ve been dating other people in an attempt to replace you, but no one can replace you. No one even comes close to you, Minho.”

He was saying everything Minho had wanted to hear months ago. With a pang, Minho couldn’t help thinking that this was what Hyunjin had wanted to hear as well.

“Jisung—” Minho started to say when Jisung kissed him.

Minho stopped functioning. He felt the familiarity, the softness, the urgency, the _longing_—and he couldn’t hold back. He kissed Jisung back, reaching out to cup Jisung’s face. A familiar heat settled into the pits of his stomach, which only increased when Jisung pressed closer and parted Minho’s lips before sliding his tongue past them. But the heat never spread anywhere near Minho’s heart like he thought it would. Why wasn’t his heart burning too?

He pulled back several moments later than he should have.

“Stop, stop,” Minho said, putting a hand on Jisung’s chest to hold him back.

“Why?” Jisung smirked and tried to kiss him again, but Minho leaned away.

“Don’t,” Minho said.

Jisung kept that insufferable (and hella attractive) smirk on his face as he tilted his head to one side. “Y’know, you’re still the best kisser,” he murmured.

Minho just gave him an unimpressed look. “What are you doing?”

Jisung shrugged. “Isn’t it obvious? I want you back, Minho. And, based on how you just kissed me, you want me too.”

_That’s a lie, that’s a lie_, Minho thought, but…

He did want Jisung back. That was the problem.

“It’s too late for that,” Minho said, pushing Jisung back a little bit more so he could breathe properly. “I’m with someone else now.”

Jisung frowned, then rolled his eyes. “Oh, god, don’t tell me you _actually_ have feelings for Hwang Hyunjin.”

Minho looked him right in the eye and said, “Fine. I won’t.”

Jisung’s smug look faded from his face as he studied Minho. “You’re kidding, right? He’s so not your type. He’s loud and whiny and clingy and not much else. I mean, I guess you could look past all of that based on how pretty his face is but…that’s shallow, Minho, even for you.”

“He’s not,” Minho said. “He’s not just some pretty face. He’s sweet and caring and a hell of a lot stronger than you are, let me tell you. Just because he happened to be gifted with perfect features doesn’t mean that’s all there is to him.”

Jisung just rolled his eyes again, and the heat that had been coiled in Minho’s gut finally moved elsewhere, as in, all throughout his body.

“You know what I think?” Minho arched an eyebrow at Jisung. “I think you’re projecting.”

Jisung narrowed his eyes at him, and Minho scoffed, “Have you ever thought for a moment that you’re so unhappy in all of your relationships because you’re not even happy when you’re alone?”

“Oh, who’s projecting now?” Jisung shot back.

The way he clenched his jaw and looked away, though, made Minho’s anger dissipate. Now he just felt sympathetic for Jisung. “How many people have complimented you lately, Jisung?”

“Loads,” Jisung said, crossing his arms.

Minho didn’t fall for it. “You don’t think you’re good enough for anything, do you?”

“I know I am,” Jisung said.

Minho shook his head. “You don’t have to put up a front with me. I can tell when you’re lying. And I can tell that you’re not happy at all with the person you are.”

Jisung once again did the motion of clenching his jaw and looking away, but Minho could tell this time that he was trying to hold back.

“Just stop, Jisung,” Minho said softly. “Stop trying to prove to people that you’re talented enough or smart enough or attractive enough. Just being yourself is enough. You don’t have to tone yourself down just to fit other people’s standards.”

“I just feel like I can’t do anything right,” Jisung whispered, his gaze falling to the floor. “I’m always ‘too busy’ or ‘not busy enough’ or ‘too loud’ or ‘not loud enough’ and it’s just…it’s exhausting. I feel like there are so many different things demanding my full attention that I just physically can’t handle it all.” He sighed and covered his face with his hands. “Is it bad that it hurt so much when Choa left but that I’m kind of…relieved now? It’s one less thing I have to worry about, and that’s such an awful thing to say.”

Minho couldn’t help frowning. “Is that why you break up with people so often? Because it’s too overwhelming?”

Jisung dropped his hands just enough so his eyes were visible, and Minho saw the answer in them.

“If you didn’t think you could handle it, then why did you go rushing into one right after the other?”

“You know why,” Jisung said. When Minho just looked at him, waiting for him to admit it out loud, he sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Because I don’t like being alone. I hate myself so much that I can’t stand being by myself for too long. It’s like…it’s like I need other people to remind me that I’m worth something.”

“You’re worth something,” Minho said without missing a beat. “And, just so you know, I’m here for you, okay? As a friend.”

Jisung wiped at his eyes before dropping his hands from his face and nodding. “I think I just want you back in my life as a friend. I think I miss you in that way.”

“But just had to kiss and make sure, right?” Minho smirked.

Jisung smirked back and shrugged. “Well, hey, kissing is good too. We could have a friends-with-benefits thing.”

Minho shook his head. “No, I’m loyal, you know that.”

Jisung’s smirk faded, replaced by a more serious expression. Except, this one looked more thoughtful than jealous. “So you really do like Hyunjin?”

“More than that.”

Jisung raised his eyebrows. “You love him?”

Minho nodded, suddenly unable to look Jisung in the eye.

To his surprise, Jisung smiled. “You should tell him. He’s the kind of guy who needs verbal confirmation. I’m the exact same way.” He sighed and turned so his back was up against the counter, and he rested his elbows on it.

“I’m going to tell him, actually,” Minho said. “Tonight.”

“Under the mistletoe?” Jisung grinned and elbowed Minho playfully.

“I wasn’t going to be that cliche but…” Minho rolled his eyes. “I’ll admit that that would be very cute.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Lee Minho?” Jisung widened his eyes at him.

Minho snorted and shoved him, making Jisung laugh.

“I hope it goes well,” Jisung said.

“Thank you,” Minho said.

Jisung nodded, and for a moment, they just smiled at each other.

Then Minho said, “You’ll be okay, Jisung.”

“Thanks, Minho.” Jisung’s smile turned somewhat sad, but there was also a hint of determination in his eyes. “It’ll be rough, but I think I will be. Thanks for putting up with me.”

“Hey, what are boyfriends-turned-ex-boyfriends-turned-friends for?”

Jisung laughed again. “Makeup sex?”

Minho made a noise of disgust and shoved him again.

“Anyways.” Jisung giggled as he regained his balance. “Go find Hyunjin.”

Minho smiled. “If I don’t see you before then, Merry Christmas, Jisung.”

Jisung smiled back, the widest, genuine smile Minho had seen from him in awhile. “Merry Christmas, Minho.”

Then, with that, Minho left him there to go find Hyunjin. He didn’t know how this was possible, but his heart was fluttering with even more excitement than before. _Things were going to be okay_, he thought. _Things are working out._

He scanned the living room again, but still didn’t see Hyunjin. He spotted Seungmin and Changbin, though, talking to each other. He didn’t realize until he was right next to them that they both looked anxious.

“Hey, guys,” he said, and they both looked at him. “Do you know where Hyunjin is?”

“Oh.” Seungmin glanced at Changbin, an unspoken conversation passing between them. Minho glanced in between the two of them, arching an eyebrow and waiting for one of them to answer him.

“He just left,” Seungmin said finally.

Minho blinked. “What?”

“Yeah, he just said he was tired and that he wanted to go home,” Changbin said.

“Is he okay?” Minho frowned at him.

Changbin looked at Seungmin, who shrugged. “He wasn’t crying or having a panic attack, so he seemed fine,” Seungmin said. “He looked a little out of it but I think that was just part of the alcohol. But he wasn’t drunk,” he added quickly when panic crossed Minho’s face. “Trust me, you know when Hyunjin’s drunk. This wasn’t it.”

“He’s probably fine,” Changbin said. “Just kind of done with socializing for the night.”

Minho nodded. “Yeah, of course. Thanks.” He gave them a smile before walking away to go find someone else to talk to. He ended up on the couch next to Chan, where he pulled out his phone and sent Hyunjin a quick text. He was a bit disappointed that he hadn’t been able to see Hyunjin at all tonight, but he wasn’t completely discouraged. He would see him tomorrow. He would see him tomorrow, and he would tell him. Everything was still going to work out. And then, who knew, maybe they could spend Christmas together (at least Christmas Eve, since Christmas Day was sort of reserved for family, even though Minho would much rather spend time with Hyunjin than his family).

Hyunjin didn’t reply, but that still didn’t put a damper on Minho’s hopeful mood. He had probably just fallen asleep. Minho was confident that Hyunjin would text back first thing in the morning.

* * *

Hyunjin didn’t text back that morning. Minho still wanted to see him that day—maybe even spend the day together—so he overcame his hatred of sending multiple texts and sent Hyunjin another one, asking if they could meet that day.

Once again, Hyunjin didn’t respond. Okay, Minho thought, maybe he was just sleeping in late. It _was_ a Saturday, after all, and Minho knew how much that kid liked to sleep. So he waited until after lunch.

Still no response. Minho sent another text, thinking they could still spend the afternoon and the night together. The thought of spending the night with Hyunjin again, of being able to hug Hyunjin close with no hesitations, sent warmth coursing throughout Minho’s body.

But Hyunjin still didn’t respond.

Minho figured he could always call him, but he didn’t want to overreact. Maybe Hyunjin’s phone was dead. Or maybe he was just busy. Minho could hold off and act like a rational person without jumping to conclusions.

When he still had yet to receive any kind of response from Hyunjin, Minho started to fear the worse. Was Hyunjin mad at him? For what? What had Minho done that would send Hyunjin into such silence? He hadn’t even seen him at the Christmas party, so it had to be something else.

Or, what if Hyunjin had heard that Minho actually had feelings for him? Was this a rejection? Was this Hyunjin sending a message all on his own that there was something wrong with Minho for developing real feelings in a fake relationship?

The only person he semi-trusted in the least with a somewhat warped version of the truth was Chan. Chan was the only somewhat sensible person in this friend group.

“I don’t know what I did!” Minho exclaimed in exasperation that Saturday night, when he was over at Chan's. Even though Chan didn’t want to see any people for the next _week_ after the chaos that had resulted from the Christmas party, Minho kind of just let himself in and made himself comfortable. “I don’t understand why he’s not responding!”

“He’s probably just busy,” Chan said while the two of them lounged on the couch. “He’s leaving early Monday for home, and then it’s Christmas Eve. There’s loads of things he probably has to do before then.”

“But he’s never left me on read for this long before,” Minho said, only to remember, specifically, two times before when Hyunjin had been so silent. “Okay, he has, but those were after fights. We literally didn’t fight! Everything was great, and then I didn’t even see him at the party!”

Chan quickly took a drink of his water and looked away, almost sheepishly, and Minho immediately narrowed his eyes.

“What,” Minho said. “You know something, don’t you?”

“So maybe you didn’t see him at the party,” Chan began, “but do you think there might have been a possibility that _he_ saw _you_…?”

Minho blinked, not comprehending. Minho would have known if Hyunjin had seen him. He had been looking for Hyunjin the entire time. Well, except for—

Minho’s eyes widened. “Oh fuck.”

“Yeah,” Chan said, sounding pained.

“Oh _fuck._” Minho raked his hands through his hair. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—”

“Okay, you can stop that,” Chan said.

“But that didn’t mean anything!” Minho exclaimed. “It was just a kiss, nothing else!”

“Yeah, but…kissing is kind of a big deal, especially when you’re in a relationship—” Chan began when Minho swore again at the top of his lungs.

He had forgotten how much Hyunjin valued kissing in real relationships. And then he had seen Minho kissing his ex-boyfriend. How did that _not_ look as bad as it was?

Minho covered his face with his hands, thinking, _I need a drink._

“It was an accident,” he mumbled. “Jisung kissed me.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Chan said. “It looks the same.”

But Hyunjin had to understand that Minho didn’t cheat. If he was in a relationship—even a fake one—he didn’t mess around on the side. It was basic common decency. Besides, how could Minho ever want to cheat on someone he really cared about?

Except, Hyunjin _didn’t_ understand that. _You’re basically a fuckboi,_ he had said once. _And fuckbois aren’t exactly known for being faithful._

It cut to the bone.

He knew he had to fix this. He had to explain to Hyunjin that it had been a mistake, that he didn’t have feelings for Jisung anymore, and that he and Jisung had worked things out. But would Hyunjin even believe him? And would he even listen long enough to hear Minho confess? Or would he even care?

Minho sent him one more text that Sunday morning, thinking Hyunjin would at least look at this one.

He got his hopes up again.

He didn’t text Hyunjin at all on Monday. He wanted to be with someone, but everyone was already leaving for their parents’ houses to spend the holiday with family, even Jisung. He briefly considered going to a bar to find someone to kill the night with, but ultimately decided against it. Life choices like that were what led him to this situation in the first place. Besides, Minho figured he would imagine Hyunjin the entire time.

Then it was Christmas Eve. Minho broke into the alcohol a little too early. A few minutes before midnight, he caved and texted Hyunjin again. He didn’t expect a response this time, though there was still the smallest sliver of hope that Hyunjin would finally break his silence.

But he didn’t, because he was probably like everyone else and enjoying the company of his family on a holiday.

Minho turned off his phone and went back to drinking alone in his apartment.

* * *

Christmas Day and Christmas dinner were terrible. Minho hated every second of it. He drank a little too much and spent too much time with his three cats, avoiding his family. Things had never been quite the same ever since Minho had come out to them. The tension was still as irritating as ever. He ate dinner, exchanged gifts, drank some more alcohol, and left. He went back to his empty apartment.

New Year’s Eve came around. Unsurprisingly, Chan and Changbin were having a small get-together, but this time they invited Minho and no one else. Everyone else was still spending the holidays with their family. Changbin tried lightening Minho’s mood by jokingly saying he could kiss him once the clock struck midnight. Minho responded by downing his flute of champagne without even waiting for midnight. Even though it made his head feel delightfully bubbly, his heart still hurt.

Around one a.m., he drove back to his empty apartment.

* * *

Winter break ended the last week of January. It had been a month since Minho had heard from Hyunjin. He hadn’t dared to text him again, though he had come close a couple times, usually the times when he was too drunk to comprehend what he was doing. Somehow he always managed to keep himself from texting, or worse, calling.

He asked Changbin one day when they were hanging out how Hyunjin was doing. But what he really wanted to ask is, _Does he miss me at all?_

Changbin frowned. “He’s okay,” he said.

“Oh.” Minho’s heart sank. “That’s good.”

“It’s not, actually.” When Minho frowned at him, Changbin explained, “He’s too quiet and too…collected, I guess. Seungmin said that he hasn’t cried at _all_.”

That hurt even more. Minho wasn’t even worth crying over.

“It’s weird,” Changbin said. “I keep waiting for him to break.”

“He won’t,” Minho said quietly, but Changbin didn’t hear him.

“Are you gonna try to talk to him?” Changbin squinted against the sunlight as they walked down the city street.

Minho shrugged. “He probably doesn’t want to talk to me. He usually doesn’t.”

“You should still talk to him, though.”

“If you can get him to answer my texts, then sure.”

“Just go over to his apartment.” Changbin shrugged. “Talk face-to-face. Don’t be such a coward, Minho.”

Minho whipped his head around to stare at him. “Who are you calling coward?!”

Changbin let out somewhat of a squeak and quickly apologized as Minho made a move as though to attack him, though Minho just ended up putting him in a headlock for a few seconds before shoving him away. At that point they were both laughing, so he didn’t feel too bad.

But the next day, Minho found himself standing outside Hyunjin’s apartment, his fist lifted to knock on the door. He didn’t know why he was holding himself back. What if Hyunjin wasn’t home? What if he was, and what if he slammed the door in Minho’s face? Minho wasn’t sure what he would do if Hyunjin didn’t talk to him. He just…he needed to see Hyunjin. That’s all. He told himself he could get by with at least seeing Hyunjin once more, even if it was only for a split second before Hyunjin kicked him out.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He listened to footsteps approach the door, could feel the eyes on him through the peephole. The door unlocked, and then Seungmin was standing there, blinking at him.

“Minho,” he said.

“Hey,” Minho said. “Is Hyunjin home?”

“He’s not,” Seungmin said.

“Oh. Do you know when he’ll be back?”

Seungmin shook his head. “I don’t, sorry. He doesn’t really talk to me much these days.”

That was weird, and Seungmin must have seen the confusion on Minho’s face. He sighed and opened the door a bit wider. “Do you want to come in?”

Minho nodded. Seungmin gave a small smile before stepping out of the way to let Minho in. He glanced around the apartment out of habit, noticing how there were still Christmas lights up. Other than that, it looked as clean as it always did, though Minho supposed most of that was because of Seungmin.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Seungmin asked, heading for the kitchen.

“Well, it’s too early for margaritas, so…water?”

Seungmin smirked at that before pulling out two glasses and filling them with water. He set one on the counter across from Minho.

“Thanks,” Minho said.

Seungmin nodded wordlessly and studied Minho as Minho sipped at his water. Minho stared back, daring Seungmin to speak first. Seungmin was usually unfazed by Minho’s staring contests, but he said, “Hyunjin told me everything.”

“I thought you said he wasn’t speaking to you.”

“Well, not in the day. At night it’s like he’s a different person.” Seungmin shook his head. “I honestly thought he was possessed or something because I came out here in the middle of the night to get a drink of water and he was just sitting there, staring out the window.”

Minho frowned.

“Turned out he just couldn’t sleep,” Seungmin explained. “But…yeah, he told me about your plan and everything. You didn’t make the plan to help him, though, did you? You made it for yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

“You wanted to make Jisung jealous of _you_ so he would get back with _you_,” Seungmin said, somehow managing to keep his voice completely level and void of any accusatory tone. “And it worked.”

“No,” Minho said, shaking his head. “That’s not why I did it, and the joke’s on me anyways. Jisung isn’t going to be in any kind relationship anytime soon.” He was actually kind of proud of Jisung for deciding to focus only on himself for the next few months and actively trying to improve his mental state. Or, trying as hard as he could with a mental illness. And Minho had promised to help him in any way that he could.

“Mm.” Minho could tell that Seungmin didn’t believe him.

Minho sighed. “I fucked up, okay? I’m trying to fix it.”

“I think it’s a little late for that, now,” Seungmin said.

“Why do you say that?”

Seungmin opened his mouth to reply, but then the front door was opening, and Hyunjin was running inside.

“Minnie!” he was shouting, a grin on his face. “Minnie! You’re not gonna _believe_ what I just—” He slammed to a stop when he saw Minho standing there, having turned around from facing Seungmin to face the front door. Minho saw the grin and the light completely fade from Hyunjin’s face, and the pain in his chest only worsened when Hyunjin said, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to see you,” Minho said. “You wouldn’t answer my texts. I got worried.” He gave a half-smile, hoping to lighten the mood a little bit, but Hyunjin just stared at him with a blank expression.

Seungmin coughed behind Minho. “I’m, uh, I’ll be in my room.” Then he bolted into his room and shut the door behind him.

Hyunjin eyes followed Seungmin before darting back to Minho. There was a wary look in his eye, and Minho couldn’t help noticing how he had stopped several feet away from him, just out of reach.

He was waiting for Minho to speak, and Minho took a deep breath, hating how he had to start this conversation. He didn’t even know how to start. “So, um…how are you?”

Hyunjin blinked, a bitter look taking over his face. “You came here just to ask me _that_?”

“No,” Minho said quickly, already regretting how this was going. “I just…I wanted to see you.”

“Well, you saw me.” Hyunjin looked away. “You can go.”

“No, we need to talk,” Minho said, putting a hand out as though to stop Hyunjin, but Hyunjin wasn’t going anywhere. “Please, can we just talk?”

“What, so you can ‘explain’?” Hyunjin scowled at him, but it looked too exhausted to be effective.

“_Yes_,” Minho said.

“I don’t want to hear whatever you have to say. I get it, the whole plan was actually to get _you_ back with Jisung, and now you’ve done it and now we can end this for good.” Hyunjin waved the thought away.

“No, that was _not_ the plan.” Minho took a step forward, and Hyunjin flinched. The small action did an impressive amount of damage on Minho’s heart. How could Hyunjin think that Minho would ever willingly do something to hurt him? “The plan was stupid. Let’s just forget about it.”

Hyunjin snorted at that.

Minho sighed before saying, “I did kiss Jisung. I could make the excuse that he kissed me first and so on, but I’m the one who didn’t pull away right away. But I’m sorry, Hyunjin. It didn’t mean anything.”

Hyunjin just shook his head, looking anywhere but Minho. “Did you know that he threatened me?”

“What?”

“Yeah. He thought Choa was cheating on him with me and then he threatened to break my nose. And he said that I wasn’t allowed to date you.” Hyunjin swallowed. “He said that you weren’t mine and that you never would be because caring about other people isn’t your thing. I guess he was right.”

Minho stared at him, his jaw dropped. It was rare that someone managed to render him speechless, but this…this was something else.

“I know you were just pretending for the sake of getting back at Jisung,” Hyunjin continued. “But it’s over now. Jisung wants you. So you can leave and pretend like this never happened.”

“No, I don’t want to. And I don’t want Jisung. I want _you_. I…” Minho swallowed, thinking he was about ten seconds away from never being able to be with Hyunjin ever again, and it made him panic. He had to make Hyunjin stay.

“I love you, Hyunjin.”

Something flickered in Hyunjin’s expression as he finally looked at Minho. There was the smallest amount of light in his eyes, and Minho thought once again that things might be okay, that they would get through this and everything would turn out like he had hoped they would.

But that small light in Hyunjin’s eyes distinguished as he shook his head and took a step back. “No, you don’t.”

Minho couldn’t breathe. “What?”

“I think you should leave.” Hyunjin crossed his arms, but based on how tightly he crossed them, it looked like he was trying to make himself appear as small as possible.

Minho didn’t move. “No, come on, Hyunjin—”

“Please leave,” Hyunjin whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.

Minho wanted to hug him. He wanted to hug him and hold him tightly and tell him that Jisung had been wrong, that the two of them could be together and that Minho was capable of caring. He had always been capable of caring. Maybe he just showed it in a different way than other people, but he did care. And he cared so much about Hyunjin that it was back to scaring him.

He made a move towards Hyunjin, but Hyunjin flinched again, even though he couldn’t even see Minho. Was it that instinctual every time Minho tried to touch him?

Minho swallowed back the lump in his throat. He wanted to say something, anything that would change Hyunjin’s mind. But he had already run out of everything he had to say.

So, he left. He stepped through that apartment door and shut it behind him. The sound of it closing behind him sounded too definite, too final. He almost lost his composure right there in the hallway.

But he managed to go home. He managed to step into his empty apartment. He managed to go into the kitchen and fill a glass of water. But his hand was shaking too much when he tried to lift it to his lips.

He didn’t remember sitting down on the kitchen floor. All of a sudden he was just there. His throat and his eyes and the gaping hole where his heart used to be were all burning.

For the first time in months, Minho cried.

* * *

The past month had passed in such a disconnected blur for Hyunjin.

Christmas was ruined. He tried putting on a smile and acting cheerful around his family, but it hurt too much. He knew they all could see something was wrong, but they probably figured it was still leftover heartbreak from Jisung, since he had never told anyone in his family about Minho. They were all too gentle with him, which frustrated him to no end.

_I’m not some delicate doll!_ he wanted to scream. _I won’t break!!!_

But he knew he would if they even so much as asked if he was okay.

He threw himself into activities, never giving himself a single moment to himself. He was trying to distract himself, trying to just keep moving, because the moment he paused for a break, he would fall apart.

Eventually Christmas passed, and then New Year’s came. Hyunjin was still at home with his family and some of his childhood friends, watching the ball drop, and listening to everyone wish each other a happy New Year’s. He felt like he was somehow disconnected from his own body as he watched everyone laugh and clink glasses and kiss and hug and promise another year together.

One of his cousins collapsed on the couch next to him, nudging him. “Ey, new year, new you! What’s your resolution?”

_To not fall in love again,_ Hyunjin almost said, but he put on a smile and said, “To work hard!”

“Ahh, lame.” But his cousin smirked and ruffled Hyunjin’s hair.

After New Year’s, he went back to his apartment to find Seungmin there. For a few days, everything was fine. Hyunjin didn’t feel like he was suffocating as much from trying to pretend that he was okay.

Then he stopped being able to sleep. He started zoning out. He didn’t even realize he would zone out until Seungmin came home one day to find Hyunjin sitting on the couch, staring at the TV, which wasn’t even on.

“Hyunjin?” Seungmin asked with a frown.

Hyunjin snapped out of it and looked at Seungmin with a smile. “Oh, hey. Didn’t hear you come home.”

Seungmin just eyed him warily.

One night he couldn’t sleep, so he decided to get up and go into the living room and watch TV until he passed out. But he ended up staring out the window at the city, zoning out once again.

He didn’t know how long he stood there. Hours, maybe. But then Seungmin’s voice said, “Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin jumped and turned to see Seungmin standing at the edge of the living room, now looking thoroughly concerned and a bit terrified.

“Did I wake you up?” Hyunjin asked.

Seungmin shook his head slowly, his eyes still on Hyunjin’s face. “Are you okay?”

A lump rose in Hyunjin’s throat as he put on a smile. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Seungmin didn’t even need to say anything. He just looked at Hyunjin, and then Hyunjin lost his grip. He broke, and all of the suppressed emotions from the past month came rushing out.

Seungmin murmured soothing words of comfort as he put his arms around Hyunjin and guided him to the couch. There, he rubbed Hyunjin’s back as Hyunjin cried and cried for what felt like hours. The tears just kept coming, but Seungmin never stopped comforting him.

He ended up telling Seungmin everything, expecting some sort of judgment in return, but Seungmin never gave him one. He just listened until Hyunjin grew too exhausted from it all and passed out on the couch.

The weeks passed. Hyunjin killed time by watching Netflix and by reading and by doing more modeling work than before. He never really remembered any movies he watched or books he read or what kind of photoshoots he did. It was like he blinked, zoned out, and then it was suddenly all over. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it was some sort of mental disorder or some sort of drug.

On one particularly bad night, he blamed his lack of adequate sleep for the dark thoughts that went rampant around his head, which worsened when he stared at his reflection and wondered how terrible it would be if he found a way to spite his face. Would it be liberating if he suddenly became physically ugly in the eyes of society?

(that got him questioning what society considered beautiful and what it considered ugly and why, and suddenly it was six a.m. and he still hadn’t slept a wink)

Then, things seemed to turn around just for a split second. Long story short, he found a stray dog on his way home, immediately took pity on it, and wanted to bring it home. He ended up calling the animal shelter instead but fully planned on going to the shelter later that day (with Seungmin and Changbin, most likely) to adopt that dog.

The dog had lifted his mood so much that he had sprinted home to tell Seungmin the good news, only to find Minho of all people in the apartment.

Immediately everything came crashing down.

That conversation had not gone well. Hyunjin couldn’t look at Minho anymore without flashing back to that moment in the kitchen when he had caught him kissing Jisung. It sent the pain coursing through him like it was fresh again.

Worse, he wanted to believe Minho. He really did. After all, this was what he always wanted, wasn’t it? To love someone who loved him back? But this wasn’t it. Minho didn’t mean that—he was just saying anything to get Hyunjin to forget about him and Jisung. He was just saying that so they could go back to how things were before, where Minho was back to his status as a heartbreaker while he got the best of both worlds by being with both Hyunjin and Jisung.

Hyunjin didn’t want to be a front anymore. He wanted something real. But apparently he didn’t deserve something real.

Seungmin came out of his room after Minho had left, his face full of concern and a bit of confusion. Hyunjin just stood there, staring blankly at the floor, still hugging himself like he was trying to figure out if he was still there or not.

“Did you hear all that?” Hyunjin heard himself ask.

“Yes,” Seungmin said quietly.

Hyunjin nodded.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Hyunjin blinked and looked up, his eyes completely dry. “I’ll be in my room.”

Seungmin watched him go with wide eyes, probably waiting for Hyunjin to break down.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t end up going to the shelter that day, even when Seungmin asked him quietly later that night what he had been so excited about earlier that day. Hyunjin just shrugged and said the sky had looked pretty. He knew Seungmin didn’t believe him, but Seungmin didn’t press.

More days passed. Nothing really changed. Apparently that concerned Seungmin and Changbin, because they planned an intervention like a pair of concerned parents (Hyunjin had always thought Chan was the concerned dad of the group, but oh well).

Hyunjin was in his room, trying to watch another Netflix movie and zoning out throughout the entire thing. He heard a knock on his door, and, figuring it would be Seungmin, said, “Yeah?”

The door opened, and Jisung of all people stood there in the doorway. Hyunjin immediately tensed, knowing that Choa had broken up with him a month ago after that conversation with Hyunjin. But if Jisung was going to attack him now, Hyunjin could at least use his laptop as a shield and/or weapon.

Jisung didn’t look angry, though. He looked strangely concerned. “I brought ice cream,” he said, lifting a plastic bag with two tubs of ice cream in it.

“I don’t want it,” Hyunjin said, immediately assuming that it was poisoned or something.

“You sure? It’s chocolate chip cookie dough.” Jisung paused before giving a small smile and saying, “Your favorite.”

“You can leave it in the freezer and go,” Hyunjin said. “Why are you even here? To gloat? Congrats, you got Minho. Or are you still going to permanently disfigure my face?”

“I’m here to make sure you’re okay,” Jisung said. “And clearly you aren’t because I’ve never known you to actually turn down ice cream.”

“You’re about four months too late to make sure I’m okay.”

Jisung sighed and stared down at the floor. “Yeah. I am, aren’t I. Would you listen to me or believe me if I apologized?”

Hyunjin snorted. “You think an apology would cut it?”

“No, but an apology and ice cream might.” Jisung glanced up with those big eyes of his, a bit too hopefully.

Hyunjin narrowed his eyes at him, but he hesitated. Jisung took that hesitation and ran with it by now giving Hyunjin a small, sympathetic smile.

“Sooo…ice cream?” Jisung lifted up the bag again.

Hyunjin scowled but rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

“Yay!” Jisung kicked the door closed and immediately flopped down onto Hyunjin’s bed. He took out the tub of chocolate chip cookie dough, stuck a spoon in it, and held it out to Hyunjin. Hyunjin was a bit annoyed at how Jisung had just invited himself to sit on his bed, but he ignored it in favor of focusing on the ice cream.

Jisung waited several moments, where he nervously tapped the back of his heel against the edge of Hyunjin’s bed, while Hyunjin tried not to zone out again as he ate the ice cream. At least he could actually eat things, now. At Christmas, his family had been concerned when he didn’t eat much, and he had lied and said he was under a new diet. He figured he had probably lost a couple pounds and that he should probably start eating a bit more to prevent himself from becoming underweight or borderline anorexic. But that all depended on if he could even keep food down.

“So,” Jisung said when a few moments of silence passed.

“I don’t hear an apology,” Hyunjin said.

“Right.” Jisung took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Hyunjin. For everything. I was heartless and not very nice to you and—”

“Not very nice? You were downright _cruel._”

“Okay well you weren’t a saint either!”

Hyunjin shot him a look, and Jisung sighed.

“We’re not going to fight,” he said, though it sounded like he was reminding himself that more than anything. “How about this—you trusted me, and I hurt you. There’s really no forgiving that, but I’m still sorry for all the pain I caused.”

Hyunjin blinked, honestly not believing that Jisung was capable of such a mature statement, but he swallowed and said, “It’s fine.”

“No, no, no.” Jisung gave him a look. “Meet me halfway. Please.”

“You don’t deserve that,” Hyunjin said.

“You’re right, I don’t.” Jisung sighed. “Meet me a quarter of the way?”

“What even is a quarter of the way?”

“Well it’s definitely not ‘it’s fine’.”

Fair enough. Hyunjin knew he would want something more than just a passive “it’s fine” if he was sincerely apologizing to someone, so he said, “I accept your apology, but it is not okay. It’s never okay to do what you did to me to anyone.”

“You’re right,” Jisung said. “Though, if it makes you feel any better, I kinda got a taste of my own medicine.” When Hyunjin didn’t respond, Jisung explained, “Choa broke up with me.”

Hyunjin was still wary of Jisung suddenly snapping and breaking his nose, but he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “I know, that’s why you immediately went after Minho. _My_ boyfriend.”

“Yeah,” Jisung whispered, staring down at the melting ice cream in his hands.

Rage suddenly boiled up in Hyunjin’s chest. “So you acknowledge that you willingly went after Minho, knowing that he was my boyfriend and that he would willingly cheat on me if given the opportunity? Just so you could prove that he doesn’t care about me? Was this just an _I-told-you-so_?”

Jisung leaned back, his eyes wide with surprise, and Hyunjin realized then that he had leaned forward into Jisung’s space. He quickly leaned back, stabbing at the ice cream as he scoffed, “Get it over with, then. You were right. Minho isn’t faithful and he doesn’t care about me and he’d much rather be with you.”

When Jisung stayed silent, Hyunjin paused to glare up at him.

“I’m not going to tell you ‘I told you so’,” Jisung said. “I will say that I was wrong. Minho is faithful, and he does care about you, and he would rather be with you than me. He told me all of that.”

“I don’t believe you,” Hyunjin said.

“Then that’s your problem,” Jisung scoffed. “But it’s the truth.”

Hyunjin felt himself frown, and Jisung’s face softened. “He told you that, didn’t he? He told you all of that, but you didn’t believe him, did you?”

Hyunjin looked back down at the ice cream.

“Jesus, Hyunjin,” Jisung said softly. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“I’m not doing anything,” Hyunjin retorted.

“Yes, you are. You’re causing more pain for yourself by not believing anything anyone tells you. What, do you think it’s easier if you always deny that anyone could ever have feelings for you?”

“It’s safer.” Hyunjin didn’t look up at Jisung, knowing that he was on the verge of tears all of a sudden and that he did _not_ want to cry in front of Jisung.

Jisung blinked again in surprise, and then understanding crossed his face. “I did that, didn’t I.” When Hyunjin didn’t respond, he continued, “You don’t trust anyone anymore after what I did to you, is that it?”

“Don’t think so highly of yourself,” Hyunjin scoffed, but his lip trembled, and he quickly swallowed back the tears again.

Jisung set down his ice cream and scooted closer to Hyunjin. “Hyunjin,” he said, trying to take Hyunjin’s hands in his own, but Hyunjin wouldn’t let him. After trying and failing to grab Hyunjin’s hands a few times more, Jisung finally just gave up before saying, “Minho really isn’t that kind of person. When I told you that he didn’t care and that he was just going to break your heart, I was angry and afraid and needed to take it out on someone. But if you don’t believe anything anyone tells you, then why would you believe me when I told you all that?”

Hyunjin blinked a few times, more to keep the tears at bay than anything.

“Honestly, has Minho given you any reason to doubt that he doesn’t care about you?” Jisung was staring into Hyunjin’s eyes, searching for an answer. “Seriously, give me one instance where he was downright mean to you.”

“When he hurt his ankle and I tried to help him,” Hyunjin said without missing a beat.

“Okay, first of all, you and I should both know by now that Minho is too damn proud to ask for or accept help. Second, he was in pain, and third, he couldn’t dance. He would have been nasty to anyone else. It wasn’t personal.” Jisung paused for a moment before saying, “So, when has he done anything to show that he cares about you?”

Hyunjin squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “None of it was _real_. The whole thing was just some act to get back at you.”

“I know,” Jisung said, making Hyunjin open his eyes. Jisung gave him a small smile. “Everyone knows. Basically, Seungmin can’t keep a secret.”

“And you still think he actually cares about me?”

“Oh my god.” Jisung rolled his eyes. “_Yes_, Hyunjin! Literally ask anyone with _eyes_ and they’ll tell you how Minho literally looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky or something! He’s fallen for you _hard._”

Hyunjin wanted to argue, but things were already shifting inside his head. _Maybe…Minho wasn’t lying?_

“He never told me he loved me,” Jisung said. Hyunjin look at him in surprise, and Jisung smiled. “He hates doing that. It’s probably the second thing he’s most afraid of.”

“Second?” Hyunjin frowned.

“Well, yeah, he’s fucking terrified of heights.”

Hyunjin couldn’t help it and let out a bark of laughter. Jisung grinned, then said, “Seriously, Hyunjin—Minho loves you. He really does. And believe me when I say that he’s in as much pain as you are right now.”

Hyunjin’s smile faded. “I did that.”

“Yeah, you did.” Jisung sighed.

“Would he even want me back?”

Jisung reached out and smacked Hyunjin upside the head.

“Ow!” Hyunjin automatically recoiled and put a hand to his head. He gave Jisung a wounded look. “What was that for?”

“Every time you say something stupid, I’m hitting you.” Jisung raised his hand for emphasis.

Hyunjin stared at him, but then a smile worked its way onto his face without him knowing. Jisung just snorted and smiled back before lowering his hand.

“So, are you gonna stop wallowing in self-pity or are you gonna go get the love of your life back?” Jisung raised his eyebrows.

“Could I finish the ice cream first?”

Jisung raised his hand again, making Hyunjin shriek and scramble backwards.

* * *

Minho, with nothing better to do, decided he might as well try to lighten his mood by going out. He had been moping inside for far too long. Was this how someone like him acted after getting his heart broken? _No._ Someone like him dealt with it with booze and someone hot to fuck. So he dragged himself into the shower, put on a particularly lethal outfit, and headed out to his favorite club.

He really shouldn’t have been surprised to find himself about an hour later, sitting at the bar, staring blankly at the drink in his hand, ignoring all the flirty, lustful looks from the people around him. Already three guys had tried to chat him up, but Minho had just sent them away with a cold stare or a cutting remark. A handful of others had sent him a drink, all of which he ignored. He supposed he should feel bad, but he really didn’t.

Maybe drinking alone in his apartment really was preferable to this. What a sad man he was turning into if that’s what his life was going to be from now on.

“The last time I saw you this picky was…never,” a familiar voice said, and Jaehyun, Minho’s favorite bartender, leaned on the bar across from him. “Are you sure you’re Lee Minho?”

“I’m the actor,” Minho said dryly before tossing back his drink. He set down the empty glass in front of him for Jaehyun to refill.

Jaehyun snorted as he refilled it. “What does it take to get Minho this picky and gloomy? And drinking whiskey of all things?”

“A really fucking hot but really fucking stupid model,” Minho said.

“A one-night-stand turned long-term? Unusual, even for you. He must be really good.”

Minho shook his head. “He wasn’t a one-night-stand, if you can believe it.”

Jaehyun raised his eyebrows. “An actual, committed boyfriend? Even stranger.”

“I know.” Minho snorted and sipped at his whiskey, wondering if he really was in a rush to get out of here or if he should just lower his standards and pick some random guy to go home with.

“So what happened?”

“He broke my heart. Which is why I’m here, drinking to forget him.” Minho studied his drink. “Like a fucking loser.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get over him,” Jaehyun said.

Minho sighed. “Yeah, that’s the plan.” He smirked at Jaehyun before sipping at his drink again.

Jaehyun smirked back and glanced around the bar. Some people were trying to get his attention to refill their drinks. With a sigh, he pushed off the bar to go deal with them.

Minho made a face down at his drink, wondering why he really was drinking whiskey of all things. He could drink whiskey at his apartment. He should have gotten something a bit more…fun.

Minho supposed he just wasn’t in a fun mood anyways.

He downed the rest of the drink and left a couple bills on the counter, paying more than the actual price because he had always been a generous tipper. He avoided the gazes of everyone at the bar as he turned around to leave, but he lifted his gaze to glare straight ahead. There was no way he was going to leave here staring at the ground like some poor, broken hearted loser.

He lifted his gaze and met a familiar one several feet away, at the edge of the dance crowd.

Minho froze mid-step, and so did Hyunjin. For a moment, they just stared at each other. Even in the dim lighting, Hyunjin was still breathtaking, dressed simply in black pants and a loose, black, button-up shirt tucked in at the waist, the red lighting of the club only making him look all that more sinful. Minho couldn’t help noticing with a twinge of jealousy how people glanced at Hyunjin. But Hyunjin only had eyes for Minho, and those eyes widened when he finally saw him.

Minho clenched his jaw so hard that the pain snapped him out of it, and he started walking. He walked straight for Hyunjin, fully intending to shift at the last minute to keep walking past him. But Hyunjin anticipated it and moved in front of him.

“Move,” Minho said, too exhausted to deal with him right now. He didn’t want to have an off-and-on thing with Hyunjin. He couldn’t handle that—or, more like his heart couldn’t handle that.

“No, I need to talk to you,” Hyunjin said.

“I don’t want to talk,” Minho scoffed. “There’s too much of it lately and it never seems to help.”

Hyunjin looked lost for a few moments before saying, “Then just let me show you. Let me show you how I feel.”

That got Minho’s attention, only because he didn’t think he’d ever hear anything like that come out of Hyunjin’s mouth. And, honestly, he was curious. Hyunjin seriously couldn’t be implying what Minho thought he was, was he?

Hyunjin watched Minho’s face, looking more nervous than usual as he waited for Minho to give a response. Minho finally shrugged and said, “Fine.”

He thought Hyunjin would take him out of the club or something and take him somewhere else. Instead, Hyunjin took a deep breath, grabbed Minho’s face, and kissed him.

It didn’t last nearly as long as Minho thought it would. Hyunjin only kissed him for a couple of seconds before he was pulling away, his eyes wide and the flush on his face visible even in the dim lighting, which had changed colors to purple. And yet, even in those few seconds, Minho had felt something, almost like an electric shock passing between them. It rendered him speechless for several moments, during which he just stared back at Hyunjin.

Hyunjin took his silence the wrong way and cringed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his gaze falling to the floor. “That was the wrong thing to do, wasn’t it? I just—”

Minho stopped him by pulling him towards him and kissing him again. Hyunjin let out a noise of surprise but kissed him back with just—if not more—emotion than before.

This one still didn’t last long and wasn’t anything deeper than just a chaste kiss, but that was because Minho pulled back and said, “Come with me.”

Hyunjin nodded, his face still flushed, and let Minho lead him out of the club.

The ride to Minho’s apartment passed in a blur, and then the two of them were in the elevator, riding up to Minho’s floor. Minho looked at Hyunjin, and Hyunjin looked back.

The moment they were through the door of Minho’s apartment, Minho was kissing Hyunjin again. The mood from the club had already changed drastically, and now that Minho had gotten the smallest taste, he couldn’t get enough. He pressed Hyunjin closer and closer, wanting to be as close as physically possible, wanting to be able to feel every single inch of him. His hands moved everywhere with a mind of their own, settling on the side of Hyunjin’s neck or in his hair or moving down his torso to his waist. And all throughout this, he never stopped kissing him for a moment, not even when he desperately needed air.

No, he didn’t need air—he needed Hyunjin.

Hyunjin somehow managed to kick the door shut behind him before locking his hands in Minho’s hair, like he was holding on for dear life. He didn’t back down from how aggressive and desperate Minho became, somehow managing to hold his own. At one point he started tugging Minho backwards by the front of his shirt, and the next thing Minho knew, they were both falling onto his bed.

Minho managed to catch himself by bracing both arms on either side of Hyunjin’s head, just so he wouldn’t knock the wind out of Hyunjin by falling on top of him. He took that moment to pause and just stare down at Hyunjin, wondering if this was some sort of alcohol-induced dream. Hyunjin’s lips were redder and plumper than usual, parted as he gasped for air, his face was flushed, his eyes were blown wide, and his dark hair fanned out on the white sheets under him. Minho thought, in that moment,Hyunjin had never looked more beautiful.

“What?” Hyunjin asked, worry crossing his face for a split second when Minho just stared down at him.

“You’re beautiful,” Minho said, and that made Hyunjin turn a deeper shade of red. It made Minho smile, and he reached out to cup the side of Hyunjin’s face. He ran a thumb over Hyunjin’s cheek and then his lips. He leaned down to give Hyunjin one last kiss, much softer and gentler than all the ones before.

Hyunjin seemed to panic as Minho pulled away, and he grabbed Minho’s shirt, holding him there, his eyes suddenly wide with fear.

“Relax, I’m not leaving,” Minho murmured.

“You seemed like you were,” Hyunjin said, fear and worry still clear in his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you leave that day when you told me—”

“It’s okay, Hyunjin.”

“No, it’s not, because I was selfish and I hurt you.” Hyunjin swallowed, his eyes now brimming with tears. “I love you.”

Minho smiled and brushed away one tear that managed to slip out of Hyunjin’s eyes. “I know.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?”

“Because I hurt you. You told me you loved me and I didn’t believe you.” More tears were slipping out of the corners of Hyunjin’s eyes now, and Minho brought up his other hand to wipe the tears from the other side of his face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Minho just smiled at him. He honestly didn’t understand how he could ever hate Hyunjin.

He leaned down again and pressed a kiss into Hyunjin’s forehead. Hyunjin took in a deep, shuddering breath as he fought to keep his emotions under control. But Minho could tell that he had been keeping this pent-up for awhile, so he moved to the side, off of Hyunjin, and onto the bed next to him. Hyunjin rolled over onto his side to face Minho, reaching up to place his hand over Minho’s, which was still cupping the side of his face and brushing away any tears. For several moments, Hyunjin just stared at him, like he had never seen Minho before. And the entire time, Minho smiled at him. There was a light in Hyunjin’s eyes again, and Minho dared to wonder if he was the one who had sparked it again.

“Can I call you mine?” Minho asked.

Hyunjin blinked, then gave a shaky laugh as he said, his voice still clogged with tears, “Only if I can call you mine too.”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way.” Minho smiled and pulled Hyunjin towards him so they could press their foreheads together. They stayed like that for several moments, long enough for Hyunjin to stop crying, and then a few moments more, during which he managed to breathe normally again. Minho just closed his eyes and focused on the happy burn in his chest, knowing that things would finally be okay.

Then, Hyunjin asked, completely out of the blue, “Can we get a dog?”

“Why…?” Minho couldn’t help smirking.

“I want one,” Hyunjin said.

“If we’re adopting any kind of pet, we’re getting a cat.”

“But I like dogs.”

“Well, I like cats.”

“Fine, how about I get a dog and you get a cat and we keep them at our separate apartments.”

“We’re not going to have one, collective apartment?” Minho opened one eye to see Hyunjin’s reaction.

“Whoa, what?” Hyunjin blinked several times in surprise. “We’re moving in together now?”

Minho laughed. “I’m kidding.” Then he arched an eyebrow. “Unless _you_ want to move in together?”

“It sounds nice,” Hyunjin said.

Minho couldn’t help smiling at that. “We’ll work towards it, how about that?”

Hyunjin smiled back. “Okay.”

They settled back down, where Minho moved his hand from Hyunjin’s face to Hyunjin’s lower back. He started to close his eyes again, but then Hyunjin mumbled, “I still want a dog, though.”

“You’re so demanding.”

“I saw a stray dog a few days ago and it was so cute and sad and I want to adopt it!”

Minho laughed softly again, thinking, _that sounds like you, Hyunjin_. “Alright, fine. We’ll go tomorrow to get your dog. And get me a cat.”

“Yay!” Hyunjin grinned and snuggled closer to Minho. He nestled his head under Minho’s chin.

Minho smiled so widely that his face hurt, but he didn’t care, because Hyunjin was finally in his arms, and he wasn’t going to let him go any time soon. He murmured one last _I love you,_ which Hyunjin said in reply this time, before letting his eyes slide shut.

For the first time in months, Minho slept well.

* * *

“I can’t believe you got a dog,” Seungmin said. “_And_ quit your job.”

“And got a boyfriend!” Changbin piped up in the background, where he was currently playing tug with the dog, named KJ (or Kkami Junior, or Junior, based on who it was, since suddenly everyone had their own nickname for Hyunjin’s new dog. Minho liked to call her Dog and nothing else).

Seungmin just shook his head. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you had an early midlife crisis and decided to turn your entire life around.”

Hyunjin just grinned from where he sat on the floor with his back against the couch, watching Changbin play with KJ. It had been a weird week, to say the least. He had, in fact, adopted a dog—an older golden retriever whose family had given her up when they moved cities. Hyunjin had taken one look at her sad face and immediately knew. And he had, in fact, quit his job at the modeling agency. He was currently in between jobs, but he had a job interview with Choa on Monday for the school newspaper.

And he had, in fact, gotten an official boyfriend this time, who was currently in the kitchen, rummaging though their cabinets in search of snacks.

“Don’t forget we also got a cat,” Minho said, coming back from the kitchen with a bag of chips. He sat on the couch by Hyunjin, who automatically moved so he was sitting in between Minho’s legs, and Minho reached down to hold out the bag of chips to him.

At the sound of food, KJ perked up, dropped the rope, and came barreling over to Hyunjin, her tail whipping from side to side and almost smacking Changbin in the face.

“No, KJ, doggies can’t eat potato chips!” Hyunjin said, moving his head away from KJ’s. KJ ignored all of that and started licking his face while continuing to move forward, thinking she could fit in Hyunjin’s lap when in fact she could not. Hyunjin just gave up and hugged KJ around the neck as she eventually decided to lay down in his lap. She was so big, though, that only her head could really fit. Hyunjin snorted and scratched behind her ears anyways.

“Wow,” Seungmin said, shaking his head.

“I’m not kissing you after the dog did,” Minho said, continuing to munch on the potato chips without a care in the world.

“Who would, honestly?” Changbin grinned, got up, and brushed the dog hair off his black jeans. He groaned in annoyance when he found that he was practically covered in it.

“That’s why you don’t wear black when you have a golden retriever,” Hyunjin said with a grin.

Minho snorted at that, and Hyunjin tipped his head back to look up at him. Minho smiled down at him and fed him a potato chip, which caused KJ to perk up. “No,” Hyunjin said, trying to be stern but failing. He had discovered within a few days that she was a master at begging and had caught Seungmin, Changbin, and even Minho sneaking her food when they thought he wasn’t looking. Needless to say, KJ finally had a happy, loving home with more than enough people willing to shower her with affection.

“So, who’s up for a new horror game?” Changbin said, grinning devilishly.

“Oh god,” Hyunjin said, his eyes widening.

“I’m down,” Minho said.

“Only if you actually play well this time,” Seungmin scoffed at Changbin. Changbin made a face at him, which Seungmin mimicked back at him, and then Changbin smirked.

“No promises,” Changbin said as he sat down on the couch next to Seungmin and picked up the controller.

As Changbin started the game and bickered with Seungmin, Hyunjin gently eased KJ off his lap. Then he stood up and crawled into Minho’s lap instead, where Minho put one arm around his waist while using the other to eat chips.

“Maybe this one won’t be as scary,” Hyunjin murmured, wrapping his arms around Minho’s neck and resting his head against his.

“Uh huh,” Minho replied, holding up another chip to Hyunjin’s mouth. “But I’ll be here for you to strangle if it’s as scary as the last one.”

“That’s love,” Changbin said from the other end of the couch.

Hyunjin just grinned at that, thinking, _You have no idea, Changbin._

It turned out that the game was even more terrifying than the last one, but this time Hyunjin wasn’t as scared, because he had Minho there to comfort him.

(that was a lie, he couldn’t sleep for days and as a result made Minho stay up and watch fun, cheesy rom-coms with him)

Hyunjin, in all honesty, was not okay. But he was getting there. And, as long as Minho was by his side, which he promised he always would be, Hyunjin knew, one day, he would find a way to heal completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> (also did anyone cry during this bc I definitely did when I was writing a few scenes...)
> 
> This was my first posted fic and honestly it was exciting but kind of terrifying. I think I'll start posting some of my other stuff as well in the future. We'll see how often that happens though lol


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